July 30, 2007

Notice Anything New?????





Yuh...you guessed it...I GOT NO BANGS PEOPLE!! AND I did NOT do this to myself at midnight on my deck while drinking beer!!!!






also...in other news...I have tried MILLER CHILL beer and I highly recommend it. I don't think it has much alcohol in it but it tastes good. I may have to have several dozen tonight.


pss...I have just watched HELL'S KITCHEN for the first time...HOLY SHIT...it's like I was at Shirley K's Coffee Shop!


not really...gulp...I hope...

July 26, 2007

We Were in Our Own World

Everytime I mow out at Mom and Dads house (weekly) I feel sad. I begin to think of Dad's last breathe, me saying, "Mom, he's going!", how he gasped twice and then...nothing. I remember how I lowered the head of his bed once minute before then, saying, "Just for a second Dad" and then another nurse and I pulled him up so that his feet weren't pressed against the foot of the bed. It was then, that he died. Right after we did that. Right after that. Right after that. I see his open mouth, like a baby bird. I see his sunken eyes. I hear that silence. The absence of breath. I see it over and over and over and over and over. I cannot say that this is why he died. I know that. But it feels like it was the reason sometimes.
Everyhing feels so strange about the cancer time. Not like a dream but...something not quite lucid just the same. Like a fog covered the last 2 years. Like a mist that descended and made everything seem close and thick and difficult and all our own world somehow. Like a deserted island. It's hard to explain.
Mom is doing okay. She sleeps at our house quite often. The empty couch in her living room, too much to bear. The silence of an empty home at night is much different than a quit afternoon.

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July 19, 2007

Burn Baybe Burn

Well, the other day I burned myself. Yes, cooking and fixing something. yup Thass right. The first burn...I say first because there is a second. The first was a ahem..curling iron burn. sssigh...yes...I dropped the damn curling iron right onto my forearm where it settled in for the stay. Embarassing really. Especially since my hair doesn't really respond to curling irons anyway....and NO I DID NOT FLUSH IT DOWN THE DAMN TOILET! geeze The second burn came later on that same day. I touched my forearm to the edge of piping hot just out of the oven baking pan.
Now, I had to cover them up because I look sortta like a leper. After I got home today, took the bandage off and took a good look I thought...uh oh me thinks there is a red streak going down or up my arm. sheeeittt. Exsqueeze me while I get me sum medicine.



July 15, 2007

Pizza Dough, Callous File and The Shitter

I am making pizza dough at this very moment...in my handy dandy bread machine. I'm going to try sticking it in the fridge when it's done and making calzones or something tomorrow. Mark's mom and sister and nephew are coming for a stay. They will be here tomorrow and leave Tuesday. My house is a sty, the M.I.L. houserental is fairly clean but kind of smells like ass anyway (don't know why but I think it has something to do with a sewer pipe gagg) Speaking of which...we were having major issues with our terlet at the shop this last week. Mark talked to the plumbers, I talked to the plumbers, we talked to the plumbers and then...wah lah...when they came over with a tube to shove whatever it is that was plugging our shitter we visited again. I was much surprised when one of them came over to my desk and plopped a bright neon pink "callous file" (still in the package I might add) and said "That's it" and left. I was slightly dumbfounded. HOW THE HELL DOES MY BRAND NEW BRIGHT PINK CALLOUS FILER GET FLUSHED DOWN THE TERLET?? Not well flushed I might add. Anyway...we can now utilze the facilities. Just what you wanted to hear...right?? I can't, however...FILE MY FREAKING CALLOUS OFF!!

July 11, 2007

Blue Day

I felt sad today. I kept wanting to call Dad up and tell him something I'd heard or something I saw or I wanted to ask him a question about something. I went up to the cemetary this evening and stared around at the grave. We haven't picked a headstone out although we've talked about it. There is a service "pin" thing there and our flowers from the funeral are still laying across the grave but I really am ready to have a headstone up. I want to be able to tend it.

Lysol Is Really Ass Perfume

We have now trapped 5...count 'em 5 possums in our catch 'em alive trap.
S I C K
I mean...GROSS!!!
There have been baby ones with soft fuzzy fur and baby ones with frizzy punk rocker hair.
YUCCCCK!!
All of them have hissed and sputtered at me. No froth though. But still...GROSS!
In other news...Mark got that new weight loss drug...non prescription ORLO or somthing like that. I read up about it because...HEY...I'M FAT PEOPLE!! What my favorite part was....the info for office workers stating...Bring dark pants and extra underwear to work.
ssheeiit
literally.
Dahumm.
...how about I skip the shit my pants medications and just quit eating so much...ahahahahahahahhahaahahah...yah right.
How about I just shit my pants quietly and keep lysol wipes in my purse.

July 10, 2007

Do You Ever Feel:

like you aren't cut out for the role you're in?
like you are so tired you consider nightmares exercise?
like you are going backwards insted of forwards?
like you are just an unnecessary accessory the kind that always gets lost, or falls off of something and you find out you never ever reeally needed it?

July 04, 2007

Death Row Ribs but I forgot the PRISON WINE!

Well, it's the fourth of July and I haven't even been to the fireworks stand. Instead, I made BBQ sauce for ribs that KICKS ASS. I found a recipe called something like...Death Row Bourbon Sauce and after making it this morning I can honestly say I love it so much I want to eat it on cereal. Of course it has bourbon in it and NO I did not even have one nip. Not after last night. ha ha We went out to celebrate a birthday with some friends last night. Actually cousins...Cindy and Shelly and the birthday girl...Kristy and her friend Lisa. The bar was smoky, hot and actually pretty full of other local drinkers celebrators. Mark and I don't go there too much because frankly I am a wuss when it comes to smoke anymore. I can't stand it. But it was fun to go out for once and I drank FAT TIRE beers in bottles...because you just never know how clean a glass is...do you?? The birthday girl had many many many "shots" which come in huge glasses...not shot glasses...and the rest had beer, pop and some ate a mighty fine looking pizza. The night also involved a "fake bird" attached by a wire to the birthday girls shirt, a song called "There's a skeeter on my peter Whack it off! Whack it off!**clap clap", and various other tales too tall to retell.
Well, must go...Alec tells me he can now play Mark's guitar...the intro to something or other.
Keep your sparklers pointed high and come over and taste my sauce!


note to self...must serve DEATH ROW BOURBON SAUCE RIBS with PRISON WINE next year!!

July 02, 2007

Dally Awhile Summer

Well, it's July already and that really freaks me out. Time is flying like a rocket...sayyyy...that for some reason reminded me of...The Reading Rocket...remember that show?? Probably not. I'm probably the only one who watched that STUPID show and filled out the notebook (membership to the reading rocket club had such perks!)and spent my summer studying down in our basement while my babysitter rode a rocket of a different sort upstairs. gasp She often had her boyfriend over while I toiled over my book and ate cold ravioli from the can.
God...I remember so many fun things about my childhood summers. My cousin and i camped outside almost every night. We made a tent out of all the blankets in our house and pinned them to our clothesline. Since we lived right next to the railroad tracks the midnight freight and 4am Amtrak were a lovely wake up call. But who slept when you camped out? Not us. We caught fireflies and jarred them up to make our lanterns, we pretended we were statues out in our front lawn, we watched The Goodies, Monty Python, Saturday Night Live and we ate buttered, salted popcorn and drank Pepsi straight from the can. I always lit fires and we cooked soup in a Folgers can (for my dog). During the days when we weren't at the pool or playing softball we had lemonade stands and earned money for firecrackers. We pretended we were Mexican and spoke a kind of pig Latin Spanish that no one understood {not to mention us} as we biked around the town. No one worried when we were tearing around playing hide and go seek in the night. No one worried we were getting snake bit or breaking our bones when we went traipsing through the north pastures and we could come and go to the creek with or without our horse without a worry. We never had a misfortune befall us and maybe we just lucked out. Oh, did we have fun. I can only hope my kids have as much fun as I did when I was young. I can probably only wish that they would do those simple things that my cousing and I did too...sigh...still and all I really wish summer would linger longer this year.