November 20, 2007

Top 10 Reasons I Love New Neighbors

10) Hey, I'm an animal lover and aren't I lucky my neighbor just moved in two nice, black labs. Junior, who I like to call CowDog cuz his turds are about the size of a cowpie and Claud who I like to call Pavarotti...I think you know why. In case I get bored with them, I could listen the tin can yip of "the indoor doggie" who I like to call asshole.
9) Thanks to the futuristic thinking of my new neighbor ak "Sweetie" I would have a front row seat if someone built a drive in theater in my or Sweeties backyard. Let's hear it for drive in OR drive through backyards!
8) I do not have to worry about stubbing my toe when the sun goes down thanks to Sweeties outdoor MEGAWATTAGE dog night light.
7) If dog piss is good for watering flowers, trees and grass I have nothing to worry about as far as my brand new herb/prairie flower border that I planted just last year!
6) I love how rustic the border in my backyard looks with a cattle gate and wooden door on its side held up with tomato cages.
5) There is just something about the scent of large dog breed shit and piss that speaks to me as I go out back to put steaks on the grill....ahhhhhh
4) There's absolutely nothing wrong with beer, in the morning, with Sweetie and Junior and Claud.
3) I would never have been able to see that deer being gutted at 10 pm without the help of Sweeties night light.
2) I LOVE a good fiesta around 2 am.
1) I LOVE DOG SHIT

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