May 05, 2007

Which One Is YOU? Yahhhh...I thought so

Crazier than a shithouse rat.

Stronger than mule piss with the foam farted off.

Finer than frog hair.

Drunker than a cowboy on Saturday night.

"Slicker than cat shit on a linoleum floor." Redd Foxx

Richer than six foot up a bull's ass.

Tighter than a bull's ass on fight night. (Also, tighter than a bull's ass during fly season.

Grinnin' like a possum eatin' shit out of a light socket.

Nervous as a dog shittin' peach pits.
The dog is nervous, one supposes, because of anxiety over the next painful peach pit passage.

Funnier than homemade dog shit.

No bigger than a pint of piss.

Fatter than a shithouse spider.

Slicker than the devil in velvet pants.

Grinnin' like a cat eatin' shit out of a hairbrush.

Slicker than shit through a tinhorn.

Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere.

Happier than a pig in shit.

Hotter than the hinges of Hell.

Tighter than a gnat's ass stretched over an oil drum.
(Neither Redd nor I could imagine anything tighter. MDJ)

Shinnin' like a diamond in a goat's ass.

Grinning' like a shit eatin' possum.

Hornier than a three-balled tomcat.

Faster than a cat can lick its ass.

Meaner than cat shit.

Sucks like a bucket of ticks.

Nervous as a whore in church.

Tougher than a 10-year-old rooster.

Weaker than puppy piss.

Faster than a dog can raise his leg.

Slicker than greased owl shit.

Tighter than a crab's ass. (That's waterproof, folks)

Wilder than a peach orchard boar.

Worthless as a cup of cold piss.

Ugly enough to scare a bulldog off a gut wagon.

Drier than a popcorn fart.

Hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire.

Funnier than a fart in a space suit.

Funnier than Ex-Lax in a diarrhea ward.

Funnier than a pay toilet in the diarrhea ward.

1 comment:

Molly said...

I suppose I'm drier than a popcorn fart...