February 23, 2008

Nurse or Curse

People have been asking me if I miss nursing lately. I do and I don't. Way to ride the fence I guess. Okay...things I miss:
I miss feeling like I was helping people everyday...or at least attempting to help people. I guess I miss feeling needed or like I made a difference in someones life.
I miss the wounds...I know...I know - GROSS...but I can't help it.
I miss feeling my brain stretch and grow. Seems it's just stuck in idle now. Probably on the downhill slide toward dementia. Perimenapausal deterioration sigh
I miss the excitement, the joy of it all. Healing, death...strangly both have their own different joys. Sometimes there is more joy around when someone is dying. The people get closer, issues are resolved, things are put in persepctive.
I can't say I miss the people I met because I meet people everyday here.
I don't miss being on call.
I don't miss feeling stupid if I didn't know something.
I don't mis the political bullshit of an organization such as a hospital.
I don't miss the stench of shit and other vile oders.

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