July 31, 2005

If My Books Could Talk...and some whining

When did I get so old that the heels of my feet started to turn into cracked flayed leather?
Why do hairs grow places they shouldn't? and in the wrong color?
Where does one store a spare tire when ONE DOESN'T FUCKING WANT ONE AROUND HER WAIST!? Why can't I just not like to eat??? Why? Why? Why? If only I liked to smoke, or jog or ummmm masturbate maniacally instead.
If only...sigh...
In Other News:
The garage sale is over and done thank God. Mark and our kids ran our side of it and there were several other groups gathered at our house as well. We have a good spot...near the highway and a deck over part of our drive to protect from the searing heat. I got rid of a lot of books which I'm glad I wasn't there to see. I hate to part from my books. They are like my pets. Most of them looked 100 years old due to the fact that I drop them in the tub so damn often. Well, it's hard to turn a page with a Michelob in one hand and a bottle of Clairol in the other. Anyay, I suddenly remembered something my mother told me a while ago that cracks me up every time. We were talking about books or something and I asked her, Did I read a lot in the tub when I was young? She got this incredulous look on her face and exclaimed, Honey, you had the cleanest ass in town!

1 comment:

tj said...

ugh, i'm getting hair places i don't want it too. and my spare tire? it's more like a spare CAR. *cries*