September 29, 2004

Handier Than a Pocket In Your Underwear!


Handier Than a Pocket In Your Underwear!


Merrily, Merrily, Merrily...

Have you ever been at a celebration of some sort, let's say a homecoming football game, just for shits and giggles and it's time for the crowning of the King and Queen and just as the announcements are being made someone nudges you and says, as they point at the goal post, "Isn't that your youngest son sitting on the goal post?". You say "Don't tell me that!" and fight the urge to look at the goal post and yet, for some odd reason you do look and sure as HELL it IS your youngest son sitting on the goal post swinging his legs and looking like a happy little lad? Have you? Have you?

I'm thinking it's just a dream, sort of a waking nightmare really.



Merrily, Merrily, Merrily...

Have you ever been at a celebration of some sort, let's say a homecoming football game, just for shits and giggles and it's time for the crowning of the King and Queen and just as the announcements are being made someone nudges you and says, as they point at the goal post, "Isn't that your youngest son sitting on the goal post?". You say "Don't tell me that!" and fight the urge to look at the goal post and yet, for some odd reason you do look and sure as HELL it IS your youngest son sitting on the goal post swinging his legs and looking like a happy little lad? Have you? Have you?
I'm thinking it's just a dream, sort of a waking nightmare really.


September 27, 2004

Counting To 10...five times

I'm here...I've just been waaayyy busy. To the max. Saturday seemed like 3 days rolled into one. I did a lot of things.

1) tried to recover from a wild busy day on Friday...(my feet felt like they had their own heartbeat by the end of Friday night)

2) worked Saturday from 6:30am - 1:30pm at the shop with Cindy Sue and we were busy

3) found out my MIL is coming...the MIL is coming...the MIL is coming

4) remembered our little rental MIL house (right beside us) where my MIL and here friend will stay because the friend has an allergy to animals...hadn't been cleaned since about, ohhhhhhh 1 year ago in August (SHIT!)

5) remembered that there is only 1 bed in that house and 1 recliner chair that falls over when you lean too far back in it

6) threw all our dirty laundry downstairs and it made a heap about to my head(granted, I'm not tall but dahum!)

7) decided the laundry could wait~!

8) did yard work, cleaned the pond, painted a room, made a pepperoni hamburger stromboli, made brownies, did 6,000 dishes

9) thought about taking a nap

10) thought about making a bed out of 2 sawhorses and an old door but figured the MIL might notice

11) watched Katie get ready for the homecoming dance...awwwww cute girl!

12) made a Pico de Gallo to take over to a friends house(from now on she will be known as Mrs. Funky Cold Medina) because we were going to have a REAL FUNKY COLD MEDINA! FINALLY! THE REAL DEAL!

13) got a frantic call from someone about their brand new baby who was jaundiced so I went there to check the babe (she looked great and her jaundice is not as bad as it was) She is a cutie pie, little Hannah Beau

14) decided to take the Pico to the new mom's house and quickly make more when I returned home to take to MRS FUNKY COLD MEDINA'S home

15) got back late

16) discovered I now had extra kids, boys, ages 9-11 staying at my house, all night long

17) got company

18) got more company

19) looked at the clock

20) did NOT get to have a FUNKY COLD MEDINA!! Double Damn Son of a Sass a Frass!!!!

Counting To 10...five times

I'm here...I've just been waaayyy busy. To the max. Saturday seemed like 3 days rolled into one. I did a lot of things.
1) tried to recover from a wild busy day on Friday...(my feet felt like they had their own heartbeat by the end of Friday night)
2) worked Saturday from 6:30am - 1:30pm at the shop with Cindy Sue and we were busy
3) found out my MIL is coming...the MIL is coming...the MIL is coming
4) remembered our little rental MIL house (right beside us) where my MIL and here friend will stay because the friend has an allergy to animals...hadn't been cleaned since about, ohhhhhhh 1 year ago in August (SHIT!)
5) remembered that there is only 1 bed in that house and 1 recliner chair that falls over when you lean too far back in it
6) threw all our dirty laundry downstairs and it made a heap about to my head(granted, I'm not tall but dahum!)
7) decided the laundry could wait~!
8) did yard work, cleaned the pond, painted a room, made a pepperoni hamburger stromboli, made brownies, did 6,000 dishes
9) thought about taking a nap
10) thought about making a bed out of 2 sawhorses and an old door but figured the MIL might notice
11) watched Katie get ready for the homecoming dance...awwwww cute girl!
12) made a Pico de Gallo to take over to a friends house(from now on she will be known as Mrs. Funky Cold Medina) because we were going to have a REAL FUNKY COLD MEDINA! FINALLY! THE REAL DEAL!
13) got a frantic call from someone about their brand new baby who was jaundiced so I went there to check the babe (she looked great and her jaundice is not as bad as it was) She is a cutie pie, little Hannah Beau
14) decided to take the Pico to the new mom's house and quickly make more when I returned home to take to MRS FUNKY COLD MEDINA'S home
15) got back late
16) discovered I now had extra kids, boys, ages 9-11 staying at my house, all night long
17) got company
18) got more company
19) looked at the clock
20) did NOT get to have a FUNKY COLD MEDINA!! Double Damn Son of a Sass a Frass!!!!

September 25, 2004

A woman is like a teabag- only in hot water do you realize how strong she is



That reminds me of a joke. Three couples are sitting at a fancy restaurant eating. Bob, wanting to impress everyone, especially his date, says, "Pass the sugar, Sugar". She beams and does and smiles sweetly at her man.

Glen thinks to himself, gosh, I gotta impress my date now and says, "Pass the honey, Honey". Sure enough his date moves closer and holds his hand. Well, that sure puts Jim Jones at a loss. He thinks, and thinks, and thinks and finally his face lights up and he turns to his date and says, "Pass the Tea, Bag!".

A woman is like a teabag- only in hot water do you realize how strong she is



That reminds me of a joke. Three couples are sitting at a fancy restaurant eating. Bob, wanting to impress everyone, especially his date, says, "Pass the sugar, Sugar". She beams and does and smiles sweetly at her man.
Glen thinks to himself, gosh, I gotta impress my date now and says, "Pass the honey, Honey". Sure enough his date moves closer and holds his hand. Well, that sure puts Jim Jones at a loss. He thinks, and thinks, and thinks and finally his face lights up and he turns to his date and says, "Pass the Tea, Bag!".

September 24, 2004

Food For Thought

The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values.



Food For Thought

The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values.

September 23, 2004

How To Write An Anonymous Letter Without Being "Found Out"

Dear "Jan",
Please click here **** and get some help on how to remain anonymous!
Good Luck,
Sheryl McCurdy

September 21, 2004

It's SO hard to find good help these days!

Well, today my scones were called charcoal briquets and I hardly even quivered, before I threw a wet dishcloth at Cindy's head! That bag! Those scones were perfecly fine...they were a bit brown, granted, but they tasted fine! I mean, what good is coffee if you can't dunk something into it? Right? Anyway, at least I wasn't wearing a sparkly belt when I baked them! HA!
Also, I got my arm wedged between my hope chest and the foot of the bed, and it wasn't because of anything "indecent" either, unless you call lusting after a piece of hubba bubba bubble gum indecent.
Sad isn't it. I dropped the gum, then jammed my arm between the iron foot of my bed and the back of my hope chest. Oddly, my arm became stuck, I was in pain, but I SURE as hell wasn't going to yell for help. There I was, bent over the hope chest, arse in the air, arm jammed to the floor, still my one thought was, "Where the hell is that gum?". Finally I just bit the bullet and yanked my arm out, only knocking my "coffee elbow" as hard as I could and causing EXTREME pain.
No gum though.
I had to get down on my hands and knees and scrounge for it.
There, admist a cluster of books, dust bunnies, a hanger, 1 sock, a q-tip and a picture of a penquin(?) was my prize.
I'm blowing bubbles right nowwww!
After all that business I decided to dye my hair.
Who knows what color I am now because I haven't even looked in the mirror yet.
Probably fart brown, the same as my scones.

Dear Jan Thompson aka anonymous,

I would like to know what it is that you want. Did you go to the school board meeting and not get your way? Are you stamping your feet and throwing a temper tantrum?
It sounds as if you would like Mark off the school board. I may be "reading into things" but I think that is the case. I wonder why. I wonder if you realize the time and effort Mark spends on school issues. Mark has always been one to be vocal and he cares what happens to the children of this district. Perhaps it is because he isn't from around here and never understood the politics of watching what you say and who you say it around. Maybe he speaks his mind and you find that offensive. Maybe he doesn't kiss your ass.
Now to set you straight about something. If you think that my husband has anything to do with this site you are sadly mistaken. I write this site. Yes, there is foul language at times. Yes, even vulgar. Mark has nothing to do with it. I think you will notice that I always sign my name. Again, I say, this is a private site and I NEVER give out the URL and if you don't like what you read here, STAY THE HELL AWAY.
You say that THE MCCURDYS THINK EVERYTHING IS A JOKE. Well, I know for one thing that YOU are a joke of a person. A sad little minded person who obviously hasn't enough to keep you busy. I see the Park Board needs members...why not start with that. Maybe you could see how a board works, put in some volunteer time of your own, find out what it takes to get along with a group of people who have different opinions. Work for the good of our community.
Somehow I have my doubts that you could get along with a group of people. I think you must be only about yourself and I'm afraid it would be your way or no way.
What a pity. Being mean and small takes up so much energy. Life is short. Why not use your energy toward something good.
Actually I would really dislike someone such as yourself, an anonymous trouble maker, influencing my children and the children of this community. We don't need anymore cowards who carry a mighty pen...that job is taken.

Sheryl McCurdy

September 20, 2004

Come Out Of The Closet Jan




Please visit my new store called Vote For Jan Thompson! All proceeds will go toward the funding of...The get to know Jan Thompson campaign.








The "filthy" article was posted by me but written by guess who...Jan Thompson or Anonymous in the May 2004 archives of my web site...
  • May 2004



  • People...how many times must I say this. If you don't like what you read here, and you aren't man or woman enough to come over to me face to face and talk to me as a decent human being...DON'T COME BACK AND READ THIS WEB BLOG AGAIN!
    It is SO Simple.

    September 18, 2004

    Love Those Bawls...!

    My Bawls and my sugar free Bawls got backordered.
    damn
    I sure had a craving for some lip smacking Bawls but nooooooo I shall have to remain thirsty.

    September 17, 2004

    Over The Lips & Past The Gums

    I had a new kind of drink last night...granted it was a teeny tiny one...but it was good. When Cindy and I went on our shopping spree last week I picked up a bottle of Caramel Apple Schnapps. yah baby! Anyway, I threw some Diet Mountain Dew in the blender, ice, and some Schnapps and pressed blend. Presto chango...I had a Candy Apple Swirlie! It was GOOD. It was bright green and a little hard on the eyes...but suweet to the lips! You should definitely try some.
    In other news I've been busier than a cat covering up crap. I am ready for a rest break.
    Anytime now.
    I can't believe we will be open 1 year the first week of October. I don't know where the time has gone!

    September 14, 2004

    Yeeee Hawwww....baybee!

    William Chambers...this guy...came into the coffee shop today. He looked like a scruffy, tuff lean wrangler, except for the fact that he had cerebral palsy he sort of looked like Sam Elliot. Anyway, he was on a book tour and was "peddling" a book that he will be a movie this called, "A Tale of Two Cowboys", and a book of his cowboy poetry. Now, I'm not one for cowboy poetry, but I am a sucker for books, so of course, I bought several to put in the shop. What I have read so far is funny and reminds me of country western songs...there is a whole life story in each one.
    In other news...
    ...
    ...
    hmmm...still thinking....I'll get back to you.

    September 13, 2004

    A Hand In The Bush Is Worth...? what was that anyway?

    For the un-discreet political activist...click here and most certainly, when your package arrives show the world what you think of bush.

    September 12, 2004

    I'm Still Smiling Today!

    I'm giggling because the cutest, most huggable sweetest guy who I would LOVE to take home with me came into the coffee shop yesterday. Before you say, "Sheryl...you are married you evil slut!" let me just mention that this wonderful sweet hug bunny is around 2 or 3 years old. Anyway, he came up to me with his big brown eyes and hands lightly clasped and asked if he could, "Pwease vacuum the coffee shop".
    His father rolled his eyes and proceeded to tell me that his son is OBSESSED with vacuum cleaners. He can't get enough of them. He LIVES to vacuum. The little boy had an eagle eye and spotted our old Singer sitting in the back and he SO wanted to just look it over.
    god it was cute.
    And the kid was so very serious as a heart attack about wanting to vacuum that I hated to refuse him!
    In the end he was allowed to visit the vacuum, and after his teensy tiny drop of coffee with mostly butterscotch and milk in, he wanted to hug the vacuum goodbye.
    Which, he did. With a tear in his eye.
    Isn't that the sweetest thing you ever heard of?
    I wish I'd had my camera to take a picture.
    That just MADE MY DAY...and it still makes me happy everytime I think of it.

    September 09, 2004

    Bag Boys Needed ASAP

    Went on a whirlwind shopping spree with Cindy Sue yesterday in Kearney.
    In spite of the fact that Cindy had a wrassling match with her new "satchel" purse (and won!) got Vanilla Creme Pneumonia, became known as the next water fountain at Baristas, ate sandwiches as big as our asses (big!), we still had the energy to buy so many items we now have permanent indentations in our fingers from plastic bags...why why why can't the malls have bag boys...you know...that follow you around, wearing loincloths and carrying your bags?
    Seems perfectly logical to me.
    Cindy and I laughed SO much I feel like I've done 500 sit ups.
    I know it's hard to believe.
    But it's twue.

    September 07, 2004

    #1 Reason Why Clinton Needed Heart Surgery

    Too Many Cigars!

    Maybe he should have inhaled instead of impaled!

    #1 Reason Why Clinton Needed Heart Surgery

    Too Many Cigars!
    Maybe he should have inhaled instead of impaled!

    September 05, 2004

    I'm Not Worthy!

    Whoever said Bad Santa was good is an Ass Clown with a capital A! That movie suck suck suckity sucked!

    In other news, my husband was quite romantical on our anniversery and sent me 1 dozen red roses...he even had the florist bring them 1 at a time. Well, they started with 1, then an hour later, 3 more then and hour later 3 more and then...you get the picture. Sweet.

    Then there is me...totally unsweet.

    I actually went shopping the day before our anniversery and like, forgot to get him a gift.

    yah

    I got my moms birthday present, me 2 pair of shoes, everyone else in my family something...except...yah...Mark.

    god

    I positivley reeked of unworthiness...sigh

    I made up for it...in, ya know, other ways...grin...but still...he is one that is difficult to pick up an easy gift for.

    and I rarely leave town...and well, the Thrift shop was closed and Duckballs just couldn't cut the mustard.

    I'll be looking for something outrageous on the internet I suppose.

    Any ideas appreciated...!

    I'm Not Worthy!

    Whoever said Bad Santa was good is an Ass Clown with a capital A! That movie suck suck suckity sucked!
    In other news, my husband was quite romantical on our anniversery and sent me 1 dozen red roses...he even had the florist bring them 1 at a time. Well, they started with 1, then an hour later, 3 more then and hour later 3 more and then...you get the picture. Sweet.
    Then there is me...totally unsweet.
    I actually went shopping the day before our anniversery and like, forgot to get him a gift.
    yah
    I got my moms birthday present, me 2 pair of shoes, everyone else in my family something...except...yah...Mark.
    god
    I positivley reeked of unworthiness...sigh
    I made up for it...in, ya know, other ways...grin...but still...he is one that is difficult to pick up an easy gift for.
    and I rarely leave town...and well, the Thrift shop was closed and Duckballs just couldn't cut the mustard.
    I'll be looking for something outrageous on the internet I suppose.
    Any ideas appreciated...!

    September 04, 2004

    Get Some Bawls!

    Click The Pic For Musak!



    Good Morning Sunshine!

    I'm at the shop and the smell of baking scones and brewing coffee permeates the air and I've got the music cranked and Louie Armstrong is telling me sumpthin. The sun is just coming up and it's a beatuiful tangerine color.
    Now really, I shouldn't regret climbing out of bed to be a witness to dawn. I mean it just cant get better than this can it?
    Well,
    uhhhh
    yah, anyway...