August 05, 2005

Hopping and Hoping

Everytime I sit down to blog it's like my life...hurry up get it done move it faster faster faster and I just jot notes and like I should really care I guess. Anyway, I was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest today and I'm beat.
Life is good.
But:
My kids are growing up before my blood shot eyes...seemingly without me there every minute offering up my sage advice.
I worry they will hold it against me at some time and say, That's why I did that thing I did because YOU weren't around to steer me clear!...or...You were making donuts for someone and you weren't looking, or Why weren't you home to tell me what to do...or worst of all...Mom, I needed you...or even worse than that...Mom, I DON'T need you. I know that my kids are growing up independent and I should be so happy that they will be able to function in the real world. But sometimes it leaves me feeling left out AND not needed and I hate that.
God...parenting is the hardest job I've ever attempted. It's just like being a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest...Every minute of every hour of evvery day of your life.

2 comments:

tj said...

no kidding eh? where's the fricking MANUAL for raising kids?!

Jenny said...

I hear you. This is why I do the happy/sad crying.