ONE...TWO...THREE...I'm OUT!

My youngest son just informed me that when he wants to grow up he wants to be a professional "rassler". ? This, coming from the boy who when he was 5, watched CNN on a regular basis and obsessed about the Presidential election constantly. Who once declared that he admired Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King equally. This from the boy who, when I suggested he go shoot baskets or play outside instead of watch the news all the time told me that he was "Exercising his mind" and instantly mollified me. Now, my boy's life revolves around Wrestling Icons like Chris Benoit and...others and I even caught a glimpse of RAW Diva once on the tube...now THAT, I fear. I guess I should of known he would take me for a wild ride when he said, once upon a time when he was very, very young, "Mom, what if I were an actor and let's just say I had to play a part where I had to wear an earing, would you still love me?" Yes Alec, I will, even if you are a professional wrassler...you will be loved! Oye

Shirley K's Tavern...pass the beer!

Well, we just watched the giant joint be blown out by a young girl on the olympics...errr...well, that's what the torch looked like to Mark and I. Too bad the olympics are over. Moving right along though...I had something funny happen Saturday morning at the coffee shop. Shauna answered the phone in the middle of a huge rush and I caught a few words like, "No, I don't think so" and "No" and "I don't know what you are talking about" and then she hung up and between making swirlies and shakes and coffee and putting rolls on plates and washing dishes she said that the caller had been an older woman who seemed indignant on the other end. The woman asked rather angerly why Shirley K's Coffee Shop had changed their name to Shirley K's Tavern and when Shauna replied that we hadn't and that she didn't know what the caller was talking about, the woman hung up. Odd. Anyway, about noon I answered the phone and it was, again, an older woman who sounded pissy and she asked "Do you serve liquer drinks at your shop?". I wanted to say "No, but could you bring me one?" but thought that might be rude so I just explained we did not, and the lady hung up. Now I was curious. I remembered that we had served Shirley K's Tavern Burgers on Friday and then I figured out that our daily special add was probably still on the TV and perhaps confusing people. I like to think that perhaps these older ladies were really wanting a Funky Cold Medina from Shirley K's Tavern NOT wanting to run me out of town. But who knows.

Sno Fro Ho

Surprisingly, I am not writing this from beneath a pile of shaved ice. Another surprising fact...I'm able to write at all. I'm extremely tired. As a matter of fact if there was a reality based show called "Extreme Tiredness" I would qualify and perhaps take the jackpot! Thanks to a lot of help from family, friends and a person I like to call Jackass, Old Fashioned Saturday night was a success and fun was had by all! We made something called Sno Fro for a quarter. It was a "bigger than my ass" sno cone garnished with fruit kabobs and we made over 200 of them. I never saw the face of a customer. My back was turned the whole time while I made Sno Fro's, Happy Days Shakes, The Fonz Shakes, Chuck Berry Swirlies, Rock Around the Clock Swirlies and the whole gamut of our 50's days drink menu. There was sno cone syrup from ceiling to floor covering every available surface with a sticky glue. It sounded like we were walking on velcro. Afterwards, we (meaning Mark) moved all the furniture out of the coffee shop and mopped the sticky floor. Nothing is back in there yet because it was 12:30 when we were done and I for one had been there since 6 am and was EXHAUSTED! Now, I need to get back there and start "redoing" the shop. ugh Let the games begin!

Old Fashioned Saturday Night

We've been preparing for this event for awhile now and I'm ready for it...to be OVER...I'm a tired old broad. In any case...come down tonight and get a SNO - FRO...my new item. Like a snow cone...only, of course, BETTER!!!! In other news...Na(d)tlie is still hanging around and today I got sucked into letting her into the house again...although...I made another litter box. She used it. I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER CAT. I wonder if my friend Jo Jo the dancing turd ball would be able to sell Nads on E-bay? Jo would make a good used car salesman. She has already sold...get this...6 cow skulls on E-bay. Now what kind of a person would BUY a cow skull? good grief...it seemed only yesterday she was computer illiterate. sigh...how they do grow up.

P.S.

I forgot to mention the cat "thing" that just adds to the mess of my day. The other day a kitty came to visit our house. A gray stray with a stubbed tail. Pickles was mortified and hateful and full of hisses and pissed as hell. Katies friend Nate mentioned he wanted to call the cat...Nads...I decided to call her...Nad(t)le. Anyway...we do NOT need another cat...but of course, I fed the thing. One week later she has a nest on our fence and occasionally comes in to eat(when the door is open too long). Last night she must have snuck in and slept inside because when I got home around 11 am today...I smelled something. And it wasn't roses. I thought at first it was stinky Petey...but no. It was a pile of steaming cat shit...in my living room. Now I KNOW Pickles would not do that. If there was only 1 grain of kitty litter in the pan she would seek it out and shit on that. It had to be Natlie. I found her cute little kitty ass and threw her outside with several LOUD threats of "You are DONE here little Miss Kitty!" and "Don't come back here you little stinking sack of poop!". Later on, as I was tucking Alec in and telling him the reason Natlie had to GO and couldn't come back, Pickles was just lying there on the bed with this smug look on her face. (?)

It's Been a Calgon Take Me The Hell Away, Michelob Ultra You Are SCREAMING My Name Kind of Day

Well, Alec got a GREAT Dr. report yesterday. The bone graft is healing and he is released to do...ANYTHING! The Dr. did say that the tumor could come back but this is the first time Alec has been really and truly(he has always been hard to keep un-active) released since his first surgery around 3 years ago! Whoo Hoo!!! He is one happy camper!! At least someone is around this house. Here is day in a NUTshell...I got up at 5 am and went to "make the donuts", left the shop in the care of a couple of girls around 11 and sped up to Walmart. When I got out of the vehicle, I almost passed out and luckily made it to the entryway and managed to sit down on a bench. I don't know why this happened, but anyway, who cares...I pretended to look for something in my purse until I could feel my legs and could see and then I went shopping. Of course I forgot everything because I felt like ass then...so therefore, my day began to steep into blackness. Little did I know it was picking up speed, headed for a cliff and the eject button wasn't in working order. Andrew was/is grumpy because I told him he needs to be sure and pack deoderant in his football bag(durrrr mom) and then I wondered out loud if he had 2 deoderants because God knows he could probably stand to use one in the morning...I mean those poor teachers...phewwww and well,he DID forget to pack SHORTS on his first day of football practice and had to practice in 100 degree weather in brand new blue jeans remember, and well, he is 13 and need I say more? Katie is grumpy and hates me because, get this, I always argue with her (well, durrrr Katie) What mother wouldn't ground her child if that child called her own flesh and blood mother...straight to her face...A BITCH!!! CHEESE AND RICE!!!!!!!!!!! Mark thinks I'm crabby all the time too and wonders when the time is coming that I am NOT going to be CRABBY... Well, guess what Mark...I AM FUCKING CRABBY ALL THE FUCKING TIME! and guess what? I'M FUCKING THINKING I'M GOING TO BE FUCKING CRABBY FOR THE FUCKING REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE!! CAN YOU FUCKING COMPREHEND THAT FUCKING SITUATION?!

Time Flies When You Are Having...somthing

I saw something outside on my deck this morning and it resembled something that startled me...an Autumn leaf. It was, in fact, a yellow Hawthorn leaf. good grief! Already?

It Is TOO Rocket Science Damnit!

Since that "It doesn't take a rocket scientist" comment, I've done a little research on that phrase and I thought you might be interested to hear that there are LOTS of things that don't require a rocket scientist's massive, wrinkled cranium to function. Here now, is a list of some of those thing. COMPOSTING - IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! By Carolyn Herriot The "It's Not Rocket Science" Guide to Casual Encounters Rocket Scientist Accidentally Says "It's Not Rocket Science" By Simmy Kustanowitz Quite a few peeps don't use condoms because they're scared they'll be laughed at if they can't get one on. But hey, it's not rocket science! Psychotherapy Is Not Rocket Science and finally...blintz making is not rocket science

To The Moon Alice!

The other day someone remarked to me, "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to run a coffee shop"...and I can't let it go. Every time I grind the morning coffee, put the freight away, order my supplies, make labels and plan menus and so on I can hear that voice, that statement...and it not only pisses me off but it makes me ask myself, "What am I doing?" and "Should I be running a coffee shop instead of what I went to college for?". I've got to make a decision about my nursing career soon. Nursing isn't something, in my opinion, that you can stay out of for a while and then come back into it without a problem. There are always procedures that change, equipment that changes, new medications to learn and I feel like the only way to stay on top of things is to be working and learning and perfecting your skills at the very minimum - part time. Points I'm Pondering a) I love what I'm doing now. b) I miss the "gore" of nursing...like blood draws, IV pokes, wound care...etc...you get the picture. c) I'm not on call d) If I did both jobs...how could I do both jobs and do either of them well? Of course there are many other issues that need to be considered as well, really too many to list. I'm just trying to sort everything out and make the best decision for me and my family. and IF I EVER HEAR ANYONE SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN! KaPLOW!...To the Moon Alice!!!

Bull . . . frog!

This info taken from Southwest Nebraska News It's Bullfrog season in Nebraska! whooo whoo! Fishing regulations stipulate that bullfrogs must be taken by hand, hand net or hook and line. This allows them to be taken unharmed(yah...cuz that is soooo important up until the time you knock them on the head), so that frogs which don't stretch to the legal size limit of 4 � inches from snout to vent can be released in good health. Nebraskas bag and possession limit is eight frogs per person(only eight?). Nebraska law allows froggers to transport their catch alive or gutted, but the frogs body must be left intact during transport (okay...how can the body be left intact AND gutted?). Froggers must have a current Nebraska fishing license and an Aquatic Habitat Stamp to take bullfrogs. These can be purchased online from the Nebraska Game and Parks Commissions web site at www.outdoornebraska.org, from a Game and Parks office, or any of some 900 permit vendors across the state.

Wonder Bread Bookarific!

I've just been reading Good Grief by Lolly Winston for the second time(though NOT dying my hair and drinking an Ultra Michelob...rats). It's another one of those "sad" stories that I love to read and the type all my friends hate. They seem to read mysteries. romances, beer labels, the occasional milk carton and Suz always reads those humpy love stories. Sort of like Harlequin Romance goes porn. Anyway, the best I can describe this book is that it like eating a peanut butter sandwich on Wonder bread. Even though it's about grief it is soft, comforting and the taste lingers, but soothingly so. I love how this author uses small details to make her characters real. I'm going to have to look up some of her other books. I just finished Running With Scissors; Dry; and Sellevision. Running and Dry were interesting but, even for me, (I know you will all laugh at this) a bit too crude for my taste. ha ahahahahah I know very funny ha ha. I will probably only read them twice. Sellevision was funny and odd...always a plus for my tastes! Well, time for bed cuz tomorrow...i gotta make the donuts!

And Now For Something Completely Different

Shelley Carlson's Real Name Is Essence of sheer vile Herpesmonkey! What's yours?

New Olympic Sport

Click the pic to watch an interesting video from MSN. Wait for the add...then observe!

A Pictures Worth

A picture I took of Alec along with the story behind it is posted on A Pictures Worth.

Perk They Ears

Listen now, to the mating call of the Moscow Mule IT'S FRIIIDDDDAAAYYYYY I know, I know, that was yesterday...but hey, I forgot to post it yesterday.

Cold, Bald, Green Tomatoes

People, it's COLD outside and it's only August...uhhnnmmm...let's see...oh yah...August 12th. Dahum. What is goin' on? I haven't even had a ripe tomato from my garden yet! My cat Pickles, is looking like a raccoon her fur is so thick. Petey, our rat terrier, shivers ALL the time now. I noticed a few hairs on my own self where I wish I didn't have hairs, Am I too, getting ready for a rough winter? Will I grow a winter coat on my legs thicker than the one on my head? Really, that wouldn't take much. Fact: I wash my hair every morning. Fact: I have been using a motel shampoo bottle for about 3 months now...and I STILL have some left. Now THAT is a sign of some sort. And I don't mean a good one either. Unless good is bald.

Slow Ass Blog

I had to work out a few glitches in this template. Now, maybe, it won't be as slow as I am. dur

Hurl a Whirl Girl

The days seem to be blurring. Like that carnival ride that takes you around and around in circles and then spins you around backwards so fast that everything is, well, a blur, and you feel nauseated and wish to God that you hadn't had that foot long with extra relish and chili, a large diet Pepsi and a half cooked blommin' onion and when you finally get the carneys attention, green in the face with drool halfway down your shirt, and he grins evil and sends you on just one more sonic blasting whirl before he slams you to a stop, and you stumble off and fall in a heap beside the merry go round with that damn sugary sweet music playing over and over and over and over and everyone is standing over you with big wide eyes and you can't quite make out what they are saying but you can hear the laughter in s l o w m o t i o n and you...but I digress. Anyway, time is passing and yet I feel like I'm stuck in one place. Do you ever feel that way?

No More Oops I Shemahpans

Okay now who doesn't need...THIS?

J E L L O baby

I am SO craving THIS Instead I had a black cherry jello shot. dahum! I've never had one before...and let me tell you somfin...they is guud! I was just minding my own business and suddenly it was like May Day. I heard a knock and there was someone at the door with a tray of jello shots...only I didn't have to run to catch them. My neighbor was on her way to a street dance and just decided to drop one off for me. Awwwww They could be a dangerous addition to Friday Night Follies!

Welcome To Our Show

Tonight Cindy Sue and I decorated Shelley Belley's office. We are the creators of a new show called Get Drunk and Decorate Someone Else's Office While They are in the Bathroom. Her office will be a fashion do. Soon...she will be famous and travel to many beautiful places such as Cincinnati and Holbrook showing others photo's of her fabulous office "redo" and garnering us more "redo" jobs than we can handle! Perhaps Cindy and I will give up the coffee life and become fancy smancy reality show TV hostess's. Whatttt? It could happen.

Calgon!!!!

Well, I found 2 dollars in the dryer and a packet of Liptons Onion soup in the pantry but I had no clean underwear so...here I am.

Doo Wrap & a Big Stick

If ever there were a day I wished I were... A) fanatically religious(Tammy Faye style) B) an oblivious alcoholic(Tammy Faye style) C) insanely institutionalized(One Flew Over The Cuckoo Nest style) D) (really) a cold hearted bitch(hmmm...too many to list) E) a jar of almonds it was today. Have you ever had one of those days where as soon as you got home from work you started thinking about how it be if got your blue and white bandana out, packed it with 1 change of underwear, 5 bucks, a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup, a pocket knife and a box of matches, tied it securely around a long smooth stick and just started walking? Well, tonight I got the bandana out. I'm still contemplating. So far...