It had to be done. He was beginning to look like The Homeless Boy. I'm not done yet, not by a longshot, but I did get his ears cleaned out, hair washed (with shampoo) and conditioned (with conditioner) and toenails inspected.
Of course it was all by sheer luck and surprise I discovered that he'd forgotten to lock the bathroom door while taking a Mr Bubble bath with what could have been my last drop of dish soap. I crept in with a shampoo bottle firmly in hand, squirted it from a distance of 10 feet and without missing a mark scrubbed his head before he knew what hit him. I know, I know, he is a little old for that but lately I've been wondering if he was using...something...like lotion to wash his hair with. He firmly denied this of course but...still...something wasn't looking right. I used my time with him wisely...This is a bottle of shampoo!, I crowed and THIS is a bottle of lotion, I explained. He just glared at me and after the washing...I left with him still sputtering, I know that Mom....goshhh! Later as I smelled his baby soft hair and rubbed lotion on his back he gave me a sleepy smile and I...quick grabbed a nail file and filed down his evil barbed wire nails!
Now...if only I can find my hair scissors...for a midnight trim...mwahahahahahaha