TV Night!

I was just cruising the TV stations while the bratwurst was simmering in a big pile of sauerkraut when I suddenly found our perfect supper show. On National Geographic Channel...right after The Man Who Slept For 19 Years (which really...who could tell anyway with most men...bada bing!) What is it you ask with baited breath? Face Eating Tumor! yah baby...Face Eating Tumor while we eat braats and sauerkraut...which by the way will remain uneaten anyway because I KNOW my kids won't eat them even without watching Face Eating Tumor. It just doesn't matter now though because the perk will be that we can all watch Face Eating Tumor together! yah...It's gonna be a good night after all...sigh

Not Just For Funky Cold Medina's Introducing:

Banana Hammock Curacao, blue 1/3 shot J�germeister 1/3 shot Liqueur, banana 1/2 shot Ouzo 1/3 shot Rum, coconut 1/2 shot Cherries/Maraschinos 2 whole Glass to use: Cocktail glass Mixing instructions: Chill ingredients. Shake everything except curacao in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass. Carefully add chilled blue curacao. Garnish with 2 cherries. recipe from Drinknation

Potential Dash Blogging Subjects

#1)School boards should not be made up of "civilians" who work on the "outside" of the (school) "system", instead, School Boards should be made up of teachers, ignoramus's (or is that ignoranus's?), and pee drinking crap faces (you know who you are) because 1a)they know best and if you don't agree with what they say fuck you and look at this petition that everyone signed that proves what I say goes...Long Live Democracy by Petition! 2b)see above #2)School boards should be elected by rock, paper scissors...best of 3 (or...worst...doesn't really matter) #3)Ignorance...An Epidemic We Can Avoid OR...Ignorance...Encoded in the DNA...Entwined In The Very Fabric of Life...There Is No Escape...in other words...it runs in the family and the family is like a bad case of athletes foot and there just aint no use fightin' it cuz it's just gonna come back over and over and over and over again.

Dash Blog Is Back!

Sort of...I don't have time to tweak the template now but hopefully I'll get everything back on track soon. The moon is soooo pretty tonight. It was this morning in the wee hours too. Something I love...to sit with a cup of coffee in the shop, brimming with bakery smells and watch the sunrise. If I could just leave the damn scones alone. I've actually been drinking green tea, hoping for a miracle cure for fat assness. Hasn't worked yet. I'm weighing myself every Tuesday in hopes of loss and today I report...1 fucking pound. gah I can gain 5 pounds overnight so that is NOT ENOUGH! I wonder if I could just get my mouth sewn shut for a week. Maybe that could sort of jump start my dieting. I'm going to do some research on that soon.

New Blog Log

I've started a new blog called Bike Miles where I'm going to keep track of, you guessed it, bike miles on the road bike. It will be a summery of my rides and a log of miles. Gotta get in shape for the next B.R.A.N. (bike ride across Nebraska) coming up in June. I know I know, June is a ways away. But I'm sure it will take me that long to log in 300 miles and that is what I want to do, at least. I hope I'll be able to walk tomorrow. We went 23 miles but I haven't ridden for awhile so it was a bit difficult. I feel pretty good so far.

Spasm...Spasm...Spasm

I've been awake since about 4:30...a.m. I woke up after several weird dreams. 1) I was swimming across an ocean...alone later another dream 2) Shelley was going to open a "place" working M-W-F that sold cinnamon rolls and coffee in "her town" in a clothing store window front and she was making brownies with olive oil and I wasn't going to tell her that they tasted like ASS those are my awesome dreams so far...in other news: When I woke up my left shoulder hurt sooo bad I couldn't breathe. It's been bugging me about a week or so and before bed last night Mark, probably sick of my whining, plastered a Bengay icy hot patch around my trapezius...no that isn't a sex thing, it's a muscle. I don't know if that damn patch loosened up that muscle but now it is having frequent SPASMS! (course I could take a Motrin, but that would require getting up, turning on a light, finding the med then drinking water and I just haven't worked up to it yet...durrr) I've spent about an hour surfing the blogs I link to and attempt to read during the week. I laughed I cried I made a music CD. Now, I feel a snack and movie coming on. By the way...I watched Napoleon Dynamite the other night(2 times in a row)...I LOVE IT! I think my daughter is totally embarrassed. She stated, in disbelief, "Mom, your favorite movies are Mean Girls, Legally Blonde and now...Napoleon Dynamite?" When I said, "Yahhhhh, those are some of my favorites, is that wrong?" She was like, yaauhhh and laughing at me. Ahhh well

Do You Know A Doofangle?

I do I do...See if you know one too. Check out the meaning below: . doofangle 1. Someone of lower mental capacity.2. A person considered to be foolish or socially inept. 3. A person who wanders around town with his underwear on outside of his jeans and/or shirts on inside out. I was at the post office when this doofangle wandered in; He tried to put a trout in the Out of Town mail and his ball huggers had skid marks on them. definition from The Urban Dictionary

Do You Know a Doofangle?

I do I do...See if you know one too. Check out the meaning below: . doofangle 1. Someone of lower mental capacity.2. A person considered to be foolish or socially inept. 3. A person who wanders around town with his underwear on outside of his jeans and/or shirts on inside out. I was at the post office when this doofangle wandered in; He tried to put a trout in the Out of Town mail and his ball huggers had skid marks on them. definition from The Urban Dictionary

Dear Emily, Sexy Sitting Down To Supper Etiquette(?)

I've been wondering what to write about because, frankly, my mind is gone. I'm losing it. I've nothing left there except a few dusty deformed cells spinning spinning helplessly inside a vacuum. I thought I'd type about the IMPORTANCE OF SITTING DOWN TO supper 1)it's about food 2)it was the first thing I thought of 3)I thought it would be easy to find info about So I typed that phrase in google and the fifth article, which is the first title I saw, included the phrase Balls and Dances. As my eyes scanned the title I knew better yet my gut reaction was...this is an article about sex. Sex instead of supper...hmmmm or maybe both, together...sigh As soon as I thought it...I knew better. It's really from an Emily Post article about, yah, dancing and balls and etiquette(of which I have none) So sad my mind is gone...and there are witnesses.

Espessing Myself

I've been talking till I'm blue in the face, and isn't THAT an improvement, about coffee shops and drink recipes, and espresso machines and closing instructions, and hiring and bills and monthly reports and inventory and decor and cups and tea and beans and...damn I'm tired! I think Teresa has learned many things some of which I hope will be useful to her! Too tired to write much...Andrew has a game tomorrow and Teresa is leaving tomorrow due to an ice storm and snow expected in her part of Iowa coming in on Friday.

Watch Out Kid You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

Marks sister is here for the week to learn all about coffee shops. She is going to open one up in her little neck of the woods in Iowa.She is staying in our "little" house next door. Just yesterday Mark came into our house with the bathtub faucet thingy in his hand.He had removed it as it has been broken for weeks and NOW he decided to 'fix" it.YahOkay.He attempted to buy the part in a Pamida yesterday after we went to Alec's B Ball game...no luck. He went to McCook early this amand attempted to buy the part at Walmart, he did, and guess what...it doesn't fit!huh...what a surprise....I mean, do you remember when Mark attempted to fix our toilet with a wrench and ended up breaking the old porcelain bowl, litterally wearing the contents of the toidy on his face?burned into my mind Anyhooo...Teresa is here and the tub can shoot your eye out at 50 paces. It's got a stream like a Russian Race Horse!It could bore a hole through your scalp. Other than that, it works!I knew it was going to be bad when Mark came stomping into the house cussing and asking, "Where's the duct tape?".Teresa said she was quite happy with dunking her head in the sink...to bad that stream is like that of a 90 year old man's.

Good Call!

I want our girls basketball coach to name a play "Doo Dah" because I think it would be so funny to hear him yelling "Doo Dahhh Doo Dahhh" on the sideline.

A Bully Brief

All cruelty springs from weakness." (Seneca, 4BC-AD65) A Bully aka A Group of Bully(s): uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives is financially irresponsible and often has a bad credit rating uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance - in reality, these are for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power is often like a child who has never grown up exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are: an inability to tolerate minor frustrations a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's called lying

Wonderful New (to me) CD Site

I sat down at the computer and thought...man, I should really post something, you know, maybe smart, important and thought provoking. Something informative. Maybe do a little research and "report" something besides my usual life. So...I pulled up google and sat for a moment, thinking about a topic that would be worthwhile. Nothing normal appealed to me (surprise) so I finally settled on, cowlick. I thought I could research types of hair, the why's the how's...something. Anyway, the first site that popped up was The Cowlicks which is a band. Of course I clicked it and I liked the music. Then, through exploring, I found a link to CD Baby which I LOVE! I usually use Amazon to buy CD's...perhaps no more. Check out CD Baby...it's great!

I Saw Elvis Holding The Fat Lady's Hand

Some people have toooo much time on their hands. I think you all know who you are...and so does everyone else. I have one thing to say...I know, odd for me, here it is... GROW UP, MOVE ON, GET OVER IT The election is OVER....The fat lady has sung her song and Elvis has left the building. Surely you people have more important fish to fry. Maybe a life to live. GET ON WITH IT! Don't waste precious minutes of your life by filling it with anger. Good grief, do you know how much energy you are expending on, when it comes right down to it, bullshit? Ridiculously large amounts. Don't do it. Why make yours and others lives miserable. That can't be making you feel very good inside. I know it doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling. Visit your children, read a book, work your job, feed your fish, make a gourmet meal for your soul mate. Take a long hike down a short pier, catch a few rays, count your blessings. Take stock of the good things in your life...and if there isn't anything good...take a step back and ask yourself why there isn't...and if you still can't figure it out...ask me. I'd be glad to fill you in.

Nothing Beats Classical Music and a Pretty View

CLICK turn speakers on, take a deep breath and relax to a Romantic Flamenco by Amir... Frosted Trees & Vines after the foggy night

Isn't It Ironic?

Weird, just today, some select people of this town received a letter...Yes, anonymous, of course all about school board bullshit...And yet, not really about anything at all. Just another ignoramus abusing a poor innocent piece of paper. The school board meeting is tormorrow. Reeeaalllyyy...Who knew.

Movie Minute With Me!

Here is a list of my favorite movies. That means that when I see that one of them is on the telly...I want to watch it...all of it. Now who can tell me how they are all alike? Because I can't seem to figure out the theme of my bizarre list. Shawshank Wizard of Oz Quiet Man Kill Bill 1 Pulp Fiction The Nun Story Muriels Wedding Jerimiah Johnson Grace of my Heart Heartburn Boogie Nights ...ps...no this isn't on here because of the giant schlong at the end of the move...although...hmmmm

I Want to To Party With Merriam!

For some reason, when I ran onto the audio online Merriam Webster Dictionary(via The Sneeze), I bagan to think about those "annonymous" letter writers that once upon a time, pissed me off. Remember that? Remember the one that said I was vulgar (moi?) and blah blah blah? I keep thinking, Yeah, me and Merriam you click click

Surprise!

Remember when I said Alec was doing the laundry and loving it and what a great little helper he was and how he might have been using more fabric softener than soap but it just didn't matter because he was being sooo thoughtful and sweet? Remember that? Well, today I went to put a load of laundry in, while I stopped off home to bring the kids a lunch, and something between the drier and washer caught my eye. You know, in that bastard crevice where things accumulate like that one sock, pantyhose, nickles, clothing tags, straight pins, and the OCCASIONAL GIGANTIC MASS OF CONGEALED MASSIVE WORLD RECORD SETTING BALL OF DRIER LINT that Alec thoughtfully tossed there, time after time after time after time until it became almost lifelike. In fact, when I noticed it sitting there, I think it winked at me. It winked at me alright, it did until I got a broomstick and shoved it's ass into the trash can!

X's For Eyes

Do you ever just get hungry for Italian bread, hot pastrami, mayo, mustard,onion and a thick wedge of lettuce? I am SO craving that, right now, at 10:50...b a d idea...b a d idea...too bad I have all the ingredients, just sitting there, calling out to me...damn On another note...remember at around 6 am when I was wondering, "Where is that storm?" Well, we got it! It's still snowing out and colder than a coal miners ass out there! No school today and no school tomorrow. Yep, the kids were HOME ALONE today...and yes, my house is still standing. Petie was a good boy and didn't piss on the wall or carpet or anything either. It's a good thing he didn't or ol' Pissin' Pete would be a three legged snowdog beautifying my front lawn. Well, maybe I'll go make a sandwich, take a bath, dye my hair and pop open a Mich...chuhhhh and monkey's might fly outta my ASS too. If I drank even 1/2 a Mich tonight, I'd have x's for eye's.

Yah, It's Morning...just checking

So much for our big assed snow storm...or...is it? The whole of Nebraska looks like it will be covered in snow storms...sometime soon. Sad to say, I still have to go downtown and put away freight...if my truck comes in, that is. I have more bags than Samsonite, under my eyes. I mean, I look like I'm packed and ready to go for a LONG HOLIDAY! sick of that look uh oh...I hear something outside...by damn...it must be the ice storm...right on cue. Must go...donuts calling out...frost me...put nuts on me(?)...make me purty... god...I must get more sleep!! Hey Cindy...don't paint yourself into a corner! hee hee hee

We Made Dirty Snow Angels On My Carpet What Did You Do For The New Year?

Happy happy new year...Happy happy new year happy happy happy happy happy happy new year happy happy new year HEY! ...Scenes from an obscenely funny scene at the McCurdy household late one night...Parental guidance is suggested please keep a barf bag handy and or a bedpan... Watching this animation has been known to give people the shits!