Extra Prayers Please

Alec has surgery on Friday at 2 pm. We will jet up to Children's Hospital tomorrow...maybe just go just half way depending on what time we get out of here. I dread it for my boy. I wish it were me not him. He will have to be no weight bearing for 4 long months and that will be very hard for him. I keep telling myself it could be worse it could be worse it could be worse. I wish it were over. He broke down night before last and cried...something he needed to do. He said that everyone at school thinks he has cancer. We talked it through and he slept all night but it was a long sleepless eternity for me. He still has his baby soft cheeks and occasional lisp. He still plays "pretend". He's my baby. I can hardly stand the thought of him going under anesthesia,being intubated, getting his IV, the antibiotics the fear of a reaction makes me cringe. I can see the Dr making the cut and the sound of the saw...ugh. Being a surgery nurse makes this worse. I hate to think of him getting the bone graft. His poor hip. I can see his anesthesia glazed eyes. I HATE the thought of him waking in the recovery room without me there. I can't talk about it more because I'm getting all sad and worried and I don't have any finger nails left already. Say some prayers and think of him on Friday please.

Shave & A Thighcut

Cindy sent me a couple of pictures of my fat sow self at Christmyass time. I was disgusted and instantly opened the pics up in Paint Shop Pro to shave off a couple of inches...give myself a little digital make over. I made my legs thin and straddled as a saddle sore Miss Rodeo Queen. I made my elbows razer thin and sharp as a knife. I shaved off my chins and cheeks. My unibrow? Gone. My yellowish tinged teeth? White...not just white but ULTRA BRIGHT blinding white! Fat knuckled stubby fingers? Long svelte fingernail polished ring bearing unchewed delicate works of art. Pictures later

Aren't Ya Glad Ya Didn't Ask

Someone asked how I was doing and I said: Except for the fact that my daughter is old enough to have a boyfriend and Alec has to have another surgery and Andrew has a new found love...instant messenger, and my hell hole of a house and my inability to get someone to work on my house and the mountains of laundry and the never ending dish washing and the cat litter needing to be changed and the curtains to be de - cobwebbed and the fat on my ass that is growing by the minute and the grey in my hair...I couldn't be better.

Mucho Macho Baybee

BOXING NEWS... Bojado vrs Clottey In the corner Clottey's trainer says: "You are more macho then him and he is a baybee" while trying to pump his boy up! Yahhh! HE IS A BAYBEE HE IS A BAYBEE NAH NAH NAH NAHHH NYAAAA! I didn't really watch the rest...the trainer spoke in a Jamaican accent and I was giggling the whole time. Damn baybe boxers anyhow! UPDATE Taken from Fight News.com Bojado outpoints Clottey! Who's the most macho now?? Hmmmm?

Busier Than A Cranberry Virgin

Yea baybe...thas me! I mean you know how busy a cranberry virgin can be don't you? Dahum busy. I've: (prepare to be wowed) cleaned out the entry way closet...one Big Assed Bitch with a capital B of a J.O.B too I might add sorted the thousands upon thousands of shoes we as a family own and placed them in containers...His...Hers...Theirs scooped the mud pies out of the corners of 1 room swept and mopped the entry way moved the TV entertainment center out and then away and vaccumed the piles of scum I found there put a different...let's call it an entertainment...lump...in place and replaced all the DVD and VCR and Cables and Stereo hook ups CORRECTLY thank you very much and with the help of my unsuspecting dad...picked up the TV and stuck on the lump. moved 1 million books off of a thing and dusted them off and placed them against a wall to hide scuff marks dusted the lint balls off of my colored glass collection(wine, beer, olives...you get the drift) and even more boring bullshit than this...and this was only from 9:00 until 2:15. Now...I go back to the coffee shop. I do need coffee. Maybe I'll suck on some beans...

I Need a Beer & a Movie & a BackRub

Since I have none of the above... To make myself feel better I'm watching Say Anything. I really wanted to watch Boys On The Side...but it's not on. A list of some of my all time favorite movies in no particular order: Boys on The Side Muriel's Wedding Murphy's Romance Terminator Jeremiah Johnson Quiet Man Side Note got a few poems in a new e-zine called...The Bohemian Rag. I'm not sure I'm a "Bohemian" but I sure as hell know I'm a Rag with a capital R.

Small Town Celebrities

There is a little old gal who goes around town and asks everyone she sees..."Are You Mad?"...or "Is She Mad?"...or "Does He Get Mad?". She's been around as long as I can remember. She is very diminuitive and when I was growing up I used to think she was a young girl who had gray hair because she used to wear kids shoes just like me. This lady goes into about every store in Cambridge and asks her question and then walks home often avoiding the sidewalks and choosing instead to walk in the street (in Cambridge you can get away with doing just that). On high school game days she often sprays her hair to a gleaming orange tint to show her support of the good old Orange and Black. When this gal isn't around you wonder where she is and if she's sick or something because she is always there in her bright yellow parka.

Who's Ya Daddy Bitch

Petie is gonna be a Daddy...maybe. He was asked to perform his manly humpadiddle with a female Boston terrier last week. I've been meaning to get his pickle dejuiced and haven't got around to getting him to the vet yet and I thought...what the hell...let him go on one date...then...WACK...SLICE...eunuchesize him. I guess he got the "deed" done. Sheri (owner of the bitch) informed me that that she had nothing better to do for a couple of days so she would "observe the union" of the dogs and return him to us when Petie had smoked his cigarette, so to speak. You'd have to be pretty desperate to even SAY that you had nothing better to do than spend a couple of days watching to dogs hump each other wouldn't you say?

Worhip Smorship

Went to the funeral of a family friend today. Sure will miss Leon. He was a good and kind man and full of jokes. I still can't believe he's gone. The funeral was a Catholic one. I always think of a performer when I see a Priest at the alter in his finery, chanting, swinging incense and blessings right and left. Don't get me wrong, I thought the service was beautiful and dignified and proper. I think the "sameness" and rituals that make up the Catholic religion make it a comfortable environment to worship. Now...take that and run! I mean it's really all about memorizing and repeating things over and over until the words come out without one even thinking about what they mean. One could even think about something else while chanting I would guess. Is that worshipping?

Freakin' Freaks!

Freakin' Freaks!! A registered sex offender lives in our town (probably several other unknown ones skulking about too). He has lived here for about 9 months but the man is a buzz word now for some reason. People are upset this scum is living here and rightly so I say because...these freaks CANNOT be cured, fixed, rehabilitated...whatever...and SHOULD NOT be allowed to live outside of a jail cell unless they are castrated. I will gladly volunteer to do the job with two bricks and a stick pin...the bricks...you can figure out...WHAM BAM and the nut sack is annihilated...the stick pin...now that is just purely for my entertainment. Those sick freaks should suffer as much as possible. ps...I ran spell check on this and "Freakin'" was a word I was supposed to "replace" and the word I was supposed to replace it with?...Foreskin!

I Need:

I need: new curtains in my "woodstove" room hair dye in becoming fart brown shade fingernails sleep just one more "thing" to do

Sex and Withering Looks

Well, the Teen Books came today and as I unwrapped them Katie was present. I casually handed them to her and said "Here...this is for you take and read of it" and she exclaimed..."Oh my God...is this a sex book?!!" and then "It is!" and as she thumbed through it a "Gross!" at that point I asked if there were pictures and she gave me a withering look and climbed the stairs to her room sans the book. In other news: I worked in surgery today and it was a long day but I enjoyed it. When I was about done I called down to the shop and asked my Aunt how things were going and if they needed help cleaning up and she said (or so I thought) "We've been busier than a cranberry virgin" I was a bit astonished but laughed nonetheless. Later, Slat Ass(my cuz) told me she thought her mom was saying "Cranberry Merchant"...duh...I liked the virgin one better...hee hee hee

New Look...but oddly I'm getting a bizarre pop up add...from...somewhere...damn...sorry people...I'll try to snare it and pull it's little teeth out when I have more time to fiddle with the html. In other news...I did NOT burn myself with the curling iron today! (patting self on back)

Well here I go. Been up most all night cause Katie and Mark had a bit of a battle last evening and then when I went to talk to her about how she possibly could have avoided the battle by following the rules and a quick tip on "attitude" and so on and so on we began to have a bit of a battle and then I was upset and she was upset and it took awhile to smooth that over and then when I did fall asleep for a few hours that's when Mark came trooping up the stairs to go to bed and I've always been one who is instantly awake when the door moves or I hear a weird noise and so...ta daa! I'm awake! I tried to go downstairs and lay on the couch but I kept watching the neighbors house expell steam and I told myself that yes it was steam NOT a fire and then I just got up and got on the computer because I want a new skin for my site because I like this one, but really...the java script is annoying and I just want another one and well I couldn't find one at my usual haunts like Blogfrocks, Joyful Hearts, Full Moon or Registry of Design and Tart Graphics is still closed and so instead I went to Amazon and bought a couple new coffee table books for our living room - "Positive Discipline for Teenagers: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting" and the ever popular "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: Expanded Third Edition : A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships" and then I got the Animal House DVD for Mark for his birthday(groundhogs day), and a pair of 3 axe handle and a cigar box wide jeans for my ass, and a few undies and a bra for Katie and now I'm getting hungry. Plus...my house smells like maple syrup. I hope those books come soon. Like double quick airfarking mail please and thank you very much. shit

I uhhhh...burned my hand...not by baking scones, or rolls, or turnovers but by dropping my curling iron...again. double duh That's all I'm going to say about that.

Sad news and good news go together I guess. Mark and I had to do a whirlwind trip to Fort Fun Iowa on Tuesday as his mother was in ER with chest pain. While we were on the road we heard she had 2 stents put in. Seven hours later we were there and Darlene looked pretty good and we were thankful. All Mark's sisters and brother were there and we spent the night at Darlene's house seeing in the new year. Mostly we yawned and struggled ot stay awake until midnight. A bizarre and sad fact we discussed was that 19 years ago to the date was the day Mark's dad was buried. We were all glad we were not there for something such as that. The next day we felt we could head home as Mark's brother and wife were going to stay for awhile, then a sister and so on. Before we left town for Iowa we'd heard that a friend of ours who had been battling brain cancer had died after a year and a half battle...and I mean battle. Tim never lost his sense of humor though. He always joked about his being forgetful and only having "half a brain". We will miss you Tim. Another family friend was sent to Lincoln with a heart ailment last night but we could find no one to help us find him. We searched every floor and then we decided we had to get home. What a way to start the new year. I hope this isn't a sign of times to come.