July 18, 2005

Don't Try This At Home Kids!

Have you ever drank/drunk...(what is the correct grammar I wonder) Mountain Dew through your nose...Accidentally OR on purpose?
I did and I don't recommend it to anyone. The taste is not augmented by filtering through nose hairs as one might believe. The tingling of the nares leaves MUCH to be desired and the pretty picture one makes afterwards is, well, in a word or two, NOT PRETTY. The soda running out of your nose in rivulets, eyes watering, the gushy phlegmy cough and the slight gag make this something to laugh at when someone else does it and that's about it. It's all my daughters fault. She bought me a LITER of Diet mountain Dew(my other favorite drink) on Saturday after that hellicious swim meet. I'm still drinking on it today...or I was...a LITER of pop can last me quite some time...but give me a LITER of Michelob...hmmmmmm I'll get back to you on that! You may not have noticed this but a LITER of Mountain Dew has a mouth on it the size of an elephants asshole. Anyway, as I attempted to take a sip of the warmish, fizzless pop this morning, my TINY mouth could not prevent a leakage of Dew fluid. You guessed it...that soda poured out of my TINY mouth and shot up my unsuspecting nose like a Yellowstone geyser!
I would call it a nasal colonic sort of thing. Lesson learned...no Liters of pop for me...just beer!

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