I Will ALWAYS Be A LardASS at this Rate!

Remember when I said I was going to exercise! I didn't. unless you count getting dressed an exercise. damn it

BRAN Ride Route for 2008

Day 1 (Sunday-June 8th) Callaway to Dunning *Arnold Day 2 (Monday-June 9th) Dunning to Ainsworth *Brewster Day 3 (Tuesday-June 10th) Ainsworth to Butte *Springview *Burton *Naper Day 4 (Wednesay-June 11th) Butte to Creighton *Spencer *Bristow *Lynch *Monowi *Vendel *Verdigre *Winnetoon Day 5 (Thursday-June 12th) Creighton to Petersburg *Royal *Clearwater *Elgin Day 6 (Friday-June 13th) Petersburg to Shelby *Loretto *Albion *St. Edward *Genoa *Silvercreek *Oceola Day 7 (Saturday-June 14th) Shelby to Yutan *Rising City *Wahoo *Mead

Applause Please

A new record. I exercised TWO days in a row! I even got sweaty! Get this, I plan on exercising today as well. What's going on you say? I just want to TRY to get into shape for bike riding. I don't know that we'll do the BRAN ride this year, but I hope we get to do some riding. Right now, I am in the WORST shape I've ever been in. I hate it. must nap now...yawn

Sweating Techtard

Okay, I forgot to tell you. I exercised tonight. chuhhhh and it was NOT pretty! I waddled my big ol ass into the sunroom and climbed onto the eliptical that is slightly broken but still works. I put on my little ipod and listened to all sorts of music...from rap to cheerleading routines to Mitch Miller sings "White Christmas". I think I even had June Carter Cash singing Wildflower which is not an inspiring song to work out to...sigh I am technologically endowed just enough to put headphones on, stick them into the "pod" and push play (though the pressure of a finger must be just so to turn the damn thing on AND directly centered) BUT I cannot delete songs from the playlist. So...therefore, every song I have on my apple is now on my pod. Anyway, I did work up a sweat. And I have not had a snack since supper. Even though Mark is drinking a beer and eating popcorn. I HAVE NOT HAD A BEER even though it seems like a not so bad idea. I do have a slight...ahem ahem ahem cough and could use something "medicinal" to soothe my throat...hmmmmmmm m u s t r e s i s t m u s t r e s i s t M U S T R E S I S T!

Leave Us Alone Asswipe! We Are Shopping!

Well, I haven't been posting for awhile. duh I just don't have the time. Or I just don't make the time anymore. Besides...I'm boring anyway. I have been tied to work, wrestling matches, basketball and whatnot. Whatnot meaning the damn laundry, the shitty bathroom cleaning stuffs, changing the toilet paper roll in EVERY DAMN BATHROOM I GO INTO! WTF is that all about?! AND last but not least...planning a ritual killing of a parrot if he DOESN'T STOP SHITTING ALL OVER HIS CAGE!!! damn that parrot...damn him to hell! Sure, he's cute and he talks and he sometimes says, "I like beer!" and "Cawfee!" and "Hi Turkey!" but he's still a SLOB! Went shopping yesterday with Mom and Cindy Sue. We went to North Platte. We had a hoot, ate at Whiskey Creek, went to the mall (where we got our asses chewed by a man who was NOT our husbands about spending money without thought!). It was if our husbands had hired this man to follow us and harass us. Unfortunate for him he got the Stagemeyer glare from not one but three women and he veered off towards a corner with his tail between his legs. At least I hope that was his tail...hmmmmmmmm Anyway, he better think twice before he starts his tired pathetic speech in our direction. We are WOMEN, we are SHOPPING, LEAVE US ALONE ASSWIPE!

Wrestling with a Decision

Well, Andrew started "live" wrestling last weekend. He was cleared by the Doc and it's time for our weekends to become non existent. Last weekend he had one match on junior varsity and he won that one. This Friday, he had three varsity matches and he lost all three. Then Saturday we went to a junior varsity meet and he won one and then lost three. He did wrestle better on Saturday, but he looks rusty and his timing is off. Of course it would be. He is starting out as other wrestlers are in mid season. I don't know if it was a good idea to do that or not. He has faced many a battle during his injury and I suppose this is just one more. The main problem as I see it, is that Andrew is so hard on himself and he wants to win so badly, that when he loses he is devastated. I worry that his "mental game" will be affected. It's hard to work your ass off and then lose, lose, lose and feel confident. Anyway, the decision to jump back in is one that I wrestle with daily.

Granny Sheets

I know there is one woman who is glad she has an ass three axe handles and a shoe box wide. You know, that newly famous "granny panties" story where a fire is put out by her gargantuan drawers. gawd I believe I saw an article somewhere that started out with, "Everyone has A pair of them - Granny Panties!". And you know what I thought? Hell honey, I don't just have A pair my whole damn underwear drawer is a GRANNY PANTY HAVEN!! I mean I could make bedsheets for the entire homeless population with the cloth I hold captive in that drawer!

I don't know what color my anus is. Is that bad?

Ever thought about bleaching your anus?"

Wrestle Maniac Mama

Had a short night that led to a donkey ass long day. Petie had a pissin' frenzy and wanted outside to pee every damn hour or so during the night. WHAT AN ASS!! Mark took Andrew to the surgeon for a visit today and the Dr. felt his knee was healed and well and really he left it up to the physical therapist as to when Andrew can wrestle. Maybe as soon as Saturday, Mark told me. I flapped my jaw and threw my hands around and said "WHAT!", and "I CANT GO TO THE MEET ON SATURDAY!", and "OH MY GAWD!" and Mark stated, "I can't be there on Saturday either." just as calm as a highly sedated sloth. I can't bear the thought of him wrestling without us there. Not only for the "watching" but for the fact that he hasn't been able to do anything sportswise since the first 4 seconds of the first football game of the season when he BLEW OUT HIS KNEE and I am just sick that he could get hurt again. I don't think I can watch. I just don't think I can and I also can't bear to not watch. ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh am tired now

Basketball, Coffee Shop & Back Scratching

That's my weekend, in a nutshell...or should I say nuthouse?! Another weekend gone by...on wings I think. I still have red stripes on my porch columns. The wreath is by my front door...naked, but still there. My tree is still up, it too naked, save for white lights, which enable me to see while sitting at our kitchen table. In fact, I may leave the thing up as a light fixture I like it so well. Too tired to really write much...hahahaahah...right you say. trivial facts: Might snow tonight?? And we are in the 24th sunspot cycle which is the "lean" part of the cycle. Petie needs his toenails trimmed and Alec needs his unibrow shaved. Mark probably needs his nosehair trimmed, Andrew is growing a sporadic hopscotch of hairs all over his face and my hairs are fine...except my head which is like a fluffy chicks ass anyway, as you ALL KNOW! Steel Magnolias is on. I need to go to bed. I itched all night last night...for NO APPARENT REASON! shit! give me a REASON at least! I am craving a COKE and Rice and Raisin pudding NO NOT TOGETHER PEOPLE! I wish I craved exercise and hot water and lemon and rice cakes instead...double SHIT on fat and food!! I felt mean and nasty and have been teasing Pissin Petie by saying, gleefully, "Wanna take a baaathhh??? and then quickly acting like I'm going to pick him up and saying, "Let's go take a bathhyyy!!" Pissin' Petie then raises his lip like Elvis and growls at me and then cries. gawd it's funny!!!!! So he will need pet therapy...sooooo whatttttt...join the rest of this family!@!

Talk About Sex Leads to Free Time!

I like to take a nice soft hot bath with Calgon "peaceful orchard" scent bath beads, read a few pages from an old dog earred book, put on baby lotion, and soft jammies, go downstairs, fix a drink like a glass of wine, a crown and coke or something like that, get a little salty snack, sit on the side of the couch, read my book with the tv on low, eat my snack and sip my drink, while everyone else is in bed. I usually have to stay up so late to fullfill this little fantasy that I'm too tired to enjoy it. Tonight, all was in place and then...THE VACUUM arrived (I like to call Alec that because he eats everything in sight from 3:30pm until 11 pm, just sucks it all in) to have his back scratched. Alec, who had already eaten the newly purchased groceries (TODAY!!) needed a back rub AND a back scratch tonight. Finally I started to talk about babies and how cute they were but what a lot of work they were and then I started in on "keep the pickle in the pocket" kind of talk. That was all it took...he left. Gawd...how easy. Now I know how to get my free time in. Talk about contraception. I should have known.

Soooo Many Stairs....Soooo Little Time

I'm not the only one having an after Christmas Sale. Check out THIS place. I think it might be worth a road trip. I only hope they have batteries on sale too!