December 06, 2006

Meet Bertha

Yup...that's Bertha...the pretty sparkly big as a fat lady in the circus Christmas tree...noooooooo not the big fat lady...the BIG AS A FAT LADY IN THE CIRCUS KISSMAHASS TREE!!
She's a Capricorn, likes bacon, pancakes and eggs for breakfast and walking in the rain. She's partial to cat piss perfume and she likes to do death defying belly flops on ceramic tile floors. She's big and she's beautiful thanks to a whole crew of Hamels. Kurt, bless his pea pickin' heart, went to a lot of work picking out the biggest, most bestest badd ass tree he could find, chopped it down with a Paul Bunyan axe and with the help of Bustin Justin Puddin' Haid and big brudder Bessie dropped it off at my door, left the car running, pushed the doorbell and sped like hell down the road Ho Ho Hoing as loud as you can imagine.
Thank you boys!@!!$$%^#@@#$

Thank you Cindy Sue aka Fuzzy for coming over and helping a decorating impaired vinegar headed blonde make a Christmas tree come to life!!!

ps...Bertha took a nose dive today and got a few boo boos (not to mention the old bag who had to pick her big tree lard ass up and put her(meaning Bertha) back into the naughty corner...)

Anywayyyyy...what's a few more cedar needle sticks in the eye, my eye, my eye...sokay but thass my last col beer.

1 comment:

Lori Lou said...

Only you could make that story as funny as it was! Thanks for the laugh!!