June 14, 2005

No that was NOT a train...it was my STOMACH !

Okay, since I've returned from BRAN I've been hungry. Seriously hungry. Not just a tiny graw that makes you think, maybe a sandwich. This is like, I'M HUNGRY FOR 2 BACON LETTUCE AND TOMATO SANDWICHES AND A LARGE HELPING OF CHEESY POTATOES GO HEAVY ON THE CHEESE AND A BIG ASS SALAD WITH MANGO PINEAPPLE DRESSING PLUS THROW IN A COUPLE OF BANANA CREAM CREAM PUFFS FOR A SWEET THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND PUT LEGS ON THAT WILL YOU AND CAN I LIKE HAVE THAT NOW!?!
2 hours later: I'd like a BAG of red licorice, 4 nutri grain bars, a milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top and a piece of cherry pie please
2 hours later: I wanna hamburger, cheeseburger, lettuce and tomato, a baked ham bone and a French fried potato, a hot dog, chili dog barbecue mustard and a pickle and a mountain dew!
2 hours later: got any pork rinds, tapioca pudding or steak handy?
You get the picture. I am going to have to resort to something desperate and pathetic soon...posting a picture of my soon to be increasing ass on the fridge, the pantry door and on every cafe, diner and fast food joint door within the next 100 mile radius with the caption: If you see this woman AND her ass DO NOT I repeat DO NOT allow her to order food, eat food or coerce anyone else to get her food, she is to be apprehended and taken to the nearest health club immediately and put to work!

ps...anybody got a pretzel?

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