July 11, 2007

Blue Day

I felt sad today. I kept wanting to call Dad up and tell him something I'd heard or something I saw or I wanted to ask him a question about something. I went up to the cemetary this evening and stared around at the grave. We haven't picked a headstone out although we've talked about it. There is a service "pin" thing there and our flowers from the funeral are still laying across the grave but I really am ready to have a headstone up. I want to be able to tend it.


Joel said...

I remember your last post about the dream you had, and last night I had a dream too. My dad passed away Sunday 7/15/07 at 4:18 pm. My dream involved me going back in the past, back when he was diagnosed in December and telling my cousin and sister that by July 15 he would be dead, and me walking over hugging him and telling him that I loved him.

My dad was great man, he never complained though I know he suffered a lot his last days. He never wanted anyone to feed him because he did not want to feel like he was handicapped.

I held his hand as he was dying, and all I could do right now is ask myself what if? I just wish he was still alive, I wish I could call him and tell him that he was right and Alex Rodriguez is the best Baseball player of his time, that Barry Bonds hit yet another homerun; But all I have is a phone number that will be answered by another person that is not my dad.

I wish that somehow I could go back in time, or maybe God could let me see him one last time, see him as he was before Cancer did what it did. I just wish that life would hurry up happen already, I wish that it was sometime in 2050 and that I was in my 70s ready to pass into the other side and finally see my dad again, but I realize that I have to wait 46+ years and time will just take its time.

Sheryl I Truly know now how you feel, Jorge Adalberto Nunez was my dad and hopefully he has met your dad in heaven and they are having fun and are better off tha we are in this place where we are still held hostage by death.

Sheryl said...

Thank you Joel. Your words help more than you know.