I love to eat, as from my posts you can tell. With me perhaps it's an obsession. The feel, the smell, the taste...it's all involved in the process of taking in nourishment. In fact, I'd say if it wasn't food it would be something else. Smoking, boozing, sexing, exercising...you get the picture. What does that smack of? Some Freudian oral fixation thing I'm certain of. Anyway, I'm aware of it.
I am not thin(by a long shot) but I'm not totally gargantuan. I'm not actually circus lady yet. But I'll tell you a secret. I once craved to be circus lady fat. Wouldn't that be the bomb? A huge giant soft mass of lovelerly marshmallow sweet fatness? Eating at swill...errrr I mean at will? Maybe not...grin after all I am a nurse and I have taken care of fat peoples...fat does not usually equal sweetness (smell etc) but it's just the thought of all that eating!!
I once was thin. When I was at nursing school I exercised religiously, running, weight lifting, jazzersize...I ate as little as I could get by on...and that was sometimes a handful of raisins and a cup of rice...not good eating habits at all. I realized I was thin one day when I went from the tub to a chair and sat down. You know when you sit down and there is a bit of fat that is sometimes called a spare tire? Well, I didn't have that...in fact, I had nothing there...no fat at all...not even a tiny bit! Could not even pinch...anything!! I could hear this trumpet play and my eyes get wide and it was suddenly like...goal achived...GAME OVER. I soon got back up to my "normal" weight and when I could afford it...my normal eating patterns. So why am I telling you all this?
I don't really fucking know. Just listen to this gross song.