August 23, 2008

Bitching About College, Kids, and yah

Just got back from Omaha.  I took my mom and we went to see daughter Katie.  We shopped, ate, squabbled about college and work and money and health and in general, everything...and then, Mom and I came home.  Katie doesn't know what she wants to "be" for sure.  She wants to work with children, as of now, and she continues to love working at Chuck E Cheese.  She said something about working in a daycare and I almost choked and wanted to slit my wrists.  I guess I am a snob after all.  I cant believe her.  I can't believe that is what she really wants to do with her life.  She claims not to "care about money".  But that is the claim of someone who has not had to struggle with finances.  We have made it too easy for her.  I have to think back to when I was getting ready to graduate high school and remember how my Dad did not want me to go to college.  He said if everyone went to college who would do the work?  I wanted to go of course.  Although I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do my first year either.   By the second year I went to nursing school and obtained a useful degree.  However, I am not using it now.  Instead I am working as a business owner.  I did use my degree to pay off loans and bills and cars and etc.  I did use my RN for 15 years.  Katie, doesn't seem to want to go to college.  It's so strange.  Mark and I both went to college and just "assumed" our kids would want to.  Why wouldn't they?  Well, I guess it's another case of whatever we want or say...she wants to do the opposite...sigh.  There is nothing wrong with working instead of college I guess.  I just feel like she is wasting her God given talents.  She is SO smart and her memory is phenomenal.  She is a math wizard and Science is so easy for her.  She has so many talents and abilities and she doesn't want to use them.  It makes me feel like shit.  I did try come to terms with it, at least somewhat, today.  I talked with Mark and we need to talk to Katie.  Explain about the money we have been pumping into her school fund and the fact that she can't make it without our help in that low paying job she adores.  We have been through so much with her this last year that I know it has taken years off my life.  In reality we only want her to be happy, loved and a productive and useful person in this world.  Is that too much to ask?  She needs to do a budget and figure out what she actually is able to pay for on the money she makes.  Then she can get back to us and tell us she's ready to quit college and make it as a manager for Chuck E Cheese...sigh

No comments: