January 20, 2009
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .'

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: 'Gosh, I remember these. SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, right?

Labels: , ,


sheryl says just sign on the dotted line | 7:19 PM
3 Comments:   Anonymous ybonesy said...
I can tell it was a most useful forum. The "going braless" to pull down crows' feet only works if you have some weight in those ballasts.
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A hot bath some cold beer and hair dye make me cry happy tears of joy



CAUGHT IN REFLECTION


I think about how to measure
the worth of one's self
at the weirdest times
hunkered down
studying the lines of my feet
trimming the faded pink nails
almost always
these clean spare moments
dash to pieces
the crystal sphere of truth
I've held in esteem
becoming shards that wickedly,
in snaggle toothed grinning
catch my face in reflection
as they lie in final throes
twitching on the ground

by Sheryl McCurdy


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