I mowed at mom and dads place today. I started at 10 and got done at 2:30. Needless to say I was tired, hot and dirty. When I got home I noticed:
1)a smell that reminded me of cat piss...wild cat piss...sick, wild cat piss...a dead, sick, wild cats last piss...in reality...it was about 3 pairs of boy's wet from swimmin' in the creek leather tennis shoes scattered about my entryway floor
2)all the doors were open
3)both TV's were on
4)the dog cowering (as well he should be) as he had recently blew chunks on his bedtime blankie
5)there was a spider the size of my ass on the kitchen floor
6)no one answering my screams of "someone come kill this spider!"
7)the kitchen sink full of a)dishes b)water that would not drain
8)the cereal from this morning still on the kitchen counter
9)the lawn was not mowed as was supposed to be
10)no one home but ME!
So...I vacuumed up the spider (I hope!!), scrubbed out Pissin' Petie's chunky hurl stain, threw the blanket to the laundry (gag), vacuumed the downstairs rooms including the entryway, threw the stinkin' shoes outside, watched as one of the boys friends ran into the house, tracked mud, water and filth across my freshly vacuumed floor and through my entire house and then said, sheepishly, "sorry" as he sloshed his way back outside, wiped up the mess the kid left, took a shower and then did a few errends for mom.
where is the beer fairy when ya need her!