1) My fat did not dissolve overnight nor did it disperse in an attractive way...in fact it appears to have settled in, unpacked bags and put it's feet up on the good coffee table like an unwanted house guest, alerted the post office to send it's mail to my address and invited friends over to partay
2) My hair did not grow
3) My dog Petie the Pisser needs his toenails clipped, especially that one dew claw one that curves in on itself and I hate to trim it because I always clip a little toe meat too
4) I have 5 pear tomatos on the vine...ripe
5) I'm out of beer
6) I'm a tired old bag and it shows
7) My ice machine at work is a BAS-TURD!