September 30, 2003

Strange Meat And Wallpaper Paste

Alec is doing a fourth grade project. They are to find recipes that are related to their ethnic heritage that are simple and we will make the item and bring it to school. After searching on the internet he decided to call up Darlene(my MIL) and asked her for an Irish recipe...but, he added, nothing with pig livers and boneless lamb...*grin* Apparently on his quest he discovered that these were some of the main ingreedients in many Irish recipes. He also found a ?tasty dish called Irish oatcakes that sounds a little bit like wallpaper paste...only you bake it...yum. It's easy though.
Today I'm off to shop for the coffee shop with my mom and Peggy. Yay. I hate shopping except for when the BP goes in November. Damn we have fun.
Other news.
Katie is mooning around about a boy.
God...not yet...I'm not ready for this.
One high school dance and Blamo...she's in love.
I hate hormones...
Andrew has been primping around lately too. Hmmmm
These are going to be some interesting times...scary...but interesting.
I hope I don't go insane before they are done..*grin*
If I do...I'll let you know.

September 29, 2003

Like Some Cheese With That

I know why a wild animal chews off his leg when he is caught in a metal trap. If I had something I could chew off to escape the pain...I would too. Gives a new meaning to "chewing some ass" though.
Other things of note:
The coffee shop is licensed!
About one week until we open the new pharmacy/coffee shop(crossing fingers).
My surgery nursing career is probably in the shitter because of my back.
Am I still an RN if I can't work?
That has been part of my identity for so long now that I can't think of NOT calling myself an RN.
I've always been proud to call myself an RN...and now...what am I? Well, I've always been honored to be a mother, wife, daughter, member of the BP (though our numbers are dwindling) yes...still those titles, perhaps coffee shop queen will replace my RN.
It's not the same.
Pouring a perfect espresso doesn't replace comforting the sick, injured and hurting.
There is no comparison.
I'm just having a little pity party for myself right now.
Being a barista has just never been one of my life goals.
Until now.
Maybe pouring a perfect espresso.could comfort someone who is sick, injured or hurting and I just don't know it yet.
Maybe it will be my comfort.
Please plug your ears and say Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee in a high pitched voice while reading the following message.
This has been a test of the Sheryl's a Whiney Ass Broadcast System
Had this been a real whine...cheese would have been provided.
Thank you.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

September 28, 2003

Snappity Doo Dah Snappity A

I added new pictures to People and to Nature and to Things and I added a new photo log called Head Garden

September 26, 2003

Looking For Hair In All The Wrong Places

I was just sitting in the tub thinking about hair. Why do women have to get facial hair? Is it fair? I think not. We have PMS and give birth. Those two things alone should be enough to deal with. Then I got to thinking about when I was around 12 years old. Suz and I were out walking around. We were still at the age where we enjoyed competing against the boys not competing forthe boys. Pretty naive and shy yet. Anyway, as we walked by the local theater(yah we had one then) a group of three or four boys hollered over at us. Suz and I about faced and started the other way. I can still remember one startling taunt. It haunts me still. It was this: "Hey, you girls have any hairs on your ass yet?". Suz and I got out of there. When we were safely away I looked at her and started, "You mean we get hairs"...Suz finished with..."on our ass?" Hell. It was mind boggling. We had no hairs anywhere yet. But we'd heard. We had occasionally glimpsed a patch or two of muff fuzz at the swimming pool but never...Gulp...Ass fuzz. What if it was true? What if we sprouted ass hair during puberty? We were mortified and disgusted. So much so that we quickly changed the subject. I'm sure that when we went our separate ways we went to our own bathrooms, locked the doors, and checked for strands. Sadly, I still don't really know the answer to the smart mouthed boys taunt. Do I have hairs on my ass? I don't know for sure. I'm sure I've got things back there that I don't even care to know about. As a matter of fact I think my ass has it's own neighborhood watch program. As far as hairs on that particular body part. I don't think I want to know. Let it be a surprise...for...Someone else. Meanwhile I've got enough to do what with checking my face for chin hairs.
Next time I'm greeted with a "Hey girl got any hairs on your ass yet?" I might have to answer with a "Hell ya and that ain't the worst of it...look at my chin baybee!"

Time and Time Again

This is SO cool. I know I've been prolific today but...so what.

Wee Willy Ain't So Wee Is He? OR Free Willy!

My dear Jo Jo the Dancing Girl...aka VIP BP...I must inform you that YES you do need 2 Willies. Why you can have twice the fun you could have had with just one! There are SO many uses for two Willies. One being that when you and your loved one are in a tiff or a little lovers quarrel...Give him one and you can just...Well, fence...Err....Spar so to speak. It might bring a twinkle in your eye or a trickle...Err...Whatever comes first. ( very big grin ) I can't really think of another reason right now to have two but I'm sure there are plenty. Perhaps a hat rack? I dish towel holder? A...doughnut holder comes to mind. I've got it! You know how some people leave their Christmas tree up all year and decorate it with the changing seasons? You could do that with your Willy. Sit a witch on the top for Halloween, a turkey for Thanksgiving, an angel astride it for Christmas. You get the picture. Yah...a new trend. You ARE a trend setter Jo...Don't you ever never foget it!


I Done Got Edge-U-Kated

Everything I didn't want to know about spinal fusion in a cute little animated doo dah.

September 25, 2003

Peace Man!

Daughter Katie is dressing up for homecoming week. Today is "Decade Day" so she went as a 60's child. She actually let me take her picture! Here's the proof!




Katie and her friend Jillian. Jillian is an 80's material girl!

September 24, 2003

Soma Soma Soma

Today I just took two steps backward. My back pain is sooo severe that I KNOW the nice Dr. put a curse on me. I was so very pain free when I left his office on Monday and when I woke up Tuesday...SHAZAAM. I know as soon as I got that goddamned paper thin gown off and left the building he grabbed a voodoo doll and started poking needles into its lower back. Therefore I've been on a Soma holiday since early this am. I HATE taking medicine! Still have back pain but I slept through it...whatever. When I woke up at around 1:45 I wished I had me a silver bell and a maid so I could ring and someone could come traipsing up my seventeen stairs and bring me a big glass of 7-up and just a touch of orange juice. As it is I saw only Pickles, my big fat cat, and so asked her to do it. She looked at me as if to say, Kiss my what?

September 23, 2003

I don't know if you remember but Alec and Andrew were in the St Judes Bike-a-thon and they each raised quite a bit of money.

Alec raised the most and Andrew the second most. The bike ride was on Sunday and they each rode 10 miles. Alec,(if you remember had 2 pledge papers full of people's names who had donated money and I accidentally washed them and they looked like dingleberries when I found them) well, we were to have all the money collected by today...guess what? We don't. Tomorrow for sure but...it is VERY difficult to read. More later!


Later...here is THE SHEET I washed. I think my mother deserves a mother of the year award for piecing together and taping that sheet into a readible form! Thank Mom!



I don't know if you remember but Alec and Andrew were in the St Judes Bike-a-thon and they each raised quite a bit of money.
Alec raised the most and Andrew the second most. The bike ride was on Sunday and they each rode 10 miles. Alec,(if you remember had 2 pledge papers full of people's names who had donated money and I accidentally washed them and they looked like dingleberries when I found them) well, we were to have all the money collected by today...guess what? We don't. Tomorrow for sure but...it is VERY difficult to read. More later!

Later...here is THE SHEET I washed. I think my mother deserves a mother of the year award for piecing together and taping that sheet into a readible form! Thank Mom!


September 22, 2003

My Life On The Fly


I went to bed at 4 am because I was making coffee shop menus
I got up at 6 am because Katie did (not really a quality time for us today I might just add)
I went to the neurologist today at 11:15. Good news and bad news.
I was supposed to have a meeting with 2 Wholesale Reps today
My mom did it instead (thank you mom!)
Good news:I don't have to have surgery as of yet AND the nice Dr. Told me that I didn't have to worry about my weight...Yet.
I think he may have seen me in the gown and thought to himself...DAMN I better not get too radical with her about weight because it looks to me as if she could pummel the hell out of me
Maybe he thought this: she looks like a - I could squash you like a grape, put you in a glass and drink ya kind of girl
At lease he didn't say this: Hey girl take that 3 axe handle and a shoe box wide ass out on a few more walks and your back wouldn't be in such bad shape.
Bad news: My problem will not be "cured" and the surgery to correct it is a spinal fusion. Done now, he informed me from the front and the back and he told me all kinds of depressing things about that and how I will have to baby my back and yadaa yadaa yadaa....blah
But, hey, I don't have to do it now...Just, probably, later.
So...I went shopping and bought some 2 axe handle and a shoe box wide sized clothes.

September 21, 2003

Fungus Among Us

I just found out that May is fungal infection awareness month. Wow. Just one more reason that makes May a month of infamy (besides it being the month I'm born of course).

September 20, 2003

Post American Wedding Night Bitch Posse Gala

Mark and I, Suz and Kurtis and Lauri and Brad met up with Duane and Jo at the theatre and went to American Wedding. My God...We laughed so much we: a) wet our pants, b) melted our make up, and 3)snorted entirely too much for public viewing. Get with a group and GO SEE IT. Of course we did have a margarita(s) first...Grin. Walmart has a great mix with the takillya already mixed in. It's a must have for any bitch posse get together. After the movie we came back to our house and made a fire (2 alarm fire I might add...Damn those boys and their wood), ate pizza, sandwiches and just gabbed/bitched/laughed/ around. Here's a lovely shot of Suz (Slats) and Lauri( Lois Lane) at their best. What you CAN'T see is the fact that their hands are gripping cups of margaritas in a primal touch my drink and you'll regret it sort of way...and yes I think Lauri is trying to suck Suz's drink through the air without the aid of a straw. You GO Girl!


Here's a picture of Kurtis and Brad playing with their wood. Brad can't keep his hot little hands of his big stick-o-wood and notice Kurtis is wearing my nurses lab coat...He's the epitome of a bitch posse wannabe...

September 19, 2003

No Shit

Why can't the boys in my house poop at school. I mean, come on they ARE there during "peak" hours and it would really save wear and tear on our toilet. I am sick to death of finding a moat of turds surrounded by a yellow, spattered seat. I'm sick to death of plunging. I hate washing towels that have been used to mop of the "misflushes". We have one of those new fangled toilets that is supposed to "save water". Yah...Right. In my house you always, on the threat of death, poop flush then wipe flush. I tell everyone that moto if they ask to use our bathroom. I wish I had it embroidered on a hand towel and I would hang it right above the toilet. Some people are surprised, some laugh, some are embarrassed, but I can tell you this...They ALL poop flush wipe flush at my house!

September 18, 2003

The Reason Mental Is In Departmentalization

Today I worked in surgery and it went well. I think I'm back! I got done at 12:30 and had to get Katie to a dentist appointment at 1:00. Then the rest of my afternoon was filled up with...
Parent teacher conferences today:
Alec is in fourth grade and this year that grade is departmentalized...Which in essence means that he is now "following the high school bell" for his school periods. He has 6 teachers.
Andrew is in sixth grade and this year that grade is departmentalized as well. He has 7 teachers.
Katie is a freshman in highschool and therefore she has 7 teachers.
That makes...Well let's see...20 TEACHERS FOR ME TO SEE IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME TO TELL ME HOW WELL/BAD THEY ARE DOING IN SCHOOL!
Do I sound stressed?
Well how about the kids?
I really think fourth grade is too young to be departmentalized. Andrews grade is handling it well, but I'm just not sure about the fourth.
On a good note it only took me about 2 hours and I missed only 2 teachers!
Mark showed up about half way through and started in on Katie's teachers. Thank God!
So...How was your day?

addendum: I forgot the boys share some teachers so in reality I only had 16 different teachers to see. Now THAT'S quite a difference. NOT

September 17, 2003

Husker Volleyball...It's a Nebraska Thang

Yah! Husker Volleyball Rocks Love to Christina our home town girl! You go girl and spank that ball!! Whoooooo! Can you tell I'm excited! I just watched Nebraska win over A&M. We won in 5 sets and I would bet dimes to dollars those girls are going to be doing laps for their crappy serving. But hey...In the end we are victorious!

Pissed Off Mama

School pictures today and I'm nobody's best friend. Katie sputtered several "whatever's" when I complimented her hair and refused my help to curl her hair because her bud was coming over this morning and I'm sure I could hear her say under her breath, (look at your hair...And YOU want to help ME) and Andrew growled when I said good morning (normal) Alec was unhappy when I went to wake him up (abnormal) Mark is still tucked away under the covers (butthead)...Sigh...At least ole Petey the good dog likes me this a.m. To bad I'm mad at him. I smell piss...Somewhere...And even though I've scoured every inch of the "woodstove" room...I still smell piss. Might be in my head...cuz we've shut the room off and he isn't able to get in there anymore ...OR...I've got a secret pisser...Either way...I'm PISSED.

September 15, 2003

Raed My Lpis

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist
and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe


No I'm not drunk. Shelley sent me this article and I wondered if SHE was drunk until I read the whole thing. Isn't that bizarre? Doesn't that make dyslexia seem...somehow...normal?

September 14, 2003

It's Twue

My husband has HAIR growing, not out of, but ON, his ears. What kind of freak is God to do that to people. I mean...what are ear muffs for anyway? We do NOT need fur on our bodies to keep us warm. Really, now, I'm offended when I want to nibble at a lobe or two and I feel as if I'm gnawing on a cat. Yuck. I know, I know, there are always worse things that can appear on a body (don't I fucking know it...and NO pictures will NOT be posted later). I can hear a voice in the background saying...(and ya'll know this is an imaginary voice that sounds just like my mother right?) Sheryl, Sheryl, (can you hear her shaking her head now and going tsk tsk tsk) at least your husband can hear, and he can walk and he can talk and he can provide for you...(another round of Sheryl's and tsks). I know I know MOM I'm thankful for ALL OF THOSE THINGS! I am. But Jesus...HAIR on EARS! Not to mention there were more hairs on his ears than on his head and many of those were GRAY ones!
Luv you honey!! But SHAVE YOUR FUCKING EAR LOBES!

September 13, 2003

Growth Spurt (!)

Things Alec ate today...so far(that I know of):
9:30 a.m.
3 fried eggs and 2 pieces of toast with butter
1 glass of milk
10:30 a.m.
1/4 of Chef Boyardee Deep Dish Meal 5-Cheese Ravioli
1 large glass of chocolate milk
11:30 a.m.
3 corndogs
1 large glass of diet mountain dew
1:30
1 large ice cream swirlie

I'm Having Surgery

It's official. Since I've hurt my back I've gained almost 10 pounds. I now belong to those select few that live in Lardonia. I've elected to have a drastic surgery...Something only a few daring souls have tried. I'm going to have this sticker surgically adhered across my MOUTH!







ps...congratulations go out to Shenry for e-mailing me with his address sooo fast my head spun! Shenry wins a stupid prize compliments of The Dash...just cuz!

September 12, 2003

Yahoodiville

Hey...the first person that e-mails me their address is going to win a stupid prize. Count on it!

No Happy Medium

What about clerks who talk ALL the time. Why don't they just shut the hell up. Or better yet why don't they look in a mirror and just talk to their own damned self non stop until they keel over. People who talk incessantly are in love with themselves and have no time for other people. The only reason they would need someone else is to bounce words off of something besides a closed door. Hey you word spewing volcanoes of verbal feces...SHUT UP ALREADY. Leave me alone. Quite following me around a store and saying oh that'll look good on you and can I help you can I help you can I help you NO FOOL YOU FUCKING CANNOT unless you plan on throwing yourself beneath the Frito-Lay truck.

September 11, 2003

Shit Fire and Underage Clerks

Suz showed up and kidnapped me to Walmart. I had a few things I thought I "needed".

Needed things

febreeze

cat litter

chrysanthimums

dog food

shavers

lipstick

something to take oil off of cement

?khaki pants for Katie

crickets

new shirts for boys...pictures coming up

hairspray


Things I got instead:

febreeze (off to a good start!)

2 "mums"(good girl!)

3 sacks of candy bars(bad girl)

pair of pants and shirt for ME(bad girl...not to mention they were in Big Mama size...damn)

candy dish(?)

lettuce(good girl)

Italian herb wrap bread(delicious)

10 slices swiss cheese(fanfarkingtabulous)

1/2 pound honey turkey(gobble gobble)

gum

beer(I got in a line with an underage clerk you might know so for about 10 minutes we stood there waiting to have the elder manager come ring out the beer and THEN the manager, who was about 21 years and 1 day old CARDED me...hahahahahah yes it's so funny because my line was about 4 schizophrenic, nose picking road raging IQ challanged people deep and I COULDN'T FIND MY ID...jesus...I felt about 16 years old and I said(possibly out loud)...HELL FORGET THE BEER and YOU CAN PUT MY WHOLE DAMN CART AWAY NOW CAN'T YA when I found my ID...DUH DUH DUH...I KNOW I look young...snicker but not THAT young...shit fire Walmart...Get Some Age Appropriate Clerks!!! When I wanna buy beer I want to get it and get out!

Quality vrs Quantity...Whatever

Mark has redeemed himself. He got up to spend "quality" time with his daughter at 6:30 this a.m. and let me sleep in an extra 1/2 hour. (Katie has to be at school at 7:15 every day except for Fridays for cheerleading practice and swing choir practice and since she has volleyball practice after school I made the decision this year that I would get up at 6:00 everyday and spend time with her.) Yes, I say quality as if that is something good although quantity may be the better word as she is NEVER home, always busy and often moody when she is home. As I stumbled down at about 7:00 Katie was mumbling about not being able to find nail polish remover (in her room last I saw...But who could find ANYTHING in that black hole), needing money (I gave her some...She did NOT say thank you!) and that she NEEDED a pair of khaki pants (like, now). Katie hit the door running when her best friend showed up without a second glance and as we called "Have a good day!" she followed up with a weak "Whatever" and she was gone. Mark rubbed his head and said that Katie had quickly abandoned the living room the minute he came downstairs to visit with her, he seemed bewildered and wondered if he had bad breath...I said...Welcome to a fourteen year olds morning routine. Ugly aint it?! Mark then proceeded to say I'm going back to bed now. I said Thank you very much don't worry about staying up and spending quality time with our boys...I'll do that! You go right back to bed sweetheart!

September 10, 2003

Congratulations...You Are A Wiener!

I'm hot, stanky, bitchy and my back is KILLING me...not necessarily in that order. I've been cleaning and painting pharmacy shelves until I think I wanna puke. Mark has been hammering and moving things about in a manly way just enough to avoid picking up a paint brush or a cleaning rag...For these actions I award him with the much adored and oft coveted trophy of the...

Stuff and Whatever blah blah blah

Well, I went to get my hair cut for the first time in about 2 years. I always just cut it myself. at midnight. with a childrens fiskars scissors. in a moment of self loathing. Don't know what possessed me to go and pay for a trim.

I want to give Shenry a big THANK YOU for telling me what the "wrapped up like a douche in the night" was really supposed to be(revved up like a deuce another runner in the night.) and also a THANK YOU goes out to Shelley...who thought she knew what that line was too!

September 09, 2003

Cluster Assed Day From Hell Calgon Take Me The Hell Away

I keep assessing everyone I talk to for West Nile Virus. Any rash the kids have, headache, body aches etc...It's running rampant around here. So many of the staff have it that I'm afraid we are going to be running out of nurses soon. Damn those bloodsucking skeeters!

In other news...I've been making red onion pickles and chicken soup (for my mom who is sick). I was boiling the chicken breasts and blanching the onions at the same time...which was kind of a cluster...because I also knocked out of the fridge a bowl of rice that shattered on my floor. What a MESS. I also did something else stupid. My son




has been working on gathering sponsors for 1 1/2 weeks for the bike a thon. He had two whole sheets filled out with names, addresses, phone numbers, and amount of money sponsored...he worked his ASS off getting those sponsors...I washed those sheets of paper today. They are the size of butt dingleberries now and just as readable. God help me.

Grocery List From Hell

1 bottle tums(tropical fruit flavor to send one reeling thinking one is on cruise ship on way to tropical paradise instead of fighting persistant acid reflux...or re fux as I like to call it!)

1 bag cough drops(honey lemon) you never know when you'll need 'em and Mark predicts a "bad respiratory illness" season this year

1 tube benedryl cream (for those itches you can't scratch n pubic...I mean public)

1 red wine glass (1 got broken last night after yodelling fest)

dust pan (where did it go?)

cord of wood (fire fire boil and bubble mwhaaaahaaahaaa)

1 or 2 bags of cat litter(for fire pit and for kitty cat's bathroom pleasure!)

1 sexy bra (red...!)

batteries (assorted sizes...hmmmmm)

marshmallows (big ones...toasting of course)

boys underwear size medium (black...duh)

clorox (duh!)

dishwash detergent (crap)


On another note...you know that song that has...Blinded by the light...and then...something after that to me sounds like wrapped up like a douche in the night? What are those words suppposed to be? God that drives me insane! I mean...wrapped up like a douche? That can't be good.

September 08, 2003

Fun-n-Games

Just for fun go here to caption the funny ass picture. Then go here to laugh at emotional Eric!

Ho Down

Went to bed last night smelling of jasmine, vanilla and woodsmoke. Not a bad combo at all. Perhaps Johnson's had best think of adding woodsmoke to their powders! We had a "ho down" here last night to celebrate my moms birthday. No one yodelled but the idea was tossed around. Mark played the drums like he was born to be a lounge singer band member. Bob played the guitar and sang twang. Mary played her keyboard. The rest of the group listened and tapped feet, stayed near the citrinella candles and ate potluck. The kids roasted marshmallows (Of course we had a fire) and hot dogs and played hide-n-go seek. I don't think the neighbors were too crabby cause we quit around 10:30. A good time was had by all!

September 07, 2003

Today Is Your Birthday

Happy Birthday To Youuu Happy Birthday Toooo Youuuuu! Happy Birthday Dear Moooom Happy Birthday Toooooo Youuuuuuu! and I do mean you scooby doo on channel two frankenstein on channel nine achooooo bless you chugga chugga whoooo whoooo!

September 06, 2003

Whooop de Doo

I love cocktail wienies all taking a bath in catalina and BBQ sauce...they is devine!

In other news: Our girls JV's won one and lost one and the varsity won both at their volleyball games last night. Wooooo!

We had several over for a before the game BBQ and it was good eating...hamburgers, hotdogs and the occasional scotch a roo.

Daughter Katie did her cheerleading thang...Wooooo!

The boys spent the football game running around, racing around the track and ended up smelling like wet dogs. Phewwwww!

The varsity boys won in football tonight! Woooooo!

Had another fire! Wooooo!

That is all...Woooooo!


September 04, 2003

Yummy Gummi Honey and Fire

I just LOVE sweat flavored gummi...don't you? I've got the addiction now and can't stop myself. Try it...you'll soon be craving it like you crave Le Maison de Waffle!

In other notes I really want to start a fire. I know it's hot out and in the middle of the day. But now...since I have the pit I can't stop thinking about fire. If you came over I would say Hi...let's go sit on the deck and I'll start a fire and we can drink beer and make smores. I used to have a fire going all the time when I was a youngster. Very controlled. I always lined a hole with rocks and used very small twigs. I stole matches from Merle's Cafe. Merle always kept them in a bowl right between the whole pickled eggs and the pickled pigs feet. I made soup for my dog using an empty Folgers can and veggies that I "borrowed" from peoples gardens. God I love fire!

September 03, 2003

Ssssmokin'!

Mark got an outdoor fire pit for our anniversary and brought it home today and put it together and by damn if we didn't have us a little fire going by 8:30 tonight. I love the smell of fire, I love the sight of fire, I LOVE FIRE. I sometimes think I was an arsonist in a previous life. That, or a professional wienie roaster.

Back Aches and Snap Beans

Well, as much as I hate to say this I think I'm going to have to have something done for my back pain. It's been a month and the pain is still so severe at times I feel nauseated. I haven't really been able to work or be on my feet for too long of a time for a month...that SUCKS. I do things but I have to stop every once in a while and give in to the pain. I really, really dread having to have surgery. (Maybe cause I'm a surgery nurse?!)

In other news...I'm making a big pot of snap beans (thanks Suz!)with onion, a bit of bacon and vinegar. I loves me a big pot o beans. Mmmmm.

The weather is so perfect here. Coolish and a bit cloudy at 70 degrees and a nice breeze to make my wind chimes sing (better them than me) I would LOVE to be out walking with my headphones on. Maybe a good dose of motrin and some heat and I'll be able to. Toodles...did I just say toodles? Eeewww

September 02, 2003

10,000

Wow...I just noticed the hit meter at my poetry site is just over 10,000. That amazes me. I usually get a few hits a day and it's been slowly creeping up.

Possum Pizza

Bazooka Fest

I went walking last night...really. My back hurt like a sumbitch but I did it anyway...for my health ya know? Anyway as I was cripping my way back home I noticed a pair of red eyes peeping out from beside our wood pile. Then out came a damn possum. I was pissed! I hate those ugly turds. I screamed at the rat faced skank to "Get the hell out of here!!" and the whole neighborhood heard I'm sure...cuz I had my headphones on and my music cranked...and even I heard my shrieking! About 2 years ago we had a whole nest of possums living under our deck. UGH We got my dads catch 'em alive trap and every day for 9 days in row we caught one of those worthless trash eating suckwads. After about possum number 5 I spray painted a red dot on the ass of one of them before we turned him loose...just to see if we were turning them loose and they were coming back and so on and so on. We never did catch one with a red dot on his butt...so I figure we had a mamma and her 8 babies. GROSS!!! I'm going to do an inspection tomorrow and if I see signs of a possum infestation I'm gonna get a bazooka and roast some rat faced bas turds for breakfast! Anyone care to join me? I'll supply the toast!