Katie Turns 17 Today

I took Katie and some of her friends on a prom dress tryathalon and mall razing. I desperately needed another old broad with me to counteract the young but it was not to be. After work, in the Durango(yes the one I hit a non moving brightly painted yellow post with) we set off. Me in the front driving...the rest...in the back. I was the antiyoung and to be avoided until the necessity for moolah reared it's ugly head. First stop...a bridal/prom dress/ shop....and when I say "shop" I mean micro sized shop that was swarming with young girls and tired old ladies with very empty pocketbooks. The girls tried on foofy dresses and slinky dresses and generally about every dress in that place. No takers though. Then it was off to the mall where I was quickly abandoned in Herbergers. There, I wandered around, found some jeans in size three axe handles and a shoebox wide that fit me(sadly) and stood in line to be checked out. As I stood there, the friendly clerk that was "checking" chatted it up with the customers in front of me. Catching up on all sorts of interesting news, long overdue I guess because the conversation began to stretch out and out and out and out and out and...meanwhile the other teensy tiny, blonde, wannabe perky, tightly panted with ass crack waving a generous HELLO clerk remained squatted right beside the cash register inserting one hanger after another hanger into a box. Yes, I know it's an IMPORTANT and VERY DIFFICULT job...hanger insertion...I mean you could very well PUT AND EYE OUT...dear God in heaven let it not happen today...but couldn't she have unraveled those legs, stood up, tucked her ass into her size 0 jeans and WAITED ON ME??!! We ended up our shopping frenzy at a place called KINGS buffet...a Chinese place I'd never been to. The place was swarming with obesity, as most buffets are. We were shown a table, a Chinese lady took our drink order, which due to my poor hearing, I couldn't understand a word of what she said to us. Luckily the girls could. They immediately jumped up and headed over to the buffet. I soon followed, ducking a 400 pound man and a women with oxygen. There were over 100 items steaming on the hot tables. I quickly grabbed up some newly added stuff and went to our table. We had been eating about 5 minutes when the waitress came up, spoke to us, took my plate and left. As I was still chewing my food it took me a while to say...Wha? The girls laughed and shot Chinese food out their noses. We ended up getting there, eating, paying and leaving within a space of 10 minutes. Of course, I was still hungry and made a candy stop at a gas and heave along the way. Good thing for those new three axe handle jeans but maybe I should've bought size three axe handles and two shoebox wide.

Bitch Posse Rides Again...sorta

Okay, here's a blast from the past. I am going to play volleyball with some of the bitch posse again! This could be a scene from hell. Imagine if you will A gym full of young strong talented women bumping, setting, spiking and serving volleyballs in their body hugging outfits. You can almost hear the slam of the ball as it strikes the floor. The whoops of joy at an ace serve. Then imagine, if you will, a group of motley old broads with baggy shirts and big girl shorts clinging to their thundering thighs, wandering into the gym. Instantly you catch the scent of fried food and bengay. You think, are these the janitors? You walk up and as you get closer you notice margarita salt on the front of their sagging shirts. You hear something that sounds like an accordian...and then notice that it's just one of the woman breathing. You see this group of spider veined woman are sporting knee pads that have seen better days...not to mention the women. You get the picture? Yah...only too well I'm afraid.

Another Day Another Donut

Busy day, maybe long day is best how to say it. Early morning freight, which you all know is one of my favorite things to do...next to drinking meal replacement shakes that is. Petie looks guilty everytime I look at him. Something is up people. He is hiding something...and what could it be?? Hmmmmm perhaps a Petie turd? or better yet...maybe he got into Pickles litter box looking for a creative way to get fiber into his diet. If I find it and you know I will...I'm going to wrap it up in a festive box with a bright shiny ribbon and then I'm going to write: TO: Shelley From: Yur Friend Because Shelley...is a mean little woman when she is bored and out of beer. Man...I wonder if she will feel bad when I tell her that my car wouldn't start after she SCOTCH TAPED MY KEYS to my teethbrush, a roll of athletic tape, and a jingle bell and then encased the whole works inside a coccoon of pharmacy tape suspending the entire object from a doorjam. Probably not. Anyway...I lied...my car started...then. It's only NOW that my car is still at my folks house flashing THEFT ALERT THEFT ALERT THEFT ALERT and not starting. Another bright note in a day that was just RIDDLED with brightness.

Nothing Funny Here

I haven't felt like posting much. Just busy, and thinking that even the 5 or 10 minutes I waste doing it could be spent in other ways. Jogging would be good, or even walking or maybe just napping...eating...would be nice but that's another story. I totally supersucked at my diet the past few days. That back pain was a wonderful good appetite suppressant but couldn't I just NOT EAT! Wouldn't that be easier? Ahh well. Much of the past few days has been dedicated to basketball. Andrew and Alec had an all day tournament on Saturday...by all day I mean from 8:30 am until 8:30 pm. Sunday, we traveled to Loomis, about 1 hour away for more b-ball. Because we just can't get enough! Can you comprehend that fact?! Sunday morning I took all the Valentine decorations down at the shop and redecorated with St. Patrick green. That took me about 3-4 hours believe it or not. Then, it was time to do to Loomis. Mom and Dad went with us. Andrew and Alec played at the same time, different gyms. My timing sucked too. Everytime I went into the "other" gym my kid was done playing. Today, Dad was having shoulder joint pain so after I opened up the shop I went to their house and did some of Moms housework while I tried to figure out what was going on with Dad. I never really did figure it out. We may have to call the oncologist tomorrow. We are going there on Wed for another CT scan, bloodwork, check up with the oncologist and radiologist anyway but I don't understand this pain. Could it be pleural effusion pain? Radiation induced? Chemo related? Arthritis? A fart crossways? Seems like the days just fly by. I am occasionally dreaming of a vacation in the mountains or an island.

Snow Thank You

My outside wind chimes are ding donging around so much it sounds like a perpetual avon lady is waiting on my doorstep. Snow, perhaps tonight. Today I finally packed away my collection of snowmen and my Christmas village. I cleaned all day. Hard. And...I got one room done. yah. one room Insignificant little drop in the bucket that is. Discouraging.

Funny Thing Happened Today...NOT

After I got off work I cripped home. Since school was out for the day I expected an extra kid or two and I was not surprised. As I opened the front door I saw two little nose miners sitting on my couch and they didn't belong to me. They were, however, totally engrossed in a movie that was blaring loud and clear and they were watching...BAND CAMP. Of course I didn't know that when I opened the door...I just saw a part of the movie with a strategically placed hat...I immediately asked, loudly and incredulously, What are you watching!? While wondering, Who the hell are you?? and Whose parents will I have to call now? And then, after taking 5 steps into the house, noticing who the kids were and then asking...Where is Andrew? after noticing he was not around. And then I began trying to turn the show off. The kids answered, Band Camp and they said, Andrew said we could watch it...surprised I would dare to turn it off. Where is the hostest with the mostest I asked? Upstairs they indicated. I hollored up the stairs for Andrew to come down and take the DVD off the TV ASAP as I couldn't seem to operate the damn DVD player. Andrew came down, said, Sorry, that isn't my DVD so it's Katies fault. Katie stated, That is NOT my DVD...it's so and so's...I borrowed about a month ago and forgot to give it back...blah blah blah de blah blah. Suddenly, I was the only one in the room...except for Petie. I followed the empty glasses around the rooms...no one. They were all outside playing football...with something...I'm not sure I want to know. ...and these kids have almost every Friday off from now until school is out. good grief

Back Again

Nothing can compare to the scent of browning hamburger and Bengay. Nothing except, of course, a sumo wrestler...but that's another story. In other words...my back is O U T. I think the combo of riding in the car for those 3 hour stints added to frequent bleacher ass is finally taking it's toll. I feel the best when I walk bent over at the waist as if I were looking at the ground. Mark quite enjoys my new comfort position. I cannot wait to try and work tomorrow. Friday. Dollar Mark Burger Day. Mayyyybeeee we won't be busy though. And maybe I can use a wheelchair to bring the meals up from the back room.

Here's A Valentine Gift That Will Go Over

HUGE

Too Tired

to post. cept this... Powered by Castpost

Shake This!

Today started at 5am as usual and my doesn't the world look lovely at 5 freaking am. Of course I accidentally ate a day old donut. My excuse? It was the only one left, it was lonely, I didn't think, I was just passing by and it fell into my mouth, it was PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING and I couldn't just throw that away could I??? That started my day off with a sumbitch and a damnit. The next several hours are blurs of laughter and pain. Cindy Sue laughing at me while I kept getting hurt at work. That byotch! Some examples of my injuries are as follows: the "drug delivery guy" RAMMED into my right calf with his cart and said, Oh did that hurt and laughed!! I said, Well, I know my legs are the size of REA poles but YES THAT FUCKING HURT YOU IDIOT BOY!!! Not really but I thought it. I did give him the dreaded Stagemeyer look and to my delight he got the hell out of the shop and left. Loser. Next, as I was cleaning up the shop a sign fell off and practically pushed my eyeball out the backside of my head. No problem, I can see just fine. I got one other eye don't I?? The whole time I was getting injured, Cindy was LAUGHIN HER ASS OFF! Not only was she laughing she was whipping up something in the blender that looked suspiciously like a goddamn meal replacement shake. Sure enough, as soon as the blender stopped she poured that shit into a cup, tapped the table with a spoon and said, Come and get it! Your lunch is ready! Damn... Sooooo I drank the rank tasting vile crap shake. It tasted like chalk, milk, water and that gooey paste you use in kindergarten. Which, by the way, are indeed, the main ingredients in meal replacement shakes. yuck In other news: Well, the junior high boys basketball team looked a LITTLE different today. Kind of like it was the first game of the year. Andrew did not have a good game at all, compared to how he has been doing. Anyway, at the end of the 3rd quarter it was like...8 to 30 with us at 8. We ended up coming close but at the end it was us 38(ish) and them 45(ish).

I Got A New Dawg! Sundog That Is...

Photo taken on Sunday coming home from Elm Creek basketball tourney. Doesn't look like an empty field does it? Reminds me of an ocean.

Take Me To A Liquor Store and Pick Me Up Tomorrow

Don't ask about the diet for this weekend please. Concession stand lunches AND suppers are quite conducive to bigg ass bleacher butt. Yesterday consisted of basketball from Southern Valley(Andrew had a junior high tournament starting at 10 am) to North Platte (Katie had a game). You do the math. I have to say that I am surprised at how well Andrew is doing at basketball. I credit the coach for inspiring him. Andrews always been one who was "on the fringe". Just almost there but not quite. And if Andrew doesn't do something well...he just doesn't want to do it at all. This year Andrew stepped out on a limb...and I think it's because he respects the coach and he wants to do well for him. This coach has accomplished pulling together and harnessing his run and gun hot shots into a team (at least by my eyes at this last few games). He seems to be a coach who thinks about sports as another way to teach. Wow. What a thought. The mind boggles. Coaching...teaching...coaching...teaching...my GOD could they go together??! Could teamwork apply to life? In other news...Mom is getting better...kind of...I don't have the crud yet...Dad doesn't have the crud yet...Mark is better except for his horrific hack hack hack hack that is driving me INSANE, the kids are getting better, except for the fact that Andrew had to run like the wind to get to the toidy right after his game this afternoon and was filling our vehicle with RANK air all the way home from Elm Creek today (oh yah...we had basketball games at Elm Creek today) and if I had any amount of energy at all...a midnight lysol, merlot run would be on my list of things to do.

Slappity Slap Slap

So...The Diet...is going to get a hell of a bitch slap tonight. I hate that party pooper. I think I lost about 2 or 3 pounds...but hey, we all know, if you are a woman, that 2 or 3 pounds are like...pfftttt...nothing. I mean I can gain that in a nanosecond of sniffing a Betty Crocker cook book. AND worse yet, we all know that a MAN can lose like 15 pounds by taking a dump. That really pisses me off. Just to be a bitchwad I am making a wish. I wish for all men to be constipated until I lose a lot of weight. And by a lot...I don't mean 2 or 3 pounds. I'm talking MORE than a lot. So far, though, I've grazed on chips and leftover Rocket pizza. I didn't eat supper earilier and of course, didn't have a meal replacement shake because I HATE THOSE DAMN THINGS! So now, I of NO WILLPOWER, am in full force snack mode. Everyone in my house is sick. The coughing, sneezing, hacking, mucous spewing, bronchial spraying, nose miners AND Mark is also displaying signs of disease. Mom, just came down with a terrible cough, sore throat and feels like shitcake. Dad and I are, knock on wood, okay. I have a very bad feeling that Dad will get this crap. He's supposed to take a chemo treatment on Wednesday so I hope he is not sick. I went over to their house tonight and warmed upa little soup for Mom, gave her a pill or two, made coffee, toast and watched Mom shiver and cough and feel terrible and Dad...he was gabbing non stop on the phone and seemed quite perky. I felt like dog shit because we were busier than a one legged man at a hopping contest today. I was so tired I fell asleep sitting up while Mark was talking to me. I guess that means I was tired...(not bored...eeeek!). After a nap of about 2.4 minutes I went to the shop and worked on some freight and made some signs and put stuff places and priced some junk when I got done, I noticed that it was raining a bit. I LOVE THAT! I wish it would pour buckets. Tomorrow morning Andrew has a b-ball tourney at Southern Valley...about 40 minutes away. And after that is done...hopefully not to terribly late we have to hightail it to North Platte for Katie's ball games...NP is about 1 1/2 hours away from Cambridge. Oh Boy. Joy.

Moon Drops

Okay, so I went for a walk tonight and the stars were beeutifullll! The moon on the other hand was a bit intimidating! Here I was, out for a walk, in the cold, looking like a fat girl out for a walk in the cold, and I turn to the west and what do I see? The giggling moon. I'm totally serious. There was this big ass grin all over the western sky. No eyes, no nose...just that big yellow Cheshire cat grin going on. As I was walking I suddenly felt something hit my head..just a light little tap. I looked around and saw no one or anything out of the ordinary. I Felt the top of my head and it felt fine. Then, I saw a plane flying overhead and all I could think of was...OH My God...it's plane piss/shit toidy flushing crust that fell onto my head. All the way from up there...missing everything else...and hitting...the top of my head. gag gross gross gross Okay...I was trying to find a picture on google of the way the moon looked last night...and I found Hillbilly Moon Explosion instead. Check them out! Anyway...I have to "weigh in" tomorrow and YIKES!!! I haven't had a damn meal replacement shake yet. Tonight is Marks birthday bash and I've got steaks to make, garlic bread and a salad to munch on. yahhhhh...but NOT a meal replacement shake...not yet....someday maybe. But I do loves those Spark drinks. yummy I have grape and mandarin orange and cherry.