Today For Something Completely Different...

It RAINED! and in other news... I attempted to help my mama make frosting decorations for a cake tonight. I honestly can say that my finished "pieces" S U C K - E D. earlier this same day... I mowed, weed eated and chased baby bunnies into the afternoon at my folks place. After the damn freight came in this morning to the shop and I put the crap up...I decided to surprise Dad by finishing some of the lawn work. The score reads...Me...only took 5 hours, one broken self propelled 18 year old lawn mower, one giant Weed Buster, one wedge taken out of one shin (mine)...Bunny...WINNER! A baby bunny managed to leap into the back corner of the mower shed and hide behind every last thing one ever even thought one had in a lawn mower shed...and there he stayed. I tried poking, crawling, yelling, sweet talking, carrot dangling, side of the building pounding...to no avail. Finally I gave up, dragged my sorry assed self to the house, made up a note from the "Lawn Mower Fairy" and went home to do 567 loads of laundry. later this same day...but before the cake thing... I went out to the lawn mower shed...and whaddya think I saw? Baby bunny laying across the threshold of the building like he now owned the place. Go for it I thought.

Worth A Toss Or A Turn

The motel last night was terrible. I should have known we were in for it when we unlocked the door and the Harder than a BowFlexing Queens Ass double beds only came up to my shins. Mark looked like the Jolly Green Giant standing next to them...hell...so did I! Those sumbitches were not fit for sleeping on...or anything else for that matter. The humidifier air conditioner was sporadically spewing foul smelling dank "air" in an effort to cool the room. I tossed and turned all night. I hate motel rooms anyway. I have a thing about other peoples DNA being in my toe space. ugh....AND I hate nothing worse than to spy a strangers curly black pube doing ballet on the bathroom floor while I utilize the facilities. aghhhhhhhhhh The good news? ALEC IS CLEAR AND FREE AND NEXT YEAR...WE ONLY HAVE TO TAKE AN X-RAY AND SEND IT TO OMAHA!!! WHOOEEEE!!! His left leg is about a quarter of an inch longer than the right one. When they removed the tumor it was close to the growth plate and it stimulated his growth. But the Dr. said it was okay and if it did become a problem...ie...sprained ankles, knee aches problems...hip problems...they could just "Put a screw up through the ankle bone and stop the growth for a bit..."...WTF??!! Simple fix?? Yes...he assured me...it sounds worse than it is. No Biggie! OKAY!!!! That was worth a night of tossing and turning any night!

Not Long Till I'm a Full Time Resident!

...of a loony bin. How busy can summer get? It isn't even summer yet people!!! Medicine Creek Days is over...now...BRAN. I spent the morning cleaning up the outside of our coffee shop because the dance is held right there on main street. Of course we have benches outside and they are utilized. This is fine...except there was a multitude of spilled drinks, food, wrappers, gum wads and bits of broken glass, my windows were smeared beyond all smears and I hope my plants make it. Then...I had to clean inside the shop. Get my order ready for the salesmen (they come tomorrow and I might be gone with Mark in Omaha) I'm hoping I have everything ordered I need for the BRAN ride buffet...and the goods I'm donating to the various dinners/breakfasts I'm involved in. shit Being out of town tomorrow will be a bitch. Alec has his leg check up tomorrow morning in Omaha...which I'm almost positive will be fine. almost Anyway...more to bitch about but who gives a rats ass right? later

Me On A Bike

Dingleberry Delight?

Well, I'm at work but making a quick post. I've been trying to plan for Medicine Creek Days...parade...coffee bean queens...etc, the BRAN ride, the SEVERAL meals I have to a) participate in as cook for b) provide food for c) order food for d) plan our shop menu including ordering the goods and blah blah blah on it goes e) plan the work schedule f) plan around Alecs Dr appointment in Omaha for his yearly leg tumor check up g) blah blah blah blah blahhhhh I could use up the entire alphabet... Summer is just a big fat dingleberry stuck to the crack hairs.

Here Is A Link For Your Boyfriend

CLICK IT If there was a mirror site...you know what it would be... Welcome Ladies...Spank My Ass is a personal assistant that helps you make your boyfriend or hubby happy by sending him a strip-o-gram on your behalf, on a regular but semi-random basis.

Sleepless & Here You Are

Dad had chemo today, and it went well. He tolerates the Taxotere...no episodes of blue faced non breathing allergic reaction. Although, I wonder if the nurses would even notice. They are strictly, hang up the med, don't initiate conversation...Get the toxic waste pumped in. I see now that maybe I really wasn't cut out to be a nurse. I talk too much. I try to get to know people...or at least I used to. Especially when they were having a procedure. I felt like it was my job to make people feel at ease. I don't think that is part of nursing anymore. Nope...Not even in a cancer center. Never a Dr. Around, never hardly ever any concern for anyfucking thing at all from anyfucking person there. Not only does it piss my off but it makes me sad. All the patents sitting there, Moms and Dads and Grandmas and Grandpas and Husbands and Wives...With IV bags of toxic waste coursing through their bodies, hoping for a decrease in tumor size while watching the food network, or some Mexican soap opera. Sitting there patiently, knitting, reading magazines, some alone...some with friends or family. The nurses work like robots. Sometimes they say...Would you like some water? or Sorry 'bout that or...did you need a Procrit shot today? As if the patient should be aware of all protocols and guess what...most do...Hell...you have to I mean someone needs to keep track of something don't they? We all (the "old timers") learned that you bring in your food, snacks, drinks or comfort items yourself. These are not going to offered to you...Or if so...Very infrequently. But...The landscaping looks nice. A nest of robins tucked into the rain gutters catches the eye. The young birds are about to fly. It gives one something to think about besides...Is this shit working? Am I going to have the patty melt or the Fiesta Chicken Salad at Perkins? Do I really have cancer or is this some fucked up nightmare!?

Flowers and a Bike Ride

After work Cindy and I went for a bike ride! It's been a long time (April 21) and it felt good! We went 26 miles and maybe talked ourselves into doing at least some of BRAN. Yesss! I hated to miss. Especially since it's going through Cambridge this year. AFter the ride I planted flowers. I still need a boatload to finish this place and the shop. Tomorrow...chemo day.

mental notes

tuesday...freight at 6:30...empty dumbwaiter...work at shop...cindy b-day...arrange ass beating...housing board meeting 5pm to do between midnight and 8am: check cost of items from wholesaler: 50 lbs...hamburger...80/20 spag sauce...10 gallons mozz cheese shredded...5 of 3 lb bags lettuce shredded 2 bags of check on donated bottled water....better yet...ask for crown royal and coke check with church...am I supposed to supply anything for that supper...?? will need to order oatmeal...toppings...bowls...spoons..for the buffet...cinnamon roll dough...coffee cake...granola?? trail mix?? must decide: what are we going to do?? bran tuesday...mark burgers all day?? yes...have connie make enought buns...for....order enough hamburger for...deli papers...ice...water bottles...onions...relish...ketchup...mustard...napkins...trash bags...check on this wednesday...oatmeal buffet arrange workers to be there...tuesday all day...extra??...wednesday...early...6 am...a booth down at the school with goodies...?? our t-shirts?? both wednesday...dad chemo kearney thursday...meet with carla...check about donated bottled water from josh and any other items ...school out get computers taken care of friday...work... when can I plant my flowers? do my laundry? vacuum? sort the socks? exercise? watch tv? wash the bedding? catch my breath? take a break? ever get my house cleaned again before September? sleep in?? fuck it

Citizen Arrest

Well, I bet the eighth grade boys will shape up now. I guess the learned ones showed them a thing or two! Man, what a brilliant idea to not choose a boy for the citizenship award. Pat yourselves on the back for that one. I for one will sleep better tonight knowing that a large group of role models for youngsters are behind such a keen idea. I bet those sassy young lads are all humbled and yearning to prove they are good citizens like their teachers now.

Mostly I'm just uninspired.

I'm thinking of going on a heart healthy diet because not only is cancer in my family but heart disease is practically a kissing cousin. I have the perfect body type for heart disease...Apple shaped. That's about it really. When I feel inspired I'll write again. Maybe.

I'm Trying To Think Of Something Funny...

to say. But I can't really. Just...my life is going along in a rapid fashion and I'm not even sure if I'm in it. so...Its just The usual crap of the parrot bit Shelley and then laughed hysterically, the thought of my hairdresser telling a funny story using "Yoo Hoo" and "Yah Hah" in reference to the, errrr, crotch and ass area instead of saying "crotch" or "ass", the fact that a customer found my book of Naughty Over 40 Coupons which have SHOCKINGLY NASTY GOOD illustrations AND directions sometimes involving feathers, D cells and yes...even asses and crotches...that I received from someone for my birthday and read them...WHILE AT THE COFFEE SHOP waiting for their lunch, the fact that Dad calls a skin tag on his arm an Air Bag and many other silly little things that choke me up. Like the guy who went into the filling station, told the attendant to give him $5.00 worth of gas and the attendant said okay, turned around, farted and handed the guy a receipt... Now, I'm tired. Dad had chemo today and the hour long appointment turned into yet again and all day affair. Now he has to take 3 more chemo. I'm not sure why...or why we didn't question it at the office. I will call the Dr. Tomorrow and find out. Time to kiss the kids and go to bed. I hope to hell I have some clean clothes for work tomorrow. Although by the looks of the laundry room...It'll be iffy.

Confirming Many Things...sigh

The Class Beneath The Gown...sigh

Well, I'm 40 Now

...and it doesn't feel much different than getting pushed out of a moving vehicle. Hardly a pang. Well, maybe just a pang or two at the most. or three or four... Anyway...Tomorrow Andrew gets confirmed. I've got everything ironed and dress shoes found and a tie and socks and Andrew assured me, even though he hates the pants I've pressed and ironed and cursed, that he WILL wear them. I hope he will...the rest of his pants are holey...NOT HOLY. Did I mention what happened to Andrew on his last alcolyte last week? Our acolytes wear a gown and pants over their clothes. Andrew was up at the altar lighting the candles when all of a sudden...his alcolyte pants were huddled around his ankles. Andrew causally stepped out of them, as he was lighting candles at the time...just stepped with one leg on the pants and off they came. Then, while bowing at the altar...he gave them a kick and off the altar they flew. Good Lord, I had tears streaming down my face. Could he have had a better last alcolyte??? What in the world will happen tomorrow I shudder to ask.

Things To Make It Through Yet

1) My LAST elementary school program. Next year...all 3 of my little nose miners will be in the same ones. 2) Andrew's confirmation...Sunday. We made it through the hazing questioning during which my clever son asked the Vicar, "What is the laying on of hands?", perhaps thinking of...say...the way his mother lays on a hand...ie...a little bit O BEATING! instead of a blessing. 3) Tomorrow.

The Dash Seems To Be Turning Photo Blog

Too little time...too much going on. I'll have to write when I have time...if I ever do again. In the meantime...Andrew at the junior high track meet. Even though he fell (leaning into the tape) he still got second in both high and low hurdles and though he didn't place in the long jump...doesn't his form look...awesome! grin Alec and his buds played on the field and "rassled" and Katie had to work in the concession stand. Joy.