December 30, 2006


Snowflakes big as butterflys, my mom called to tell me and when I looked outside I saw that it was true.
Beautiful white butterflys swirling around the streetlights.

December 28, 2006

Things Of Note:

1) I got a vacuum cleaner for Christmas and I'm not gonna lie...IT SUCKS! It's purple and has a telescoping hose and that my friends is something you have to see to believe. No more circumcised vacuum cleaners for me by God. True we're still in the honeymoon stage, but so far...I can't be more satisfied!
2) If you are feeling dysfunctional for any reason, most of which can be blamed entirely on the holidays and overabundance of a)sugar in mass unchecked quantities and b) extra family members visiting watch LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. It puts the fun back in dysfunctional.
3) We have a talking widget on my apple that takes great pleasure in telling me the time every freaking 15 minutes and frankly it's starting to piss me off. Like I really want to know that I have wasted yet another 15 minutes of precious time. SHUT THE HELL UP WIDGET BOY!!!

December 18, 2006

Good times...Good times

Just got back from Iowa.
Mark's mom had her 75th birthday and we all got together for a birthday/reunion/christmas bash. It was good times. We played dice for Christmas gifts, rolled for doubles for the grab bag gifts and generally taught the younguns how to gamble. It's never too early!
We also watched the Nebraska Husker volleyball girls take the NATIONAL TITLE!!!! YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I bet the Old Market was hopping Saturday night!
good times...good times
I went to Target and purchased a few minor el cheapo items one can't do several teeny tiny tinsel trees that are very ugly and cost me only 1.00!! I will use them next year if I can find them again.
I'm sooooo tired now I can't finish this post...more later

December 11, 2006

Some Pain, Some Uncertainty

Dad had his left lung "drained" Monday, 1 week ago, here at our local hospital. The Dr. got out almost 2 litres of beer looking fluid and said that he could have gotten out more but the pain was too much for Dad to take. We got a script for Darvocet for pain (actually one pill) and they went home.
Two days later Dad's weight was at an all time low at the oncologists office in Kearney. 155 lbs. I can imagine the left lung, filled to capacity, pressing down on the diaphragm maybe being the culprit. Mom got a gleam in her eye and was imagining all the shakes, supplements, vitamins, calories, juices etc she could mix to fatten up Dad. The usual Dr. has taken on a new partner and we like him. He is able to take time to explain the disease, side effects, labs, etc and also to offer up hope instead of only gloom and doom. This oncologist says that dad's fluid buildup may very well be heart related. (which is the lesser of two evils I guess) He ordered an echo and after looking at the overread (which only took a mere 1 FREAKING MONTH to get results from!!!!) stated that he would send a recomendation for more aggressive treatment of the heart to Dad's primary physician. He says often time a primary physician sees the cancer diagnosis and doesn't want to try to treat the whole patient. He so very right. At least 95 percent of my experience. Always, though, it seems we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Dad has been having intermittant pain, on his left side and scattered various spots. He had the pain over a week ago but chose not to tell the Dr or nurses or us. He has been taking 2 or 3 Darvocet a day with relief. I am wondering if the pain is related to the Zymeta he gets monthly, the cancer, or something else. His labs are all very good, except for the calcium which is just a tiny bit high...10.4 or so. He has been taking a mineral supplement with over 200mg of calcium in it so decided to get off that. After researching Zymeta I saw that gi upset, pain in the chest can occur also intermittant pain. Mom has Pepcid and Dad is going to try that, he's going to cut down on the coffee a bit, drink more water, and I'm sure, drink shake, smoothie, supplement after supplement until he is fat and sassy again.
I've got a call into the clinic for cytology report from Monday, thyroid blood results and hopefully they will get faxed to us tomorrow.

All He Needs Is a Beer and the Remote!

I'm grilling salmon and a couple steaks and baby potatos. I hope I'm hungry because Andrew is dieting and needs to lose 3 more pounds before he can wrestle the weight class he wants tomorrow, Mark has a meeting, Katie...well...Katie eats sometimes and sometimes not...mostly not what I cook, Alec will eat, I will eat and I will make a dash to mom and dad's and they can eat.
Petie will eat well tonight.
Lazy cur

Just Gettin By:

Working, attending basketball games, wrestling meets, Dr. appointments, making baskets for the shop, chewing nails, wishing for thinness and world peace (in that order Santa), trying to teach the parrot to say, "Get the cawfee", shopping online and hoping for a before Christmas arrival, researching moody adolscent behavior and moody premenopausel behavior, thinking about exercising, longing for 2pm naps, dreading Christmas break, hoping to keep snow at bay, smelling ceder, wanting to watch The Effects of Radiation on Man on the Moon Marigolds again.

December 06, 2006

Meet Bertha

Yup...that's Bertha...the pretty sparkly big as a fat lady in the circus Christmas tree...noooooooo not the big fat lady...the BIG AS A FAT LADY IN THE CIRCUS KISSMAHASS TREE!!
She's a Capricorn, likes bacon, pancakes and eggs for breakfast and walking in the rain. She's partial to cat piss perfume and she likes to do death defying belly flops on ceramic tile floors. She's big and she's beautiful thanks to a whole crew of Hamels. Kurt, bless his pea pickin' heart, went to a lot of work picking out the biggest, most bestest badd ass tree he could find, chopped it down with a Paul Bunyan axe and with the help of Bustin Justin Puddin' Haid and big brudder Bessie dropped it off at my door, left the car running, pushed the doorbell and sped like hell down the road Ho Ho Hoing as loud as you can imagine.
Thank you boys!@!!$$%^#@@#$

Thank you Cindy Sue aka Fuzzy for coming over and helping a decorating impaired vinegar headed blonde make a Christmas tree come to life!!!

ps...Bertha took a nose dive today and got a few boo boos (not to mention the old bag who had to pick her big tree lard ass up and put her(meaning Bertha) back into the naughty corner...)

Anywayyyyy...what's a few more cedar needle sticks in the eye, my eye, my eye...sokay but thass my last col beer.

December 01, 2006

Busy Just Doesn't Really Describe It, sports, job, home,
mother, wife, bitch
queen mother of spin your wheels
hurry up and wait
gotta go

see ya


November 28, 2006

They Might Get Their Asses Kicked!

When the boys came home from school, on the day of Thanksgiving break, they threw their filthy stinking sweaty poo poo wrestling clothes and bags in the laundry room.
So what else is new, you say.
Well, how about this. While Katie was doing her hair the next morning, her elbow caught the edge of a shelf in the laundry room. Said shelf was above the cluster of mildewing wrestling clothes. The "nudge" sent a large, very very very expensive bottle of old lady smelling perfume crashing down...down to shatter into a million pieces of sparkles. Embeding not only shards of glass into Alecs unitard (singlet) but Andrew's gym bag as well. AND even though the unitard was washed, dryed and sprayed with febreeze and line dried again and the gym bag was hung outside during the mist all day...I'm afraid all items that were baptized with the parfume were still eeking out the scent of french ho. I can only imagine what all those burly he mens in tight tards were thinking when Alec strutted onto the sweaty mat reeking to high heaven.

November 27, 2006

Low Fat My ASS! (I Wish)

Did you know that low fat PRINGLES have 700 freaking calories in one container!!
Not that I would sit and eat a whole container of PRINGLES in one sitting...NOW!

November 25, 2006

Fat and Sassy

Thanks to help from Mom and some of my blonde cousins, The COFFEE SHOP is ready for Christmas!! It was no mild feat I can tell you that. It was, in a nutshell, H E double mofo toofpicks. If I could liken this chore to something I would compare it to having major dental surgery without anesthesia, naked, in an outdoor dentist office on a busy street corner during rush hour. yah something along those lines. But THANK YOU DEAR UNDRUNKEN COUSINS!! I am in great debt to you all!! I spent about 12 hours working on it today, with half the day being helped by Mom and Slat Ass and her munchkin. The only thing left now is to put lights on the grove of christmas trees in the pharmacy and to maybe run a string of icicle lights in the coffee shop window.
We had a nice Thanksgiving and got fatter and sassier...hope you did the same.

November 22, 2006

Sentimental Journey

I felt the posting of these old poems would be appropriate for Thanksgiving. The first one reminds me of one of our family's "Ho Downs" and no I don't mean HO as in HO...geeze you people.
I noticed the date of this first poem was 1 day before the dreaded 9/11. Weird to think of it now. I guess weird isn't the right word. Here I was writing of a garden party and within 24 hours I would be hard put to think of anything but anguish over that horrific day.
On that note...hope you have a joyful day. One filled with family, friends and good and plenty of it....and naps! Oh yah...and sweat pants with elastic waist bands.


Ivy clings to the gazebo
Curling green intermingled with tiny white lights
Stars for tonight
A cool tang seasons the air
A taste of woodsmoke and the brightness
A cleaning frost may bring
The last of the mums bob their golden heads
Looking like grannies bent over their knitting
Guitars and voices together
Brush the night with a party hue
Baskets of bread, and bowls of fruit are scattered about
Soup spoons clatter into emptiness as each drop is savored
Laughter and smiles and sleeping children are plentiful
Hands that clasp one another are rough with the work of harvest
But a callous is worn with pride and love here
As we celebrate our life

9/10/01...Sheryl McCurdy

Just There

The chrysanthemums have yet to reach the age
Where they coat the sidewalks with their petal dust
But autumn has made her presence known
In many other ways to us
Our cheeks are scolded by the morning breeze
Then warmly stroked in the afternoon sun
Stems of sharply pointed grasses crunch beneath our feet
Broken to jagged edges by the nip of last nights frost
A hunger for the sound of leaves strolling down the street
Rumbles deep within our aching soul
Fuzzy caterpillars deplete a milk pod plant
Feeding on leaf after leaf after leaf
Fall has tweaked our senses
With her basket full of browns and reds and gold's
Step outside to see and feel and smell and hear
And watch this glorious day unfold

10/11/01 Sheryl McCurdy

November 15, 2006

Pantene Aint Got NUTHIN On ME!

I think I'm on to something.
You remember the other day I used vinegar water on my hair??
Today AND yesterday people told me my hair LOOKED GOOD!
yup...all these years of using sprays to volumize, gels to stiffen, mousses to hold "the look", moisturizers to heal my damaged locks, shampoos for finer than frog fur hair, I have found the answer!!

Hear Ye Hear Ye...Let it be known throughout the universe!

VINEGAR WATER KICKS ASS When vigorously spritzed onto the hair follicle! makes a nice douche too. Hey...kill two birdies with one rock if you can.

November 14, 2006

Stripper or Teaser...all the same.

On Sunday, Mark and I stripped wallpaper off the laundry room wall. Not all of it mind you...the paper is stuck like a mofo. When mom and I papered we really pasted that stuff on. So...if you've ever stripped wallpaper you might have used vinegar water to hasten the process. You fill a spray bottle with the brine add water and then spritz the paper. Mark and I got quit a bit of the wall nude before we had to quit.
This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I washed my hair, added gel and then, for an added touch, I spritzed my bad boy hair with..vinegar water. I didn't have time to redo the whole I picked my hair, combed it up and left it. If I smell like a pickle know why.

November 12, 2006


Our volleyball girls were a tish away from being in the finals of the State Tourney. We won our first game agaisnt a team that had beaten us twice. To say we were ecstatic would be putting it mildly. Our next game was scheduled for 6 pm. In between games the mamas went to the Olive Garden and prodeeded to enjoy. The Bruschetta was divine the Shiraz was flowing freely the Italian Margaritas were extroidinaire! We ate bowls of salad and we munched pizza and appetizers and enjoyed our friendship.

November 08, 2006

Good News

Today Dad had a Dr appointment in Kearney. The oncologist decided he needed to have his heart checked out. See if the fluid problem lies within that area. He doesn't think cancer is the culprit. we pursue that. Good report really. The chest x-ray showed fluid in the left lung, as always but no tumor growth. We are happy but remain watchful.

Barefoot and Wafering

I walk around barefoot in my living room and feel that I need to vacuum. Instead I go to the pantry, pull open the door and find 4 lemon wafer cookies, slam the door shut, take them to the table and eat them while I read my new book. Occasionally I take sips of Strawberries and Cream Diet Pepsi. I'm multi tasking this afternoon. I'm baking cookies for Katie to take on the bus tomorow and doing laundry AND eating lemon wafers. Our high school volleyball team made it to state and they play on Friday at 11 am in Pershing Auditorium. So...I'm baking chocolate chip and caramel apple cookies for the bus ride. Not the homemade mother of the year kind. No...these were the Oh Shit I forgot I needed to bake 3 dozen cookies for the blah blah blah school function kind...the kind you need right now and maybe yesterday. Frozen in neat little patties oven ready. I get then occasionally from one of my wholesalers for just such a crisis. I should be making supper but I can't figure out what to have tonight. Lemon wafers and Diet Pepsi loom on the horizen.

October 31, 2006

Green and Orange Tasty Balls!

The only funny thing that happened today is that Cindy and I made 340 popcorn balls. And that isn't really funny at all...when you think of the mess. The balls are a little bigger than shit...and some are orange and some are green. Cindy hates the green flavored...lime and of course...I love them. We made them for the little Trick or Treaters for Tomorrow.
To bed now. With Balls on the mind.

October 29, 2006

Coinckidinck or ???

I just read something...and I guess I should say...saw something that really bothered me.
I was finally able to sit down and read the Sunday paper...Omaha World Herald and in the Main News section I noticed an add for A COMPLETE THANKSGIVING DINNER...$1.84 with a picture of an emaciated man seated with a plate of food. It was an advertisement for the OPEN DOOR MISSION. Now what bothered me was that just below this ad was a bigger ad with the advantage of colored inks stating...GET A FREE TOTE BAG containing a shopping card worth up to $1,000 from Macy's, SkyMall or American Express. It was an ad for HARRAHS...the casino in Council Bluffs.
How pathetic is that? Above there is a picture of a starving man spearing a $1.84 turkey dinner...and below...lets go shopping at the mall for $1,000 !!!
Clever ad management...or...
Also this page had:
A story about how the US may have its first Muslim congressman come November....hmmmmm war innuendo...starving tote bags for $1,000...then below these gems was an ad featuring a couple seated in their expensive living room, happy, gleeful and bragging that they just got a "fewer bills is a wonderful feeling" loan...
Just...makes one think...maybe just me...though...I always do see into things...make things more difficult than they are supposed to be. dog Petie...aka...Pissin Pete...keeps FARTING! and I don't mean lady like poofting either. I mean beer drinking jalapeno flavored garlic clove pickled pigs feet snacking hairy chested big bellied tattooed on most of their exposed flesh Harley Davidson riding with a T-shirt saying If you can read this than FUCK YOU!!! MAN FARTS!!!
I'm telling you...that dog is riding a thin line. If I could I would light a sandalwood/cedar/patchouli incense cone and shove it up his little puckered doggie ass with the tip of my boot...if I had boots, an incense cone...and a total lack of self control.

The Stuff Boredom is Made Of

I drank some wine made in a Lexington Nebraska winery recently. I ordered two bottles...the red AND the white. Both were, sadly, too sweet for me. Kind of reminded me of PRISON WINE. Do you remember the recipe for that??
I am still awake because I've been waiting for my chicks to come back to the nest. Katie and her girls had a "night out" and a group of them went to McCook to some scary freaking movie. Andrew had some kind of plan to meet his "girly friend" from another town at a haunted house in McCook. He talked to her on the phone, made some plans, cajoled his sister to take him...blah blah blah blah. In the end...he did not see his girl at all, went to the movie with Katie and her friends and came home fairly happy anyway. I just thank God they came home in one piece. Teen drivers and all...god...I'm trembly yet thinking of it.
Alec is at a friends house for the night.
Mark and I shared a strange and quiet night together. We are both so damn tired we stared blankly at the tv and magazine and the inside of our eyelids.
Now...I need to go to bed.

October 26, 2006

I just KNEW there was an explanation

for me being TIRED every morning!!

"Sexsomniacs" puzzle medical researchers

LONDON, Oct 25 (Reuters Life!) - Researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep, New Scientist magazine reported on Wednesday.

Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it.

As yet there is no cure for the condition, which often leads to difficulties in relationships.

"It really bothers me that I can't control it," Lisa Mahoney told the magazine. "It scares me because I don't think it has anything to do with the partner. I don't want this foolish condition to hurt us in the long run."

Most researchers view sexsomnia as a variant of sleepwalking, where sufferers are stuck between sleep and wakefulness, though sexsomniacs tend to stay in bed rather than get up and walk about.

While sleepwalking affects two to four percent of adults, sexsomnia is not thought to be as common a problem, according to Nik Trajanovic, a researcher at the sleep and alertness clinic at Canada's Toronto Western Hospital.

But an Internet survey of sexsomniacs carried out in 2005 that drew 219 reliable respondents concluded it was more prevalent than medical case reports alone might suggest.

"Most of the time sleep sex occurs between people who are already partners," Mark Pressman, a sleep specialist at Lankenan Hospital in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania, told the New Scientist.

"Sometimes they hate it," added Pressman of the reactions of sexsomniacs' partners. "Sometimes they tolerate it. On rare occasions you have stories of people liking it better than waking sex."

With no cure, addressing triggering factors -- stress or sleep deprivation -- can help, while Michael Mangan, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire in the U.S. has set up a Web site,, to help sufferers.

Meanwhile Trajanovic is devising a procedure for diagnosing sexsomnia in legal cases where sufferers have been accused of sexual assault.

October 25, 2006

Suzy Freakin Homemaker!

I did a few orders for the coffee shop and talked to a few salesmen (as usual)but mostly:
I made lasagna, chocolate cake with chocolate peanut butter cream cheese frosting and frosted cinnamon rolls for HOME not the shop. T
he veggies were green beans and sweet taters. Served with a hot roll(not mine but from the shop)of course!
Amazing what not having to go to work all day does for me.
I got several loads of laundry done. Some grocery shopping. I made a little baby lasagna for mom and dad to have for supper.
I took a nap!
I did dishes and thought about dusting but I didn't.
The boys have a football game tomorrow in Blue Hill. It's the play offs. The weather is supposed to suck with wind, rain and cold stuff settling in.
I hate that!
I'm distracted and wanting to sleep now.
Hibernation is setting in...yawn

October 23, 2006

Pootang Mugs are Sooo IN!

Mental note to self...Today is Monday.

I got a new shipment of mugs in the other day. They are really cute and cool with black and white dots and stripes...Some have blue and black some have black and pink. There are various sayings...Some for sisters...Some for friends...Some about being the center of the universe. They looked just like the picture from which I ordered them from. Except for one bizarre thing. Inside each mug there is a series of circles right where the handle attaches on. So what you say? Well...The circle is ahem a series of circles that something like...hmmmmmmmm shall I say...A slice of kiwi? ummmmm maybe a CT scan of a pomegranate? A...hmmmmm how to put it delicately...A gleaming pink/mauve/spotted pootang? Anyway...That's what Mark says. He has formally named these cups my "lesbian cups" and therefore...If you need a special gift for that special someone, like to remind someone of what they are missing or just like to drink coffee and stare straight into a gleaming pink/mauve/spotted pootang...Come on over. I have a bazillion!

October 18, 2006


I see that my blog looks like ASS in IE. CRAPOLA. Now I have to figure out if I can fix it.

Random Tid Bits...I know...a SHOCK!

I'm in the midst of planning a Halloween day Witches Tea for the coffee shop. Should be fun. I need some entertainment at the 10 am slot so if you play the nose harp or can fart the star spangled banner...let me know.

Katie is following in her mother and grandmothers footsteps. Remember when my mom dropped a curling iron on the white of her eye?? and when I dropped a curling iron on my ahem...petite nose and burned the unibrow off?? Well, Katie dropped her curling iron and fried her neck. At first I thought she had a hickey and was I PISSED!!! Then I realized...she's a tip off the ole block head.

The girls won last night after a bit of a scare. Saturday is a tournament at Cozad for which I will be late because I have to work...damn...

Katie is filling out college scholarship apps and she found the Duct Tape scholarship where if you and your date go to prom in outfits made entirely from duct get a $3,000 one. Not sure of all the details but that sounded funny!

The play was good. Cast very well I must say. The wicked stepsisters were too too funny. Katie wanted to be one of them but I have to say she made a nice Queen instead. I'll try to post some pics soon. They are all on our Apple which I LOVE and it's rare that I type on our old dinasauer HP.

Andrew is "sparking" a girl from out of town and I think it's going to make me grayer and older and I said to him, Can't you just date someone in town and go to the bowling alley or something? He just looked at me with that know the one.

Alec is trying to gain weight so he can wrestle a kid he knows from somewhere. He has been stuffing his face regularly and with an increase from the usual. One of his old classmates (seventh grader) wrote to him. The kid is 6'3" and weighs 230...!!! Can you imagine? In seventh grade?? 12 years old!! I bet there isn't enough food in the fridge for that. And he isn't even through growing yet. Yikes!

Well, I can't think of anything else at the moment. Gotta go make cinnamon rolls.

October 14, 2006

Tell Me Why...

When a man does something like a few loads of laundry or washes a couple of dishes he gets praise and worship and comments like, I hope your wife appreciates you and when a woman does things like laundry or washing dishes it's just...part of her job and no one says, I hope your husband appreciates you????

October 12, 2006

Writing in my Spare Time

It's almost 3 am and I'm still awake. Too many thoughts spinning around and too much diet Pepsi late at night. We went to Kearney today to Dad's oncologist. I guess that's on my mind. We have a few options to discuss all of which are not the best...but it's come to that I guess. We can (1) start chemo again, (2) see a thoracic surgeon for a procedure that involves many days in the hospital, chest tubes, drains and the "scarring" of the pleural space of the lungs, or (3) we can go along like we have been.
In other news...we remain so very busy with the kids and their activities that it boggles the mind. Alec has his last junior high football game tomorrow...away of the Arctic cirle. He is hoping in fact SURE they are going to kick butt and win this game! Andrew's junior varsity football is done (they had a disappointing season but I felt that Andrew improved in each game so that was a plus. The varsity football game is away on Friday and we need to post a win. Katie has volleyball games left for awhile and I'm glad. I love volleyball and we have a good little team...Katie has done a great job this year and we are proud of her. won't be long and it will be time for basketball. The time is going by so fast now.
The dinner theater is this weekend already. It's Cinderella. Katie is the Queen...although she would have been a perfect wicked stepmother and I think she actually got that part but she wanted someone else to have dahhh...she is the Queen and Andrew is...hmmmm...what we call a "village person". He is an extra and all I know he must do is...waltz with someone. He won't tell me who and he won't let me help him. Because as you all know...I'M TOOPID! and UNCOOL!!

(mental note...must order flowers for opening night)

Well, I better try to sleep...only 2 hours till I have to get up and MAKE THE DONUTS!

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New Options...I guess you'd call it options...

Dad's scan showed, hold your breath, fluid in his lungs...again.
I'm afraid this is how things will be. Take the fluid out, back the fluid comes.
I would have to say that Dad doesn't have as many symptoms of the reaccumulation of he did last time.
We went to the oncologist today.
Basically she said she thought the fluid was reaccumulating because of "cancer". I really think that Dad thought his cancer was, well, gone. Because of all the radiation, the chemo, the procedures he's undergone and the side effects of these things he had forgotton one thing. He has cancer. Cancer AND side effects of those other things.
The oncologist gave us three options. One...a different type of chemo, Two...consult with a thoracic surgeon who could put Dad in the hospital for several days, insert bilateral chest tubes, drain both lungs, "scar" up the pleural spaces and MAYBE this would work to keep the fluid from reaccumulating, Three...go on as we have been, still getting monthly Zymeda, draining the lungs as needed.
I don't know, for some reason I had convinced myself that the fluid was related to, perhaps, the radiation or chemo. As we were about to leave I thought to ask the Dr. this question. She said, No...the fluid is not caused by these things. She seemed sure. I still question it. I don't think she likes me. I don't think the nurses like us either. I hate that place. I see them visiting with other patients, caring, asking questions, touching, making eye contact...and then...they seem very very different to us. I wonder why.
Anyway, we have to talk about our options and figure out what to do now.

October 09, 2006

Keeping Up With The Jones...and Getting Caught!

Mark went to Kearney on Saturday to get the rest of the crap he needed to open the pharmacy in Oxford. While he was there he picked up a TV. He has been mentioning lately(frequently and in excess) that the screen is blurry, the reception is crap... yadda yadda yadda. I don't really notice this because I don't tend to watch the tube even when I watch tv, besides my "eyes are blurry anyway". So...Mark got that set up on Saturday night.
Sunday, we went to church. Even Mark went along, much to my surprise. As I was driving off, pissed off as usual because we were late, I couldn't find the collection envelopes, my socks were loose, my toenails unpainted, my hair like a scarecrow, my clothes clingy, my bra strap twisted, my purse full of empty mint wrappers, my kids fighting and crabby and wearing "unchurchy" clothes, I saw Mark standing by the garage door looking as pissed as I was. He snarled, I guess I'll walk to church to which I slammed on the brake and said, Unless you want to ride with your family?? And off we went, the whole big happy group.
Funny enough the sermon was about "Keeping up with the Jones" and I almost laughed my ass off. BECAUSE, the pastor used as an example the very same tv that is now sitting in our living room! as a method of "keeping up with the Jones". Coinkidink? or the wrath of God...hmmmmm....somthing to ponder I guess.

Death by Caffeine

Check out this link...death by caffeine...
You type how much of your "poison" you ingest per day and your weight (yes it's okay to lie because I did!) and it spews out how many drinks it will take to kill you.

October 08, 2006

Burn Baybe Burn

Been busy with the kids - (countless ball games football and volleyball, cookies/meals/snacks/drinks to be made, costumes to sew, money to give, clothes to wash, febreeze to spray into football shoes gag gag gag), making up drinks for the coffee shop (come try Great Gobs of Gopher Guts Swirly), and am tortured by trying to think of a cure for facial skin burns achieved by using steaming hot enough to burn your face clear the hell off hair removal wax. Not that I burned myself...yet. But it doesn't hurt to be prepared. I've heard this sort of thing happens sometimes.

October 01, 2006

Dad is to have a CT scan tomorrow. We haven't seen the Dr. in a month. Dad is pretty short of breath. His activity is very limited. His appetite is poor but he eats anyway. Time is flying and we don't know what is in store for us. Everything revolves around the cancer.
We maybe should have went to North Platte for treatment.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

Pretty Song

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September 14, 2006

Simple Pleasures

I poked myself in the eye today with a straw.
While driving.
I did not require medical assistance.
Just soap in my mouth.
As you all know I had to get a new fridge cuz mine broke on Friday.
Yesterday, Alec said fondly as he patted the old broken fridge, "I'm going to miss you", and he sighed touching the old ragged smiley faced stickers he had plastered on the front door when he was in Kindergarden.
I took Alec to the orthodontist yesterday. When we were back in town he asked me to swing by home so that he could "Meet the new fridge" which was delivered earlier.
He likes it.
It holds food and drinks.
Life is good.

September 11, 2006

Don't Call Me Three Fingered Loui...yet

What I Did Today

Went to church...Let the trumpets blow! And most people recognized me!
Almost fell asleep in church...But didn't!
Sang off key in church...But quietly.
Wore a completely ugly outfit including short pants and long sleeved shirt and looked totally super stupid...But at least my pants fit around my barrel shaped waist.
Cleaned my fridge out after finding out IT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE!
Went to the shop and discovered that my swirly/shake fridge door had been left partially open since Saturday and THREW OUT HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF GOODS!
On a happy side note if there is a happy to this...I was able to thoroughly clean the fridge when it was empty...Both of them.
Bumped my head HARD on the freezer door...But didn't cut it quite wide open.
Cut my hand on the ceiling fan....No not because I was doing something fun either...But didn't chop them off or bleed too much
Cleaned the top of my home fridge off...and then...because I was that high in the air...cleaned the sofet on top of my kitchen cupboards which was a TREAT!!
Top it off with insomnia and you have a good share of my day so far.

Off Again

We are heading up to Kearney soon. I talked with the on call (new guy of new he is squeaking...but he did see Dad last Thursday os he sort of "knows" of him) Oncologist who is supposed to be setting up a thorecentesis this morning. All hinging upon the INR results to be < 1.5 (if not then it's fresh frozen plasma first) and really if we can make it to all the different buildings we have to go to in order to get the treatment done. I wonder if we can.
Every movement is difficult now. Air is a precious commodity.
I listened to Dads lung sounds and the left lung is completely filled up with fluid except for a small area of air movement. The right has a few rhonci.
We are supposed to get on the road and try to be up in Kearney by 8:30 - 9 this morning. I am to call the Oncologist while on the road (cuz it takes us 1 1/2 hours to get there) and they are supposed to be telling us where to go and what to do and yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda.
I know it's going to be a cluster.
We cannot have a bunch of wasted trips here and there. Dad won't be able to tolerate it.
I hope to hell they get it set up and set up so that this will be as easy as it can be.
I doubt it.

September 10, 2006

Downward Spiral

Dad needs a left thorecentesis yesterday really.
Why the hell we didn't already schedule it when we were at the oncologist is beyond me. It's like we are struck dumb at the office.
Of course we had the new guy...had to start over from scratch...had to do a cliff note on dads condition. Instead of getting set up for the procedure we ended up just adding Aldactone to the 80mg of Lasix per day.
Every day is a struggle now. The O2 is a necessity. Dad won't wear the portable though his sats dip below 85 percent. He is using a cane at times to walk to the bathroom..."for balance". His activity is extremely limited which in essense limits moms activity too.
There is no answer, no fix no way to make this easier.
We are waiting for Monday to call the oncologist and set up something.

September 06, 2006

Hell Is A Stich in Time

I've been doing counted cross stich tonight. We (Shirley k's and Mark's pharmacy employees) are making a quilt for one of the preggo pharmacists. Only 1 or 2 know how to cross stich. The quilt should hold together really well.
I personally have developed carpel tunnel just tonight.
I'm done now.
Not with the square...GOD no...not that. I will probably have to redo the whole damn thing. I mean do Teddy bears really ride on Geese anyways? Is that a happy little baby quilt subject?? A big ass Teddy bear with sharp claws riding a soft downy goose? I don't think so.
I gotta go cuz there is a show on tourettes syndrome now $#%#^!!

Holding Our Breath

We are going to Kearney tomorrow. We missed Dads Zymeta infusion on Tuesday. We just plain thought it was scheduled for thursday. Dad needs to see the Dr. too. He hasn't had much improvement in his breathing since the last thorecentesis. His activity is very limited. He doesn't like to wear the oxygen except when he is sitting on the couch. He doesn't want to wear the portable at all.
We will take it tomorrow anyway.'
I don't know if the chemo damaged dad's heart...put him into heart failure, if the excess fluid around his lower extremities will remain, if he has fluid building up in his lungs again, if the cancer has spread, if if if if if . I listen to his lungs and I hear diminished sounds, rhonci, but I can't really tell if there is fluid in the pleural area. I just have the worst time assessing his lungs. I always have...even before he had cancer. I don't know what to do really.
I caught him smoking on the back step the other day. He says he has been. 1 or 2 maybe. I didn't know what to say really. I felt pissed and sad and yet I understood.
Nothing is enjoyable for him or for mom. He sits on the couch and "rests" all day. Watches a bit of TV, eats sparingly. He drives to town once in awile but he doesn't want anyone to see him gasping for breath so that has generally limited his errend running. He can't mow. He can barely get to the step without grabbing furniture because he's so short of breath.
Everything seems overwhelming and uncertain.

September 04, 2006

My Favorite Pics from Old Fashioned Saturday Night!

Some Things That Have Been Going On:
Seems like it's been a long week.
Volleyball... a triangular that the girls won...but kept me on the edge with a slow start losing the first set and having to come from behind to take the victory.
Football...the varsity boys were playing in Antarctica on Friday and lost. Andrew got in the game and made a block. I really never expected him to get into a varsity game at least when I was looking. It's hard to watch for your kid when they all look alike. Anyway...he got 8.2 seconds under his belt and in football talk that equaled out to about a minute.
Our anniversary...18 big ones yesterday...and we partied like it was 18 big ones all right.
Actually...Mark's brother Mike sent him a bottle of Dom Perignon for his 40th birthday...1 1/2 years ago...and we still have it. Since my Mom's birthday is on Thursday we decided to uncork the champagne and live it up.
Frankly, I was not impressed. Maybe age doesn't treat Dom well. I'd just a soon had a glass of Communion wine.

August 28, 2006

My Eye! Ain't so Bad...

When I woke up this morning my right eye was mattered shut and puffy and it sort of reminded me of when I went on my first BRAN ride and woke up with an eyelid overhang that could put most circus fat ladies to shame. I think Cindy Sue splashed me with her Moscow Mule fixins last night! There might be a lime swimming behind my lid. But hey...just so ya know...if you are going to go blind there is no better way! Boy is that a magic potion!
Right now I'm sitting on the "man throne" (recliner) watching the discovery channel and writing this instead of sleeping. Why? Because of OLD FASHIONED SATURDAY NIGHT!
What the hell is that you ask?
A lot of work.
It's a town celebration we have here that involves food, Saturday night, horse rides, games, music, eating and for me...just a lot of work. Also...the first annual BRAIN FREEZE CONTEST at the coffee shop.
We had a contest to see how fast someone could suck down a SWIRLY (that's a fruit smoothie), and survive the brain freeze. The SWIRLY'S were neon green, looked like some type of biohazard and flavored SOUR APPLE. Our sign up was good. We had about 50 people try it and we have 4 first place T shirts and 12 certificates for 1st, 2nd and 3rd places to hand out. We had a few hurlers and a few quitters...but most...stuck it out. I hope to post pictures some day.
Anyway, I can't sleep because I'm crippled after working all day to clean up the hell hole the shop turned into. Mark and the kids helped me off and on. It took from 11 am to 9:30 pm.
I am watching a show about birthmarks and nevi that cover the whole of someone's back and then werewolf syndrome and now...something about a guy who will be cooled off to such a level that his heart is stopped so they can repair his brain aneurysm. back hurts, I have heartburn AND I'm watching shows about people with medical problems. Luckily my ain't so bad...

August 25, 2006

A Friend Sent Me This's a good one!

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss, rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for stealing free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who is clueless. (From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.)

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake.)

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

August 24, 2006

Hellfire and Nuts

I roasted nuts tonight...among other things. But...I have to say the end of my night was all about hot spicy nuts...and sugary sweet nuts.
This was my day off. I had a list the size of my ass of things to do. Therefore I did hardly half of them.
I scrubbed my floors on my hands and knees with a scrubby brush. I did laundry (that's a given). I did dish after dish and cleaned out my fridge. We ought to be ashamed of many leftovers crusted with mold. I fed my compost pile. I shopped for food, shampoo and laundry detergent. I read a magazine and saw that Brittany Spears has dark hair now...not to mention she's about to pop out a kid. I wanted to tell her, Brittany...these are the best days of your life, like my grandma told me!
I BBQ'd chicken on the grill. I hung laundry on the line. I took out trash and I thought about a nap. I went to the shop and worried about OLD FASHIONED SATURDAY NIGHT...which is this weekend. I made a few plans, shopped for my moms birthday present, took lunch to Mom and Dad, started the water on their lawn. The topper of the day was a huge drama with Alec who came home from his second football practice of his life with tears in his eyes and dreams dashed...already. He is "on the line", "because he's "fat and slow" and "I won't ever get to touch the ball" and that's not where he wanted to be...blah blah blah.....Oh my good does one raise a child without feeling like a total stupid ass? how? or losing one's mind?? or beating the holy hell out of them?? I think this may be a year of sheer hellish shit storms. This may be the year of hormonal imbalance...mine AND his and maybe therapy, medical and or mental. This may be the year of going gray and sensing bone density evaporation looming on the horizon.
Andrew had a few issues too.
Katie came home singing and hurried and as always, oblivious to everything. She grabbed a chicken leg, a peanut butter sandwich and went jogging.
Meanwhile Mark and I attempted to fix the unfixable with Alec, calm him and set him straight and teach him and comfort im and ditto Andrew. We got done with this drama not long before we had to go to a meeting with the pastor about Alec and his conformation classes. I felt beat up and ugly and mean and bitchy and sinful.
After the meeting I went to the shop, did a few things to get ready for tomorrow and when I came home...rubbed Alec's back with lotion, kissed Andrew, gave Katie a bug that was caught in my Moms car grill for her advanced biology class and sent an order my e-mail to my "syrup guy".
I then...roasted nuts.
for fun.
I took a bath and drank some Merlot and read THE SNOWS OF KILIMANJARO and posted this message.
I've decided that hell won't be so bad if there are nuts, salt, honey, brown sugar and beer there.

August 21, 2006

Hanging In There

Since Dad has his right lung drained things are looking up as they can look. The fluid is caused by the chemo and we hope that no cancer cells will be found in this 1 1/2 litre of fluid. He is only using O2 when he rests at night...for the "healing" effect it has. He gets a bit short of breath when the humidity is high but other than that...he feels better. His BP remains a bit low and the PT/INR is an ongoing lab to check and change the coumadin.
Dad's hair is now coming back in. His fingernails and toenails are brownish and now growing out.
One that the hair and the fingernails are growing will the cancer start in again??
Time will tell. For now we enjoy the fact that Dad can breath without assistance

Need Some Wings To Keep Up

Just seems that life is so full of the little things that I don't have a minute to sit down and type anything...let alone make sense with what I'm doing. I doubt it will slow down anytime soon.
First football game this week...then...let the games begin.
I did take a bike ride to Bartley and back with Cindy today. I rode like I'd never been on a bike before. Panting all the way. I was thirsty and tired and it was only to Bartley.
slipping into the gray abyss I'm afraid.
I've been doing weird projects in my few minutes of insomnia...decoupaging shoes and jelly jars.
yuh...high heeled shoes from junior high days and jelly jars of old.
I'll take a picture and show you later.
Other than that those strange projects...same old same old.
Seems as though time is flying and I am not.

August 11, 2006

Hey Hey Hey

I've got a thing for this song

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August 10, 2006

I'm Gettin Grayer by the Minute!

Katie got her senior pictures taken yesterday. I can't wait to see her proofs. She took some really neat poses.
She is going to graduate before I know it.
Andrew is surviving football practice although he finds it sheer hell to get up so early in the morning.
Alec is gloomy much of the time (seventh grader now)and thinks he gets to do "nothing fun" compared to the other two.
This will be a HELL quick year.
Alec...seventh grade
Mom and Dad...nut house

Kindness Will Prevail.

Mom called the oncology office on Tuesday and said that Dad wasn't feeling better and she wondered if the other lung could be scheduled to be drained as soon as possible. She got a call on Tuesday, from one of the nurses ( Dr call), who explained that Dad needed a PT/INR drawn, that he had an appointment to get the lung drained at 1pm on Thursday at the hospital.
Then, she got a call later Wednesday afternoon explaining that due to Dad's PT/INR being too high and that it was too late to "thicken" the blood with Vitamin K, Dad was to be at the radiology center for an infusion of platelets at 9 am and then he was to see the oncologist at her office at 11:15 and that he was still tentatively scheduled for the thorecentesis at 1pm.
So, we got to the radiology department at 9am and found that not only was Dad supposed to have 3 units of platelets but that the nurses there are AWESOME and CARE about patients and their families. I cannot tell you how exceptionally nice it was to finally meet someone with compassion and empathy. It made me want to cry. Dad was actually assessed and monitored and cared the people who worked for the facility. The staff made all the necessary phone calls and arrangements for us and it felt great! They even offered to make mom and I lunch (we declined) but my God how wonderful. Dad almost slept through the entire infusion. His O2 sats were 79 to 83 on room air and he was set up on oxygen and did he sleep! He tolerated the fluids well and as soon as they were done we headed up to "see the Dr".
yah right
You guessed it. We did not see the Dr. In fact, we did see the NP and she gave Dad a "thorough exam" NOT and was about to send us out the door as fast as she could so we "wouldn't be late for the prodedure" fact I had to Dad's PT/INR okay? Will they actually do the procedure when we get there? When in fact, the only reason we were at the Dr office in the first place was the fact that we were told that since Dad's blood was too thin he had to have platelets and then have the PT/INR rechecked and then and only then after seeing the Dr could we for sure go and have the damn procedure anyway. But did she EVEN REVIEW THE LAB REPORTS BEFORE SEEING US?? HELL NO!! HELL NO!! AND HELL NO!!
I am sick of that place and their total lack of concern.
So is Mom.
Well, we got to go and have the right lung drained finally. Another 1 1/2 liters of fluid drawn off. Dad tolerated it well.
Mom and I are in agreement...We want to switch to the Cancer Center for all of Dad's treatments.
A little bit of kindness goes a hell of a long way.

August 07, 2006

I Oughta Leg Rassle Your Ass!

Some little shiass boy remarked to me (in my own home no less), "My gosh your calves are as big as my HEAD!" earlier this afternoon. In shock and piss assedness I replied, THANK YOU VERY LITTLE!! and under my breath I muttered, YOU LITTLE PEE DRINKING CRAP FACE!
I have calves the size of a watermelon headed pee drinking crap faced boy!
Oh boy, did that make my day.
Man, I can't believe how cute I feel now. It rivals my high school homecoming when I was FOURTH RUNNER UP for homecoming Queen, which, if you could do the math that year...meant...LAST!!
In retrospect I probably should take that remark as a compliment...considering the size of that little twits cranium.

August 05, 2006

Indifference Sucks

We thought we might see a Dr today.
Just because Dad had an invasive procedure...a right thorecentesis and had around 1 litre and 1/2 of fluid drained is obviously no reason to expect that a Dr. should want to see him.
At least the nurse called us and told us that there were no cancer cells in the fluid and the CT scan showed no obvious growth in the tumor.
We thought we would be scheduled to have the other lung drained this week. The CT scan showed bilateral pleural effusion...large pleural effusions. No appointment. Just a lot of hurry up and get 'em through.
This centre is starting to really disappoint me.

July 30, 2006

Several Daze Worth

We saw the oncologist on Thursday and she arranged for us to go to Kearney the next day for a thorecentesis (lung tap). Dad was less than thrilled but hoped he would feel better after that.
Our appointment was for 1pm (or so we thought). We arrived at the hospital around 12:45 and the admitting clerk stated that Dad needed bloodwork and that had been scheduled for 12:30 not that we knew. Anyway, it was okay the clerk assured us and we wheeled Dad down a variety of mazelike halls and sat for awhile and waited for the lab. Dad was very short of breath and uncomfortable.
***reminder to self...when Dad gets lower back pain...I mean low low low pain...that means his lung is full of fluid...***
After the bloodwork we waited in radiology. It was around 1:05 so we weren't too late (or so we thought). We waited, we waited, we waited, I checked to see if we were in the right area, we waited we waited, I checked again and the lady says: Well, you aren't scheduled until 2:30. I was like...WHAT! No...the paper says 1Pm the admitting clerk said 1pm...the lady who called last night said 1pm. IT'S 1 FUCKING PM! I really didn't shout it...I just looked at her with glazed eyes and put my forefinger...yes, MY FOREFINGER up in the air that meant, 1 pm LADY! NOT I REPEAT NOT 2:30PM...DON'T YOU LIE TO ME!!!!!!!! MY DAD HASN'T HAD ANYTHING TO EAT OR DRINK SINCE MIDNIGHT AND YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR AND I DON'T MEAN MAYBE! DON'T LIE TO US....JUST TELL US...SORRY WE BUMPED YOU TO LATER BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE DR. ORDERED. JUST DON'T LIE!!!!!
Anyway, needless to say, Dad got in about 3pm and then after they drained off about 1 and 1/2 litres of fluid, which pained him terribly, they sent us to the ambulatory surgery wing were Dad was to be monitored for 2 hours or so. His BP remained low...80's over 50's....hypotension due to...?? cancer?? low fluid?? vagal response?? who knows
His O2 Sats came up fairly well with oxygen on and at rest. Normal really. He said that this tap hurt way worse than the last time. He also said that they wanted to drain the right side next week. Great. I told him that maybe with the fluid off his left side his heart would pump a little better and the fluid would dissapate better and also with the antibiotic things would clear up a bit better.
I don't know.
Finally we got on the way around 6pm. We stopped bv a shitty KFC and got a few ratty pieces of chicken for the drive home. I had brought some portable O2 and put that on Dad. He tolerated the trip well and it took us only 1 1/2 hours to get home.
He has an appointment with the oncologist next week.

July 27, 2006

Going to Kearney

We are headed to Kearney to see the Oncologist. Dad went to the Dr. yesterday and his lung X-ray showed pleural effusion both sides and an increase in the leff sided pleural effusion. His o2 sat, at rest, was 86. With walking it was 79. Yes, he qualifies for o2. No he didn't want it. Yes I ordered it anyway, took it out, and showed him how to use it.
I imagine Dad needs his lung tapped.
He is not thrilled.
More later.

You Think a Charly Horse Is BAD?!

My alarm went off at 5 and I shut it off and laid back down. I wasn't going to go in to work terribly early today because Dad needs to see the Oncologist in Kearney and I'm going to drive. We need to see about getting some fluid off Dad's lungs too might be that we even stay overnight. Anywayyyy I laid back down and pretty soon I hear Mark say, "You need to make sure Andrew gets up for football practice...I have a leg cramp".


How long could this leg cramp last really?? Andrew gets up around 6:20 but uhhhh...yahhhhh. I'll do that. Since I was AWAKE now I decided to go get the cinnamon roll dough ready and blah blah blah a few other things but still...that leg cramp thing...hmmmmmm


July 25, 2006

Hic Burp Fizz Ahhh

I just poured myself a TEQUIZA with SPICY V8 and picked up a still steaming M&M cookie from a plate and I'm going upstairs to take a bath and read my latest book, BEST FRIENDS by Martha Moody. I picked out this book becuase I liked the authors name.

We Got Dingy Bells and a Big Ass Seat!

We got our BIKES! and the dingle bell WORKS like a MOFO!
Justin at Kearney Cycling & Fitness gave us a "deal deal" winkity wink wink...NOT!
Hell, it used to be easy to get a "deal deal" but does it take some time! Well, the Tahoe didn't break down and we shopped and ate ourselves silly. We laughed soooo hard at a WENDY'S drive through the poor idiot who took our order is probably scarred for life.
How many people owe their "scarring" in life to us.
Quite a few I'm thinking.
Katie probably said it best when we questioned Katie how she could find us in the big loud Target store. She said, "I have figured out I don't have to look for you guys, I just have to listen."
Well...that just makes me wanna hop on my big ass bike seat and peddle down the road dinging my bell as loud as I can!!

A Myriad Of Annoying Side Effects...or ?

If there is a side effect from Taxotere listed Dad seems to get it. Dad's lower leg edema has decreased somewhat. He still has some rales and crackles in his right lower base posterior and is somewhat diminished anterior on the right side as well. Of course the air movement is fair to poor on the left (cancer side) and I believe I hear the pleural(effusion) fluid creaking with each breath.
Dad has his bloodwork taken and a chest x-ray done today. We saw the bloodwork and most everything looks GREAT! His INR/PT is a bit lower than the Dr. likes but that is just a coumadin fix. The hgb is 15.3, wbc is 6, the platelets normal, the BUN and Creatinine normal, the Alk Phos...normal, the Calcium...normal. Well, then...what next? Dad's was sitting with his head bobbing around like he couldn't even support it when I saw him this afternoon. I thought, "Hospital", instantly. He had an appointment with his PA tomorrow at 3 p.m. I called the clinic and talked with his PA, got the appointment moved up to 9 a.m. tomorrow, got his Lasix increased to 80 mg today and tomorrow, (along with his Kcl), and we shall see. Dad has a tightish cough, so I encouraged him to increase his fluids, do his breathing treatments and made him...along with me and Mom. a strawberry lemonade smoothie. Later on tonight, Dad seemed a bit stronger. I don't know if he is depressed or sick or both or what to do really. I think he needs that pleural effusion drained but I hate to think of that. Dad does too. He doesn't want to do that again.
We may have no option.
It almost seemed that Dad felt better while he was getting chemo. Of course the steroids probably helped!

July 20, 2006

Hot As HELL and Smelling Like Ass We WIN

Cindy and I went to Kearney yesterday.
It was a trip to remember.
S U R P R I S E!!
Isn't it always. First we take off about 9:30 and Cindy says, We have a few errands to run first and oh yah we have to be back by "4 pm". was still a shopping trip.
We started in giggling right away and Cindy about oopsied on our way to the Furnas County Courthouse. We picked up our schtuff and off we went. In Ho Ridge we stopped off and "got parts" and off we went. In Kearney the first thing we did was decide to eat. OLD CHICAGO it was. We had pizza and Pete's Wicked Strawberry Ale and it was GOOD!
Well, One thing escalated into another and we each ended up ordering a TREK 7200 hybrid bike. Now we can bike the gravel roads. yah...I'll probably bike the gravel roads alright...ON MY FACE!! What the hell was I thinking?? I mean...the bike has a dingy bell on the handlebars for GODS SAKE! They will be in in 1 week.
On the way home, just a bit late, the TAHOE pissed out on us. Luckily it died beside a big assed grove of slightly decaying yet still leaf supporting trees as it was FREAKING 112 DEGREES OUTSIDE!! Cindy and I promptly laid down on the buffalo grass, head on purses, ass to the highway, leg on knee and laughed and giggled and called Cindy's brother to come bring us a blanket and a 30 pack...of which he politely declined. The time had arrived. We had to make the call. Cindy's hubby was in the serious midst of setting up a tractor pull. I mean...he was doing it...And Cindy was supposed to be helping. Instead, here we were. Sweating, patting down two horses in the field next to us and getting stinky horse wound salve on our hands. Cindy's beloved had to go unload 2 or 3 tractors in the hot hot hot sun...from a trailer in yet another town, drive like a mofo to find us...far far far away stranded in the hot hot hot sun without beer and smelling like ass. Then when he found us he was nice and didn't beat us or berate us but instead put the TAHOE on the trailer and hauled our stinky asses to the FURNAS COUNTY FAIR where we made the pull fashionably late.
There is a shitload more to say but I'm past remembering. I'm posting this a week late.

July 18, 2006

Wet and Wild Wannabe

Sometimes, after the nightly bath, the routine picking up my book out of the Calgon take me away soft and sweet smelling water, the toweling AND the book, I go and lay on my bed and wonder why it seems such an effort to get back up and comb my hair. I want to let it dry as it wishes. I know I would indeed regret foregoing this procedure. I also know for a fact that if I did not comb my fine as frog fur hair, that would be the night one of my kids would have to go to the ER with abdominal pain, or an unexpected guest would arrive, or the house would burst into flames and I would have to be evacuated by the firemen, who would all be flabbergasted at my limp, yet wild locks of mousy brown. I want only to lie here on my rumpled quilt with the fan blowing on high, with a nice beer in my hand and some music playing and my hair wet and wild and standing on end.
Eventually though, I'll waddle my lazy self into the bathroom, hunt down a brush, take care of the feathers I call hair, and then go kiss the boys goodnight. My radio doesn't work so nix the music. I'm too tired for beer so I guess I'll brush my snags and hit the hay.

July 16, 2006

This and That

I don't think Dad has shingles at least. We did have to go to the Dr here in town on Thursday because Dad wasn't diuresing very much. We were hoping for an increase in the Lasix. I'd noticed that Dad had 2-3 plus pitting edema in his lower legs and bilateral lung sounds were quite diminished. The problem is that his BP is running low...100's over 50's routinely already and the increase in diuretics could decrease the BP more. Anyway, after 1 hour and 45 minutes wait we saw the PA and he did order an increase in the Lasix (and Potassium)for 5 days, added Aldactone daily and ordered some labwork for next week. I set up Dad's pills in a med cassette, put his TED hose on and that was that.
Saturday, while I was at the swim meet in Lexington, I called Mom and she said that Dad was having a really bad backache and not peeing at all and she was worried and had called the on call DR. (who changed nothing) and then I got worried. I thought to myself...maybe the Taxotere has damaged Dad's kidneys, maybe there is mets, maybe he has an infection, maybe his prostrate is blocking the ureters, maybe he needs straight cathed, maybe maybe maybe. By the time I got home, Dad was starting to diurese at a remarkable rate and continued to do so today. His BP is quite low and his back still aches a bit. Tomorrow, he has an eye DR appointment in McCook. Mom will take him. I hope he will not be too dizzy We may have to call the PA about the fluid, BP, etc. Dad's weight went down about 5 pounds.

2 Thumbs UP

I just finished watching a wonderful show. No...not man with 1 eye or frozen bone Sally or such as that (although I did rather enjoy a show about elephant man disease quite recently). No I watched YESTERDAY starring LELETI KHUMALO among others. It is a film about a woman who contracts AIDS from her shit head husband and must decide what to do with her daughter named, Beauty. I love the show because it's all subtitled and listening to the IsiZulu dialect is like listening to water flowing over smooth other Even though the subject is sad, I still felt relaxed watching it. I liked the camera angles and the way the sound was mixed. Most everything was unhurried, simple and seemed to say, less is more.
Watch this movie.

July 08, 2006

Shelley...Your Kids Are So Damn Cute!

Time Flies When You Are Having Fun!

Okay, I don't think I told you about the parrot did I? Oh goes again. The other day I was up in the "parrot room" after hours. Kinky huh? I was trying to get the damn bird to say "Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!" and he was just laughing like a serial killer and saying "Tickle tickle tickle tickle!" over and over and over and over. So somehow he gets on my finger, on my hand and then on my shoulder. If only I had an eye patch and a hook! Arghhh matey! Swab the poop deck! Well, I decided to take the little turd over to a wooden chair and put him on that while I worked on putting freight away. So, I go over to the chair and lean over close to the top so the bird can just hop off and perch. Well, the bird just hopped up to my other shoulder and ta daaa kept doing that. I then bent over so he would have a closer look. Much to my chagrin...he hopped lower and perched in the middle of my BACK! Okay...I tried to straighten up...and did you know parrots have CLAWS?!! They do. Anyway, I'm cussing like a sailor, Boots (the parrot) is screaming "Tickle! Tickle! Tickle! like a deranged Auntie back from safari and finally I get down on my hands and knees all the while saying please God don't let this be on our video camera. The little SOB wouldn't get off my then by damn and hell I'd had ENOUGH! I stopped, dropped and rolled and the little feathered shit hopped off, I scooped him up and plopped him on the chair. All this done in ONLY 40 minutes.

Now...if that video makes Google I better get royalties!

Chemo Vacation

I went with Mom and Dad to the Oncologist on Thursday. After a chest x-ray we were to visit the Dr. and Dad was to get Zometa and chemo. We weren't looking forward to the chemo because Dad feels kind of blah. His eyes are tearing sooo badly. He went to the eye Dr. (for the first time in his life) and got his tear duct opened up on the right side and the Dr. told Dad that he doesn't even have a tear duct on the left side. Weird. Anyway, besides the constant tearing of the eyes Dad feels tired and a bit short of breath. He has had some increase in lower leg edema. TED hose seem to help a bit. And he started taking the Lasix pills regularly again. Dad also has some neuropathy pain, slight, in the tips of two of his fingers. There are many little, annoying things that are bothering him. Especially frustrating is the fact that he can't taste anything.
Much to our surprise, after waiting in the room for 45 minutes, the Dr came in and said, "How about a vacation from chemo for 3 months?" Of course we asked about the x-ray and the Dr said that it showed an increase in fluid in the right and the left side...which she attributed to the chemo. She stated that the tumor didn't appear to be bigger and that she thought a break in chemo would be beneficial. We were good with that. Dad will have to have Zometa every month...but that is side effects there. So the next CT scan/chemo will be in October, unless, the Dr. said, Dad begins to feel worse ie...bony pain etc... appointment will be around the second week of August.
Hopefully some of the side effects of that Taxotere will subside.

Oh yah...tonight Dad pointed out a series of hive like areas on his torso and leg...please not shingles I hope.

July 04, 2006

Walking For A Cause...that's BE-CAUSE I Wanna

Ever wonder what girls really do when they tell you they are going for an afternoon stroll down a dusty dirty country road under the hot hot sun of July??
Yah...they walk.
They might walk(even with a limp or a waddle it's still officially called a walk) with a copper mug full of Moscow Mule clasped tightly in their grimy little hands.

Limes floating in the potent magic potion brine of ginger beer and vodka only taste better when you are walking with your friend and her two dogs (one butt ass ugly...the other a dedicated crotch sniffer...the dogs I mean).

July 01, 2006

If You Do The Macarena It Better Be GOOD or Else!

My kid got kicked out of his baseball game. Not only the one he was playing in but his next scheduled legion game.

Here is the scene. Andrew bunts...a most beautiful bunt...and his first he tells me later. He gets to first and then manages to steal to second base on a catchers mishap. It's a tie game...we are in extra innings. There are now runners on 3rd and 2nd. Andrew, in his excitement, does a bad bad thing.

Yes, you guessed it...a tiny rendition of The Macarena...whilst standing on 2nd base.

Only moments later he is kicked out.

Yes, I said kicked out not thrown out because he strayed off base and was caught...kicked out...and I also said macarena not massacre. "I was trying to lighten up the mood" sayeth my son with downcast eyes.

good grief

June 29, 2006

Sore Eye

Dad has been having alot of tearing from his eyes...especially his left one. The oncologist suggested some eye drops and they help a bit but now they say...eye Dr. There is a side effect from Taxotere of tear duct blockage potential. So...right is using the drops and applying warm moist packs and we will see what happens.
He has an occasional loose sounding cough...but it seems to be related to the sinus drainage crap.
Weight good. Hgb...could be better...12 ish. PT/INR...stable. White count is low. No chemo this week. He has a CT scan next many more chemos??

I Have a Flat Tire

...and no tubes the right size!
I can ride the BRAN ride without a flat tire but let me take one spin around town and blammmoooo!

Not Too Funny

Unless you are NOT me. and you aren't.
Yes, I just finished cleaning up a toilet overload.
oh isn't it just too funny.
And just to make you giggle harder...the toilet was the UPSTAIRS one. Yes, not only did it overflow into the I was just going up to bed...yes you guessed flowed through the ceiling and flowed like a bladder dysfunctional cousin of mine...into my empty washroom...devoid of dirty poo poo clothes because I not only washed all freaking day but yes, I hung the mo fo's all on the line....uh huhhh...AND I'd just brought in the last load of clean laundry from the line about 2 hours ago. Fresh and sunshiny smelling. Fresh and dry and clean. yup
so funny.
so very very funny.
My wallpaper peeled off...the dust bunnies under the washer flowed out in couples like they were looking for an ark...I got pissy diryy toidy water on my head...and feet and ughhhhh!
Mark cleaned around upstairs while I handled the downstairs.
My freshly mopped smelling like new laundry room is now FILLED TO THE RIM WITH DIRTY PISSY WET STINKING CLOTHES THAT I JUST WASHED!!!!!
One good thing I can think of before I head upstairs to bathe the stench least we hadn't put up another ceiling tile since the LAST TIME THE TOILET UPSTAIRS OVERFLOWED!!!
Remember that one??

shitcakes on the house...anybody?

June 27, 2006

Yoo Hoo

Funny things happen everyday. Each and every day that is a fact. But I have no time to blog. Right now? I'm sitting here almost late to Andrew's ball game and half dressed and that is NOT a good thing cuz anybody might just walk right in and I would have to live with causing them permanant scarring to the brain be seeing me here at the computer.
There are some of the things I need to tell you about when
a) I am fully dressed and
b) I really have more time

1) The parrot singing a hymlike song in a voice something like Carol Channing and Ethel Mermon crossed.
2) The Tent
3) Cindy getting the "air pushed out of her"
4) Carpet cleaning
5) Donuts are my life
6) Energy jelly belly beans

June 23, 2006

Moo Moo Skeeter Dope

I'm thinking of drinking some red red wine.
But I'm damn tired.
Just finished Geek Love again...loved it. Sickenly so.
I've two yummy new paperback books straight from, smelling of new...still not dropped into my bath water begging me to read them. Right off hand I can't think what the names of them are. I think Water Witch is one and ... whatever.
I mowed my back lawn and hoed my garden after work tonight. I also got a MASSIVE skeeter bite on my calf. Just what I need...a MASSIVE skeeter bite on my MASSIVE BIG ASS CALF! I mean I could call my calf...a cow. Let's just calf cow and a telephone pole...are similar in girth.
When I was young we always called mosquito in...have you got any skeeter dope on?? or... Aaaghhhhh...I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! You got the damn skeeter dope in my eyeeeeeee!!

June 22, 2006

Chemo Day

Dad had Taxotere today. His labs looked good...though his hgb is only 12.1 and I'd like to see that higher. His PT/INR is stable and no med changes were made. His white count is a bit low and I don't remember that happening before.
I wasn't able to go today or last week either. Work is starting to close in on me. Next week dad has no chemo and the week after that...another CT scan and chemo and a Dr. appointment. Maybe then we will find out if he needs more chemo or he can take a break for awhile.
I wish only that Dad could taste food now. He really misses that. Everything tastes like crap, he says. He seems tired lately. He has a bit of a a sinus drainage type of cough. When he doesn't use his eye drops he has "drippy eyes" and "drippy nose". Tobredex QID seems to help with this. Dad says he wonders if he will ever get over the effects of chemo. He says he feels "fuzzy" and "not right". He doesn't seem to wonder aloud if he will ever get over the effects of lung cancer.

June 21, 2006

Cow Pie de jour

Next Time You See Cindy Sue:
Ask her if she got into a wreck with a van carrying cotton candy or is that just her hair do??

In other news...I'm thinking of creating a Shake or a Swirlie out of chocolate puddin'. I could name it...Cow a Bunga Look like Dunga Shake...if I use sugar free pudding maybe CowPie Swirlie Delight...maybe Here's Mud In Your Eye Cow Pie...McCurdy Turdy Shake...Turds Away!!! hmmmmm I wonder if you can deep fry pudding?
just a thought

PS...Jo Jo Dancing will suffer for mailing me that defaced and now devalued picture out of the paper...don't think you wont!

sooo sooo tired...

June 20, 2006

3 Weeks On 1 Week Off

That's the chemo far.
Dad looks good really...maybe a bit frail. I noticed today that his forearms are smaller. Generally his body just looks smaller. He weighs about 172 or so. Staying the same really. Just muscle mass shrinkage I guess. He occasionally has a productive cough. Not often. His hgb rose a bit up to 13 something this last time. I was glad to see that. His PT/INR is staying where the Dr's want it...between 2 and 3 for the INR. Dad occasionally takes Lasix for fluid in his legs...just prn and he also takes Potassium when he takes Lasix other than those meds...he just takes the weekly toxic waste. I wasn't able to go last time. Hopefully this week I can finangle it. I will be short staffed at work the first few weeks of July so that may be a problem.
I went out and used the weed eater aka Bush Hog at Mom and Dads this weekend. That place is a lot of yard work. Maybe going to be too much for them to handle soon. I'm not sure. I've always loved that place and I'd hate to see it sold to an "outsider" but I can see that eventually the work is going to be too much for Dad.

June 19, 2006

How Do They Know?

Okay...I'm so serious. I may be working my ass off all day at work then when I'm done the house, kids everywhere like stink on shit and when there is finally a quiet moment and all the little nose miners, some mine some not mine, are gone to the pool or the b-ball courts or the ball field or...whatever, when I'm not so tired that all I can think of is nappy nappy nappy, when I finally sit down at the computer desk and want to type up a blog entry what the hell do you know? The kids come back in like water through a New Orleans dike. Why? Do they sense my need to sit down at the computer? Better yet...How? How do they freaking know? Are they gifted with ESP?
In any time here is done now. Children are scrambling around like ants on a dirt mound.

June 15, 2006

It's Raining!

The boys baseball games were rained out even.
I want to lay in bed and listen to the storm.
...with a glass of wine and my latest old book of course...I'm reading Geek Love...which I love and have owned for several years. It's about two carnies who decide to breed their own freak show. The female is dosed with arsinic and amphetamines and other lovely drugs in order to produce sweet baby freaks. It works and the rest is...Geek Love.
Read it.
Must go now and enjoy the storm.

June 14, 2006

Piss Poor Painter Persists

I don't know about you but I tend to multi task. Like when I'm using the toidy...I ALWAYS end up changing the roll of toilet paper or wiping up the hairballs from the corners of the room! Today I painted my bathroom and washed every blanket we own and did about 699 other loads of laundry and hung them all on the line because as usual it's a bitch of a windy ass day and why heat up the house really. I also mowed some of our lawn and some of our non neighbors lawn (because no one lives there and no one mows there) because I decided to use that clothes line because it's a big four line one. Mine is only one little string and it always falls down when I hang up blankets.
Anywayyyyy I went into the newly painted bathroom to utilize the facilities and...whilst sitting there discovered that

A) my paint job suck ed
B) there were hairs to be gathered from the corners
C) there was NO toilet paper
D) wallpaper is sticky when wet
AND the most important thing I discovered...I CAN paint while I Pee as well as I paint when I don't therefore...I can now justify doing both at the same time!

BRAN 2006 done did that

Well, just a post about BRAN 2006.
Here are the CLIFF NOTES:
Night Before Day 1...We camped across from the tracks and since it is a MAJOR crossing and the engineers follow all horn blowing one slept a wink in camp. Not one hour of sleep!
Also...sadly, a BRAN rider hit a pothole near the tracks and ended up with a broken neck. More info available HERE. There is a benefit ride being organized and they are selling T-Shirts as well. Keep Larry in your prayers. Here is the message from the BRAN administration verbatim.

Hello BRANimals,
As you know, veteran BRAN rider, Larry Schroetlin of Butte NE was critically injured on BRAN 26 this year.
We recently received an e-mail from his cousin, Renee Brewster. Renee and her family will be putting on a ride in Butte on July 8th during their Pancake Days. The ride would be about 30 miles from Butte to Naper. For those of you who live in that area, please plan to participate! This would be a wonderful way to support one of our own.
Renee is also offering t-shirts for $10-$15 with mailing for those of us who can't make the ride. If you're interested in buying a t-shirt you can contact Renee at

Day 1...Broken Bow - Eustis I can't remember a better day for cycling. What Fun! I loved the rolling hills. We saw a rattlesnake on the road. We drank Takillya with the Jet Boys...and it was FINE...Or was that last night??? hmmmmm
Day 2...Eustis - Maywood...Rain to start off with. Great breakfast! We saw a porcupine...and he was either mad or rabid. He turned in circles alongside the road and waddled around like a pig! Long day in Maywood watching more rain come down. Today we drank beer with the Jet boys. It was good. Our tent stayed dry. We are nervous about being ready to host BRAN tomorrow night.
Day 3...Maywood to Cambridge (our home town!) Hilly, nice hard ride. We stopped at all the lakeroad stops and visited. We got back to our home...and I started working at the coffee shop and didn't sit down until 10:30 pm. Man did my legs hurt! and I was TIRED!
Day 4...Cambridge - Minden...We got a ride past the construction and rode in some wind up some long low hills. Pretty hot. I hate a straightaway. We stopped in Axtell and got kicked out of the supermarket BECAUSE OF THE JET BOYS! We drank one beer each in the park there and I wanted to turn in three circles and make a nest. But on we went to Minden...straight to Pizza Hut.
Mark picked us up there because I wanted to be at my dad's Dr. appointment the next day.
We decided 4 days was okay and that was the end of our BRAN ride. for this year.

June 12, 2006

43 Miles

Cindy and I rode the "section" today. South of Cambridge and then West to Lebanon then over a hilly North to Bartley and lastly East to Cambridge. Around mile 10 we saw a mule fact it almost ran into us! Around mile 20 we saw a white tail...again...almost crossing right in front of us. We also thought we saw an owl...and I know we saw a red headed woodpecker right about then too. We saw many different "weeds" which I think are beautiful but I know farmers would not. Wild gourd vines, purple headed grasses, musk thistle with big purple blooms, prairie cactus neon green with large yellow blooms, a brilliant pink clover type bloom and wild morning glory vines. Some of the yucca were blooming too. It was an awesome nature ride. Did I mention we saw a butterscotch colored fawn around mile 30?

Chemo Nose, Chemo Eyes, Chemo Tongue

Dad has been having some annoying side effects from the Taxotere. Mouth "soreness" but no sores, loose stools occasionally, and a rashy dry area on his forehead. His nose and eyes are "running" too. The worst thing? He can't taste anything. Since he can't smoke anymore and his food tastes like nothing he can enjoy none of his old vices whatsoever.
Mom and Dad saw Dr. Lewis mentor after his CT scan for possible treatment of those above symptoms. Dr. Mentor reviewed the chart, spoke with dad and basically said, These things will pass when the chemo is over.
The end.
Dad was satisfied.
okay then...
This week, when we went back up, Dad got another round of taxotere, zymeda and a prescription for eye drops He is using Aveeno lotion on his rash and that helps. The eyes are slightly better. His nose...still running. His is slightly forgetful. His bloodwork is good. His skin is still too dry. He has only a bit of a cough. He is taking his Lasix prn...but a bit more often lately. His weight was up to 176. He is eating well even though there are no discernible flavors...except maybe strawberry. We've tried having him eat a sour pickle before didn't work.
He got signed up for chemo through July! How many cycles are they going to give him? It sure would be nice if a Dr. would be available to visit with you once in a great while. I've read where they give up to 9 cycles...but hell...I don't even know how many Dad's had. Seems like a zillion or so. He started off with Taxol...had 4 of those...then we switched to Taxotere...and he's had alot of them.
I'm going to get some answers tomorrow by God or that clinic will regret it!

June 03, 2006

No Backing Out Now

Our tent is packed. The cooler is full. The kids are taken care of...I hope! The dog is worried. The both of us are tired as HELL. The anti monkey butt powder is ready!

No Backing Out Now

Our tent is packed. The cooler is full. The kids are taken care of...I hope! The dog is worried. The both of us are tired as HELL. The anti monkey butt powder is ready!

June 02, 2006

Good Report

We just got the CT results faxed to us and everything is "stable" so that's good. No growth, no new nodules. There is a bit of increase in the pleural effusion...but not significant. I wonder if that is due to the radiation or the chemo itself. EVerything else is the same.
Due to medication side effects Dad can't taste anything except raspberry jello and his hgb is 12.7 so he is a little more "run down" feeling I imagine. Maybe he will be done with this type of chemo now. I hope so.
He is supposed to see the oncologist on Thursday so maybe things will change at that time.
At least now I feel a little bit better about being gone for a few days on the BRAN ride.

I Done Been Training So Muchly I Be Fine!

Well, I guess things are lining up for Cindy and I to ride BRAN again. We have only a few bike miles under our belts and no big rides at all.
I think we will do just fine.
We ride hard...and I know we will laugh so much our abs will get a work out!
Don't worry about the little old heart cath that Cindy had. She is fine! Hell, she was loading and unloading big ass sacks of feed on her way home from the procedure! At least she didn't pick a bouquet of flowers with her ass on her way home from the hospital this time. Remember when she had her knee scope? She was on her way home from the hospital...still sedated a bit, her leg wrapped like a mummy from ass to toe, and they stopped off at a country auction?? Cindy sat quietly in the pick up...but soon she had to pee...and she was no weight bearing AND there were no toilets? Uhh guessed it...she "hopped" out of the truck, squatted like a giraffe getting a drink of water (one leg at an angle) and taa dahhhh...peed in the dirt! After she got back into the truck she noticed an odd itch and pulled out a lovely bouquet of wildflower that she'd managed to pick with her ass while squatting!
Well, anyway...we leave some time on Saturday...and will be coming home sometime shortly thereafter in an ambulance.
Don't know if I can do it this year...

May 31, 2006

Today For Something Completely Different...


and in other news...
I attempted to help my mama make frosting decorations for a cake tonight.
I honestly can say that my finished "pieces" S U C K - E D.

earlier this same day...
I mowed, weed eated and chased baby bunnies into the afternoon at my folks place. After the damn freight came in this morning to the shop and I put the crap up...I decided to surprise Dad by finishing some of the lawn work.
The score reads...Me...only took 5 hours, one broken self propelled 18 year old lawn mower, one giant Weed Buster, one wedge taken out of one shin (mine)...Bunny...WINNER! A baby bunny managed to leap into the back corner of the mower shed and hide behind every last thing one ever even thought one had in a lawn mower shed...and there he stayed. I tried poking, crawling, yelling, sweet talking, carrot dangling, side of the building no avail. Finally I gave up, dragged my sorry assed self to the house, made up a note from the "Lawn Mower Fairy" and went home to do 567 loads of laundry.

later this same day...but before the cake thing...
I went out to the lawn mower shed...and whaddya think I saw? Baby bunny laying across the threshold of the building like he now owned the place.
Go for it I thought.

May 30, 2006

Worth A Toss Or A Turn

The motel last night was terrible. I should have known we were in for it when we unlocked the door and the Harder than a BowFlexing Queens Ass double beds only came up to my shins. Mark looked like the Jolly Green Giant standing next to did I! Those sumbitches were not fit for sleeping on...or anything else for that matter. The humidifier air conditioner was sporadically spewing foul smelling dank "air" in an effort to cool the room. I tossed and turned all night. I hate motel rooms anyway. I have a thing about other peoples DNA being in my toe space. ugh....AND I hate nothing worse than to spy a strangers curly black pube doing ballet on the bathroom floor while I utilize the facilities.
The good news?
His left leg is about a quarter of an inch longer than the right one. When they removed the tumor it was close to the growth plate and it stimulated his growth. But the Dr. said it was okay and if it did become a ankles, knee aches problems...hip problems...they could just "Put a screw up through the ankle bone and stop the growth for a bit..."...WTF??!! Simple fix?? Yes...he assured sounds worse than it is. No Biggie!

OKAY!!!! That was worth a night of tossing and turning any night!

May 29, 2006

Not Long Till I'm a Full Time Resident!

...of a loony bin.
How busy can summer get? It isn't even summer yet people!!!
Medicine Creek Days is
I spent the morning cleaning up the outside of our coffee shop because the dance is held right there on main street. Of course we have benches outside and they are utilized. This is fine...except there was a multitude of spilled drinks, food, wrappers, gum wads and bits of broken glass, my windows were smeared beyond all smears and I hope my plants make it.
Then...I had to clean inside the shop. Get my order ready for the salesmen (they come tomorrow and I might be gone with Mark in Omaha) I'm hoping I have everything ordered I need for the BRAN ride buffet...and the goods I'm donating to the various dinners/breakfasts I'm involved in.
Being out of town tomorrow will be a bitch.
Alec has his leg check up tomorrow morning in Omaha...which I'm almost positive will be fine.
Anyway...more to bitch about but who gives a rats ass right?

1 Treatment Left...maybe

Dad got Taxotere last Wednesday and this next Wednesday he skips chemo (yayyyyy) and instead...gets a CT scan. Then in 2 weeks he gets the results of the CT and another treatment of ZOMETA. I hope the chemo is done now. Dad is getting knee aches and tongue burning along with the occasional hurling squirts (loose stools)...and food tastes like shit!
I noticed his forehead looks blotchy too.

May 22, 2006

226 or so

I've got about 226 miles in.
Not enough really...but I may do it anyway.
and suffer...hmmmmmmm still thinking.

Dingleberry Delight?

Well, I'm at work but making a quick post. I've been trying to plan for Medicine Creek bean queens...etc, the BRAN ride, the SEVERAL meals I have to
a) participate in as cook for
b) provide food for
c) order food for
d) plan our shop menu including ordering the goods and blah blah blah on it goes
e) plan the work schedule
f) plan around Alecs Dr appointment in Omaha for his yearly leg tumor check up
g) blah blah blah blah blahhhhh

I could use up the entire alphabet...

Summer is just a big fat dingleberry stuck to the crack hairs.

May 18, 2006

24...or something

Cindy and I rode to the junction and back. I can't really remember what day or the accurate mileage.

Here Is A Link For Your Boyfriend


If there was a mirror know what it would be...

Welcome Ladies...Spank My Ass is a personal assistant that helps you make your boyfriend or hubby happy by sending him a strip-o-gram on your behalf, on a regular but semi-random basis.

Sleepless & Here You Are

Dad had chemo today, and it went well. He tolerates the episodes of blue faced non breathing allergic reaction. Although, I wonder if the nurses would even notice. They are strictly, hang up the med, don't initiate conversation...Get the toxic waste pumped in.
I see now that maybe I really wasn't cut out to be a nurse. I talk too much. I try to get to know people...or at least I used to. Especially when they were having a procedure. I felt like it was my job to make people feel at ease. I don't think that is part of nursing anymore. Nope...Not even in a cancer center. Never a Dr. Around, never hardly ever any concern for anyfucking thing at all from anyfucking person there. Not only does it piss my off but it makes me sad. All the patents sitting there, Moms and Dads and Grandmas and Grandpas and Husbands and Wives...With IV bags of toxic waste coursing through their bodies, hoping for a decrease in tumor size while watching the food network, or some Mexican soap opera. Sitting there patiently, knitting, reading magazines, some alone...some with friends or family. The nurses work like robots. Sometimes they say...Would you like some water? or Sorry 'bout that or...did you need a Procrit shot today? As if the patient should be aware of all protocols and guess what...most have to I mean someone needs to keep track of something don't they? We all (the "old timers") learned that you bring in your food, snacks, drinks or comfort items yourself. These are not going to offered to you...Or if so...Very infrequently.
But...The landscaping looks nice.
A nest of robins tucked into the rain gutters catches the eye. The young birds are about to fly.
It gives one something to think about besides...Is this shit working? Am I going to have the patty melt or the Fiesta Chicken Salad at Perkins? Do I really have cancer or is this some fucked up nightmare!?

May 16, 2006

Flowers and a Bike Ride

After work Cindy and I went for a bike ride! It's been a long time (April 21) and it felt good! We went 26 miles and maybe talked ourselves into doing at least some of BRAN. Yesss! I hated to miss. Especially since it's going through Cambridge this year.
AFter the ride I planted flowers. I still need a boatload to finish this place and the shop.
Tomorrow...chemo day.

May 15, 2006

mental notes

tuesday...freight at 6:30...empty at shop...cindy b-day...arrange ass beating...housing board meeting 5pm
to do between midnight and 8am:

check cost of items from wholesaler:
50 lbs...hamburger...80/20
spag sauce...10 gallons
mozz cheese shredded...5 of 3 lb bags
lettuce shredded 2 bags of

check on donated bottled water....better yet...ask for crown royal and coke

check with I supposed to supply anything for that supper...??

will need to order oatmeal...toppings...bowls...spoons..for the buffet...cinnamon roll cake...granola?? trail mix??

must decide:
what are we going to do?? bran tuesday...mark burgers all day?? yes...have connie make enought buns...for....order enough hamburger for...deli bottles...onions...relish...ketchup...mustard...napkins...trash bags...check on this

wednesday...oatmeal buffet
arrange workers to be there...tuesday all day...extra??...wednesday...early...6 am...a booth down at the school with goodies...?? our t-shirts?? both chemo kearney with carla...check about donated bottled water from josh and any other items out
get computers taken care of

when can I plant my flowers? do my laundry? vacuum? sort the socks? exercise? watch tv? wash the bedding? catch my breath? take a break? ever get my house cleaned again before September? sleep in??

fuck it