March 30, 2006

Me So Cwazy

After I got done doing my thang at the coffee shop I came home and washed clothes and cleaned the floors and bathrooms...which seemed foul beyond belief.

Later...I made supper

then...I made a couple of signs for the shop on the computer

Later...I printed them out.

Soon...I may go for a walk.

I know...you are jealous of my wild and crazy ass life and want to be me.

March 29, 2006

News in Brief


Dad had chemo today and it went well.
The wind is blowing like a five dollar ho.
My fingernails are nil.
I'm growing zits as fast as I'm going gray.
I NEED to clean my house...deep clean my house.
I hate my hair.
I love SweeTart Ropes.
I forgot to go to church tonight.
I got new bike clothes in the mail.
They cling to my fat rolls like the dust clings to my ceiling fans.

shit

I just finished reading My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Piccoult...god it was good...but it got me to thinking about the scare we had with Alec and his leg bone tumor. In fact, it threw me totally back into the ER the night we found the tumor...the feelings of total fear, sickness just came back like they'd never went away. I don't think, actually, that particular fear will every go away. Alec is due for a check up. A one year check up...tumor free...this April. His awesome super dooper surgeon...died this last summer. I read about it at the State Swim Meet. I just opened up the Omaha World Herald and I saw his obituary in the paper. He had prostrate cancer. That was a shock and a half.

So Far So Good

Dad had an appointment today with the oncologist and glory be...we got to see the Dr. herself!
Dad's blood was drawn (INR...2.3 not bad), his case discussed and the decision was made to continue with chemotherapy. The Dr. thought she wanted to go ahead with Taxol again but said, "My nurses may stone me". We all confered at the chemo room doorway and the decision was made to give Taxotere instead. Dad also needed his Zymeta and would probably be getting another Neulasta shot.
The chemo room was hopping. It looked like our coffee shop at home...every seat taken and more arriving every minute. People were in various stages of rest in their recliners. Many talking, some sleeping, knitting, reading...and us? We eat. I went to Sonic, got Dad a chocolate shake, coffee, bacon hamburger and fries, got Mom chicken strips, fries and black coffee, me? I forgot. I shared some of Moms.

Guess what? Dad tolerated the entire procedure so well I had to pinch myself. I can only hope it continues in this manner. I hope he doesn't get the bad aches and pains and other side effects listed.

Last time he got Zymeta he couldn't even move his arms for about a week he hurt so badly. Of course that could have been pain from the blood clots in his right lung, the side effects from his Neulasta, his chemo or god knows what else. It's hard to say.

Hope it goes better this time.

Cross your fingers.

He's supposed to get chemo again in 1 week, blood draw in 1 and 2 weeks and 2 days after that...another CT scan...and then another chemo.

The oncologist said the x-ray was dramatically improved.

March 28, 2006

Hello, I'm a Turd

Some days make you feel as if you are about as necessary to life as a piece of dog shit and today was just such a day.

March 24, 2006

Pushing Buttons in All The Right Places!

I was privilaged to watch Cindy Sue get worked over by a reflexologist the other day. It was something else. He tortured her feet...gave her an energy buzz in her knee and told her that her "immune system" was between her bazookas...otherwise known as her "apples". Cindy frowned and said...I thought that was my cleavage! Anyway...she did get a backrub out of the deal as about 10 people watched.
The relexologist motioned for me to get up on the table after he'd finished massaging Cindy's "immune system buttons" and I declined.

I'm shy people...you know that!

Besides...my feet were sweaty and probably smelled like dirty diapers. Also...my "immune system" felt just fine THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

March 23, 2006

Smell The Summer Breeze

I think summer is here.
Even though there is 8 inches of melting snow on the streets it feels like summer.
The kids think so. They are "pushing" buttons and stretching limits and there is the smell of cut grass on their clothes.
Kids are flocking to our home, chip bags and cereal bowls are scattered haphazardly around the rooms. Circles of juice glasses mar the tables. The pantry is bare. There is an air of carefree in their attitudes.
Not mine.

Sometimes it feels like I live in a dorm.

I've gotten old and I dread...no hate the thought of this school year ending.
I don't know if I can deal with it this year.
I may have to start drinking valium prozac smoothies.
Take up yoga.
Entertain achieving nirvana.
Visualizing...eternal peace...ahhhhh...or....better yet...

Renting my children out

March 22, 2006

A Letter I Fancy Writing

Dear Dr. Lewis,

My name is Sheryl McCurdy and my Dad, Larry Paisley, your patient, was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer, grade IIIa in November 2005. We have seen you one time in your office...the initial visit. Thereafter we have been seen by the chemo nurses and your Nurse Practitioner, all of whom are very nice.

My dad's regime included 33 radiation treatments given concurrently with Taxol/Carbo q 3 weeks, and the order was for 6 treatments. Each time the Taxol would start, almost instantly, my dad would have difficulty with his breathing, but after a healthy dose of Benedryl and a dose of Solu Medrol he would be fine and tolerated the treatments quite well. After the fourth dose, again, the same thing occurred, and the nurse did something different...an O2 sat was taken which was <85. An O2 sat had never been checked before, but my dad reacted in the same manner each time. Anyway...side note to this...dad also had blood clots in his right lung at this time (which we knew by receiving phone calls from your nurses and eventually...you)

To make this long story even longer...here goes. After dad had that reaction, the fourth time, the nurse came up and said,


This will be your last chemo treatment...it's too dangerous.

Well, it felt like, and I admit I was a bit crabby with the slowness of the giving of the Benedryl, that it was not because of dads reaction...it was because of me and the way I reacted to things. Because there was no difference in dad's reaction this time than the very first time...except the giving of the benedryl was slower and an O2 sat was taken.

Dr. Lewis, we don't want to feel like the treatment was stopped because it requires a little bit more planning or because I was impatient or crabby to anyone...if the treatment is working and tolerable we feel we need to continue.

I did ask the nurses who made the decision to stop the chemo and she said it was, you...Dr. Lewis. We never saw you that day...where you there? Did you stop by and check on my dad? His family? Reasure us that something would be done to continue to fight the cancer, maybe not this particular drug but something else?
Can you please tell me what the future plans are? Will you use a different chemo? Will you try the Taxol again? The CT scan seemed good...or am I crazy. How was the X-ray? Are the clots there yet?

I know we were supposed to have an appointment on Monday, and due to a horrific snowstorm those plans were changed, but time becomes something very important for all those involved in an illness that includes the word cancer.

If you have an extra minute or two in your extremely busy day we would appreciate any information pertaining to the above questions.


Thank you,
Sheryl McCurdy
(daughter of your patient Larry Paisley)

March 21, 2006

There Wasn't A Warning Label I Swear!

If ever you are in a situation where you must use a heat gun to dry your hair I want you to remember this one small thing.
No matter what DO NOT USE THE HIGH SETTING. And if you, purchance, do use the high setting if you hear something that sounds like...crackling. Your instant response should be...STOP DROP AND ROLL!


that's about all I'm going to say about that.

March 19, 2006

Snow Day

We will have to cancel Dad's appointment for tomorrow, the first day of Spring, because of a freak snow storm.
All is well though. Dad is due for a blood draw (PT/INR) and Zymeta again(possibly) on Wednesday.

Welcome Spring!

Moods Driven By Barometric Changes...or not

Time goes on.
I make coffee and time for laundry, mostly.
Going out? ha
joke
don't things sometimes seem so old and musty and dusty you can't take it anymore and then you realize it's you and your ideas
Guess I'm at mid life crisis.
Just waiting for the hot flashes to begin and then I'm like, "Thatssss me".
Now I just have the life reflection thing going on.
You know...when you scan back over your bedraggled life and assess what good deeds you've done, could you earn your wings should you die before you wake sort of thing.
Looks fairly bad in my case.
Wingless and sunburned.
No fluffy cloud like apparatus foreseen
No heavenly harpsichord music to serenade me into pleasant slumber.
Just the clatter of teenaged voices, petulant, accusatory and tween whining
My heaven boasts many such lullabies

March 16, 2006

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

Today I went to visit Cindy Sue and look at her new living room carpet. As I pulled up into the driveway I saw a dead cat smiling up at me perched on the edge of the sidewalk with one paw (cause that's all he had left) pointing toward the door, his little mouth parted as if to say, Hello dear friend, welcome...right this way! I got out of my car, stepped over the greeter and was instantly given a hump of joy from Annie the gargantuan 10 month old golden retriever. She leapt up to kiss me hello, took a little love bite from my arm fat and off we went to the front door...her right behind me. Luckily Flash, the ugliest old lop eared hound you ever did see, could not reach my ass with her nose because one is enough really. After that enthusiastic greeting I would not have been surprised to see Cindy walk out with a dead possum and present it to me topped with a steaming pie crust. After I admired the carpet...which was awesome and looked soft enough to make carpet angels on we went for a walk. We took the dogs and that was fun. Well, fun wasn't really the word I meant to use. What I meant to say was, we walked a bit on a dirt road with the cold wind blowing 60 mph and visited a bit while herding Flash from straying into thickets and watched Annie eat unknown origin turds. Really though, it was a cool place to walk and hopefully we can do it again when it is nice out.
Alec's birthday is in two days. Twelve years ago, March 18th, the Dr's were thinking...hmmmmmmm wish we had a calf puller... twelve years ago I was thinking...hmmmmmmm wish we had a calf puller.
Twelve years ago we had just bought this now falling down around us house, just found out Mark was a diabetic, just had our last baby, had a helluva good house warming party with our friends (who were by the way sick of moving our asses from home to home)...hard to believe how much has changed since then.

March 15, 2006

Thin Again

We went to Kearney today for a chest X-ray and bloodwork and breakfast at Perkins! Dad's bloodwork was not too bad really. He is still "thin"...by a "tad" and has to abstain from his coumadin for 2 days then resume. I imagine they will have to lower his daily dose. He has another blood draw in a week. We go back to Kearney on Monday to talk with the oncologist (or her NP) about treatment options etc....
We saw quite a few sandhill cranes on our way to and from Kearney. They are SO BIG...and awkward looking. I didn't realize how gawky and teenager like they were until this year. Mom and I also got a bridal shower gift bought and Alec's birthday present bought. Productive day.

It's Ugly But It's Got a GREAT Personality!

I talked to a carpenter about fixing our falling down front porch and south facing falling off our house but still barely clinging on window frames...windows included too...sadly.
He asked me, as he penciled the figures and glanced around at our other "personality ridden home features" including but not limited to: falling down deck(s), leaking roof(s), sway backed floors, unfinished ceiling if we might want to "just build a new one"
hahahahahahahah
oh boy
oh yah
goodie
ahhghghghghghgh

March 13, 2006

Mission Accomplished...sort of.

Even though we were unable to win the semi finals game at the state basketball tournament...not all was lost.
We got a prom dress out of the deal. It's a red sequined, white full skirt poofy style meringue and looks very nice on Katie. Mark didn't try it on.
This is kind of it...I must take a picture and post that soon.



The fact that basketball is over makes me weep...HAPPY TEARS OF JOY! I mean, could we be on the road just a little bit more? Please Please Please!


On a side note....do you ever wonder why a plug in has one prong that is a bit wider than the other one? I'm sure there is a reason. Why do I ALWAYS attempt to plug the wider end into the narrower slot? Why? Why? Why? I know it's a little thing but it drives me insane!



I discovered a new quaff that is yummy. Of course it's one of those ever popular "energy" drinks but I confess...I like it anyway. Good old TAB.

March 09, 2006

Holy Shit I'm Tired!

We Won We Won We Won We Won!
...by 1 point in overtime yet even.
Talk about an exciting game! I cannot even think when I saw another game so heart pumping head throbbing thrilling...
We play tomorrow at Pershing at 1:30.
Tune in for more info later.
Here is a link to one article. in the journal star.

Also...on another note. Andrew informed me today and then demonstrated to me that he would eat and unbelievably has eaten cereal,namely, Fruity Pebbles only the generic kind with jolt soda poured over them instead of milk.

No Wonder...good God almighty!

March 08, 2006

Skin This!

Damn...I can't get my skinning to skin and I've no time left.
We are going to Lincoln around 6am tomorrow to watch the boys play basketball. Alec is the "stu ma" and he has to be there to "scout" the other teams...grrrrr. The game starts at 11.
I'll have to work on my template another day.

March 07, 2006

25 miles (give or take a mile)

My speedometer doesn't work so I'm not totally sure. Today was beautiful and I felt like my legs were working. A bit of a gusty NE wind but it felt good to push it. We rode the straights again. Building our endurance slowly but surely. On the last leg of the ride I heard a popping noise...you all know...flat. I'd run over a nail and it pierced tbe tire. Great. I haven't gotten any new tubes since the Century ride last year so I'm done now. Until I can get another wheel. Hopefully Thursday when I'm in Lincoln for the Boys State B Ball Tourny we can swing by the Bike Rack and I can look at some goodies there. I need a new mirror, new handlebar tape and maybe a mountain bike or two...hee hee.

Mundane

The news is disturbing.
Dana Reeves dead at 44 from lung cancer.
Shocked me really.
I'm not sure why. Except she just seemed to look so..."Alive" and healthy whenever she appeared on TV. I know I know...make up, lighting etc. Anyway, now the news is all about "The Silent Killer"...lung cancer.
I hate that.
Although I did hear some facts about Dad's cancer that were not gloomy and full of doom by watching CNN and then following up on them. I still hate to turn on the tube and hear all this shit about smokers and cancers and non smokers and cancers.
Radon, food preservatives, asbestos and soon sexual intercourse will be linked to cancer. It will be If you ARE around these things you will get cancer...then...If you ARE NOT around these items you will get cancer...then...over and over and over.

I did not get to play volleyball tonight for the second time in a row. I'm probably excommbitchunicated or something like that by now.

I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 4 am to Katie's alarm clock screaming. She had to leave for Maxwell at 5:30 for district speech contest. I know...Ridiculous to leave yourself 1 1/2 hours to get ready. But if you saw Katie's room you just might understand that. Probably takes her that long just to find her closet. Sooooo....anyway, I got up and lolled around and finally went to work around 6ish. Freight day you know. I baked and I put stock away and I made the coffee. Cindy Sue worked with me and we gabbed and decided to bike ride after work. I was working on mile 24 or 25 when I heard a bad noise. Kind of like the noise my car made last week. Popcorn. Of course it was a flat in the making. I stopped and spotted a NAIL protruding through my back tire. Great. We were about 1 mile away from Cindy's vehicle so she peddled her ass up the highway and came back and got me. I'll have to get a new wheel which means 2 new wheels...so they match of course. Maybe when we are in Lincoln for the boys State Basketball meet I'll get to the Bike Rack. Since a major road construction project will be in place from Cambridge to Holdridge all during the BRAN ride(starting now) I expect I should get many many extra tubes.

Moms back is...about the same she says. I wish she would get an x-ray to check it out.

Dad has a blood draw tomorrow and that is just here in Cambridge so no traveling for me...yet.

We will have to leave Thursday early am to get to Lincoln. Alec is one of the student managers and they are supposed to be there early enough to fill the water bottles before the 11am game. He tells us he is to be there by 9:30. Oh boy. Let's see...it takes 3 hours or so to get to Lincoln...you do the math. gag

I've got to make several pans of cinnamon rolls in the am for an early morning order so I should get to bed now. Mark and Andrew are watching some war movie that I despise, Katie is in bed (she got 5th at district in poetry although that doesn't qualify for state she did improve...yayyyy) and Alec is up to something I'm sure.

March 06, 2006

Girls Scout Cookies Cause A Fall

Dads blood appears to have become a bit more "thick" and that is good. No worries about a paper cut now. His coumadin is at 2.5mg po q day and he gets his regular cbc check on Wednesday...so I imagine they will check a PT/INR too.

Bad note...Mom fell down on the hard pavement of her back porch. She was on her way to water her rooster and was hurrying back inside because she saw a car turn into her drive and thought it was the girl scout she had ordered cookies from.
Yes...I said rooster as in A rooster. Mom and Dad have one chicken and lucky for them...it's a cock a doodle doing rooster.

She has a metal plate and so many screws inside, her x-rays look like a hardware store. She had a spinal fusion in 1988.

Anyway, they came over for supper tonight and it looked like Mom was a hurting unit. She didn't eat much and that is not like Mom. She probably needs to be seen in the clinic and have an x-ray tomorrow.

March 05, 2006

HELP me out please!

Have you read THE MEMORY OF RUNNING yet? You should because it's good. A man, feeling his life closing in on hime, starts to ride a bike across the USA. I really loved it. I love weird reads though and this one was somewhat strange.
On another note...I keep thinking about getting a mountain bike now. I think I could ride more without worrying about getting a flat. But...maybe not. The roads here suck and especially the shoulders though...it's a toss up. What does everyone think? Do you like to ride Mountain bikes? Would it be a good way to ride across Nebraska? Should I stick to Terry? Help me out here.

March 04, 2006

Hoop De Doo Doo

Well, I've been busy.
Dad had chemo on Wednesday and Thursday we took off to watch our girls play basketball at the State Tourney in Lincoln. We won our first game against Wauneta Palisade Thursday night advancing us to the semi finals at Pershing where we faced Cross County last night. Sadly we lost. All in all a nice year for the girls though. And..somehow...surprising the HELL out of me...Cambridge won the...get this...ahem...drum roll please...SPORTSMANSHIP AWARD! Holy crap I almost laughed my ass off. Not that we are unsportsman like you understand. It's just that...well...the Cambridge crowd if far from shall we say...quiet. Many love to give their opinions and frequently do. Also...there are many wannabe coaches who sit among the fans and scream shrilly and muchly and annoy the piss out of me. Anyway...we(me, Mark, Andrew) picked up Katie at 10 am from where the team had been staying and off we set to try and catch Alecs basketball tournament in Holdridge.
Oh boy.
Of course we made it. Not that I mind but really I mind...Just kidding.
Basketball is MY LIFE.
Alec was on the floor more than he was on his feet. He is covered in bruises. And man does he feel cool. He had an ice pack on his elbow AND his ankle at one point. When he was on the bench waiting his turn, due to sweating so much while hoopin' it up he practically scrubbed his face off with the dirty towel they use to wipe the floor with.
We finally got home just in time for me to do 2,356 loads of laundry.

Explanations re chemo 4

Well, chemo number 4 pulled no surprises really. First we got to the office, had Dad's bloodwork drawn and waited. We expected the PT/INR to be high and boy was it...still spinning without clotting at 8. The lab came in and drew another tube and sent it to the hospital for clarification as their machine only goes up to 8. The oncologist want's Dad's INR to be around 2(ish).
After the okay to go ahead with the chemo they got Dad's IV started and the NP decided to hydrate him first with a little "saltine"(saline solution) as Dad calls it. Also they would give his Solu-Medrol right before they dripped the toxic waste through his veins. They hoped this would help aleviate his "reaction" to the Taxol. Well, of course, it didn't. Only this time his nurse was...S....L.....O....W.....to get his benedryl....in fact she was too slow to suit me and I had to get angry and yell a bit and cause a scene. Damnit! They should've had that benedry drawn up and taped to the IV bag. I sure as hell would have if I knew a patient usually had a reaction. GAAAAGGHGHHGGHHG that pissed me off! The nurses also checked an o2 sat...which they never had before and of course it was < 85. They put on O2 at 2 liters per nasal cannula as well. The "reaction" lasted about the length of time it usually does. Soon afterwards one of the chemo nurses came up and said...That's the last chemo you are getting it's too dangerous. THAT PISSED ME OFF TOO!! It was like...You have been a bad boy and since it's too much trouble to give you chemo we are not going to give you any more! I asked her...who has decided this? Because the Dr. wasn't even in house. They called the Dr. I guess. I said...We are not going to "quite" giving chemo because of this. We may quit this kind but we are not going to just give up on the chemo if Dad needs it! She agreeed with me and then she said, Well, maybe the Dr. will look at the records and try it again or blah blah blah. And I thought yah...maybe she just will...or maybe we will just go somewhere else!!!
shit
All in all...we left home about 8 am and got home around 8:30 pm as the rest of the med had to be dripped in slowly. It was a long day for everyone. Mom felt kind of sick and fluish. HOpe she will not get that crud.
Dad needs to get his PT/INR drawn on Friday and he will await instructions re his coumadin then. Right now it's on hold. He got a vitamin K shot and a Neulastin shot right after his chemo.

March 01, 2006

It's Chemo numero 4

16 miles

Cindy and I rode to Bartley and back yesterday. Wind in our faces to and at our back from. It was fine. My legs felt pretty strong...my "wind" needs work though. No allergy attacks yet. The right side of my right foot is bothering me and I don't know what to do about it. Very painful. I think when I "rest" I put that foot down in the pedal and lean on it. I must break that habit. Didn't see anything good by the roadside unless you count a dead fox with a beautiful tail. Cindy should've taken it home to keep the dead possum company that "lives" in her yard. Oh well...next time.

Days and Daze

It's...chemo in Kearney we leave at 8 a.m. and get back home around 6pm/Alec has to accoylyte for communion tonight/I'm supposed to help decorate the locker room, bus etc for the girls state b-ball send off/maybe bake some cookies or something/should go to church tonight day.

Unable to compute that.

Yesterday was...make the donuts earlier than usual/it's early morning FREIGHT/put away the early morning freight/busier than a cat covering up crap at work/ride the bike 16 miles/try to play volleyball/car sounds like popcorn/bake 6 dozen cookies for an order/help your son until midnight with his homework...day.

When will it be...sleep in/eat what you want/wear your pajamas 'til noon/watch a movie/read a book/scratch/yawn/take a nap/eat a snack/go to bed day?