Nurses Notes

Shelley sent me some funny sayings that are SO true about being a nurse...grin... You know you are a nurse if......... ...........the front of your scrubs read: 'Nurses...here to save your ass, not kiss it!' ............you occasionally park in the space with the 'Physicians Only' sign, and knock it over. ............you've ever told a patient to 'move toward the light.' ............you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them ............you always follow the rules, but be wise enough to forget them sometimes. ............you can't cure stupid. ............you have seen more moons than the Hubbell telescope. ............you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them ............you never get into an argument with an idiot, because they only bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience. ............you hope there's a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light. ............you believe that saying, 'It can't get any worse' causes it to get worse just to show you it can. ............you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom. ............you've ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent gift for Christmas. ............you've ever spent more money on a stethoscope than on a car payment. ............you believe any job where you can drive to work in pajamas is a cool job. ............the ER is a mixture of can do, can't do, and why the hell not! ............you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil ............you know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky. ............eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural. ............you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control. ............you've ever had a patient with a nose ring, brow ring and 12 earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots." ............you've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level ............you believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac ............you believe the 'On-call Nurse' program is a satanic plot. ............you believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick. ............your idea of a good time is a Code Blue at shift change.