April 03, 2008

Autism Buzz

The buzz word of the year is "autism". Last year it was "bipolar". Have you seen the show on HBO called Autism the Musical? It's interesting. I was not aware of all the different types of autism. There seems to be different varieties (for lack of a better word). There was a girl about 14 years old who could not generate original speech. She repeated what you told her, like a parrot. She could sing beautifully though. How odd this disease is. How strange. How devastating. We need to find the cause of this disease. Around 1 out of 150 kids are diagnosed with autism. That number is getting down to the nitty gritty. More and more and more autism. Is it the additives in our food? Is it vaccinations? Is it our drinking water? Who knows. If you get a chance, try and watch that video. You just might learn something.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Improvements in diagnosis pick up autistics who would have been missed in previous generations. Like me.

Yes, it is a wildly complicated condition, bestowing remarkable strengths as well as weaknesses upon the so-called sufferer.

Is there a simple solution? No. So what can the autistic do to smooth their somewhat lumpy passage through life? The best thing is to smoke dope. Look it up, under "medical marihuana" - spelt with both h and j.

Dope will stop that awful endless buzzing that keeps us awake and edgy for days. Dope will turn down the power of those endless obsessive irritating thought circles that otherwise can't be turned off (yes, the human race can be stupid). Dope will relax the auty to the point where he/she/it can do normal things, like going to the shops or conducting conversations. Dope helps auties finish their sentences when they talk.

Of course, there are some who argue that dope is illegal, but a very close examination of modern legislation reveals that this may not in fact be the case.

In jurisdictions where bicycle helmets are compulsory (such as California or Canada), or where other legislation acts to cause violent insanity through a mandated increase in body and brain temperature (various property rental legislation requiring renters to mow lawns, for example), then dope can be argued to be not just legal, but compulsory.

I am sure that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be most displeased were he to be torn limb from limb by a gang of ravening 15-year-old autistics out for a bike ride on a hot day, with cooked brains under their helmets. In such conditions, I am sure that he would prefer to be left alive and uninjured. The fact that the ravening autistics would need to smoke a joint or two is far preferrable to them committing acts of extreme violence before dying of heatstroke.

Many autistics are prone to heat. And heat is an extremely dangerous thing, killing many people each year.