November 24, 2010

Gobble Goble Gobble

Well in two days it will be Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday of all time. We are going to have a cold one this time too. Seems like the past turkey days the kids have all been wearing shorts. I'm going to stay all night at Moms tomorrow and have a sleepover. We are going to clean and cook and maybe drink some vino and watch TV et all. I'm looking forward to it. We're having traditional turkey and dressing, mashed taters and gravy and lots of pie! yayyyy Last year we all went to Omaha and Katie, Mom, STeven and I went Black Friday Shopping. First and last time for me. I bought nothing present wise...but it was fun anyway. This year Katie will be working. She is on the radio from 6 am until noon on Thursday and Friday. Sucks.
Katie won't be back...again. When she left the building...she left the building! Depressing as hell really. Andrew will be back permitting. Of course Al is here but due to wrestling and weight loss pending he might not be enjoying the feast as much as usual. I love wrestling but I hate that he has to lose weight.
Well...I am thankful we are all in as good of health as we are and with as big a family as Mark has...that's saying a lot. Happy Turkey Day...gotta fading fast.

October 25, 2010

The Moon is Pretty? Who Cares!

Really...I guess I usually do but tonight I'm just pissed off I'm awake. I went to bed at 10 pm...I know...unfreakingreal for me...but I've had a head ache for 3 days. I watched TV while I lay there, something about fossils from 500 bazillion years ago and was stunned to find out the show did not put me to sleep. I should have watched CNN or tried to play Word Scramble on Facebook...both of which are a guarantee to put me out like a tranquilizer. So here I am. Posting on this site that I don't ever post on anymore. Too much water under the bridge to catch up on everything. Not enough strength in the hands really. Here I am waiting to get sleepy, my head throbbing and I"m typing on this blog that is defunct...HA...just like me. My new nickname...DeFunct!

September 16, 2010

Just Some Boring Ass Random Sentences...dont bother reading.

So many things to talk about. So long since I last posted. The pressure is great to remember it all. In other words...don't hold yer breath! Once again I'm awake and not asleep and the itty bitty hands on the freaking clock keep turning away!! Too late to pop the 1/2 tab of a sleeping pill I early to go to work OR to exercise. Yes I said exercise. I started that weirdness again. Just today. I almost barfed. P90X...about a year ago I did it for 45 days straight. All I remember about that is sweating alot and generally making the furniture rattle and things fall off the shelves...not pleasant. So you ask...why now...again...? Shoot I don't know. I am at my fattest and I feel like shit yet I love jelly beans and have not ONE FREAKING SHRED OF SELF CONTROL when I'm at the shop. When Connies is baking bread and there are donut balls laying around just waiting to be tapped into...I'm very very very weak people. I need to at least make a slight effort into "shaping up" ... I guess. Not sure why yet.. Sooo...I hope this is it.

August 08, 2010

BP Wine, Dine & Tube O Rama

Not BP as in BP. BP as in bitch posse. Duh. I guess us old B's are going tubing down the Niobrara. LOL Whadda scene. I don't think I even own a swim suit anymore. Or shouldn't, I mean. My daughter just went last week and burned her bod into a dehydrated fire engine red crust. Can't wait. I'm going to bring a box of Ritz crackers and a box of wine for Toe Jeter. Last time we (BP) drank with her she passed out beside a Slat Asses Mothers pool on the grass and we stuffed her swim suit with Ritz crackers. She is just damn lucky we didn't have a camera nearby. I imagine she will be too scared to even drink this time.

April 19, 2010

Crotch Pockets and Nubby stuff.

I haven't been feeling well lately. Just a slaggy kind of lazy with a bit of headache and eye ache and neck ache and humongous glands and etc. It's been about 6 weeks I guess. I even went to the Dr. which is a miracle for me. I'm supposed to go to an ENT next week. Guess there isn't much to worry about. My blood work was okay. No Lymphoma...that's what I was worried about. Now...who knows. My neck glands are still big...but better than they were. I've had several rounds of antibiotics and alot of meds. YUCK FREAKING YUCK! It's time to plant my garden I don't have time to be sick. It's time to graduate my boy in a few weeks. I don't have time for this. I don't have time for this. my spare time I'm teaching myself to crochet. I suck. I can barely make a chain. I did crochet some kind of wooly fuzzy crotch pocket thing. I guess if you have a little crotch anyway. I put the thing on our poodle dog as a kerchief and that looked fairly decent. So..if you need a nubby crotch pocket or a fuzzy dog kerchief let me know...I could send you one.

March 09, 2010

Just In Time For Easter!

My dog or I should say, my daughters dog, Noogie...smells bad. He's a cute little poodle and he smells bad. I don't mean your garden variety dog smell. It's a rank little scent. Not unlike shit. At first I thought he was just smelly cuz he ate cat crap occasionally. I fixed that little snack problem and yet the smell persisted. Then I wondered if he had an infection. No...seems to be just a smelly little basTURD. I have to learn to live with it. He smells like a butt hole peep would smell if there were such things as butt hole peeps.

March 05, 2010

Dryer ArT

This is what happens when you dry A PERMANENT MARKER IN YOUR FRONT LOADER!!!

February 20, 2010


Imagine if you will this: I am floating in a vapor cloud. So it's hard to type, breathe or see. It's very hard to sleep. There are insolent, stanky clouds of farts poofing around this room. Boys are snoring and farting randomly and forcefully. Yes, I am at the State Wrestling Meet. Yes, I am trapped in a room ( small one at that) with my snoring hubby(God love him) and my two boys (stinky and ranky) and a friend of theirs...singing fart boy! My eyes are burning. My ears are aching. I want to scream and slap these stinky stanky snoring machines while shouting SHUT UP YOU SHIT HEADS!!! Is that wrong? Am I stepping over the line here? I don't think so...but I'm "biassed" I do MEAN...BIG FAT BUTTED!! damn
My life is perfect! How's yours?

February 13, 2010

5 qualify for State Wrestling!

Upper: We have 5 boys who qualify for the state wrestling tournament. Yes!
Downer: None are mine...8(

Upper: My guys can now eat!
Downer: Track will not start for a few weeks.

Upper: I will not have to get so nervous watching my boys wrestle and worry about them getting injured or hurting someone.

Downer: Andrew (my senior)is done now. sigh
Upper: Andrew had two years of full wrestling and no injuries this season! Alec did not get inured nor did he injure anyone!

Downer: Alec has 2 more years left!
Upper: Alec has 2 more years left!

Upper: We are going to Omaha to watch our 5 qualifiers KICK SOME ASS!
Downer: We are only going to be gone for 3 days!

Pubes, in general BELONG IN YOUR PANTS!

Why is it every time I went into the public restroom today(5 times at least as I was at a wrestling tournament all day!) ... I saw pubic hair sitting happily, waving around in the breeze like a pussy willow on the brink of spring...on the rim of the toilet? AND it was NOT not my own!!! "PEOPLE!" I want to scream! "PEOPLE! Either shave it, tuck it in or CLEAN THE HELL UP AFTER YOU UTILIZE THE FACILITIES!" I don't get it. Why are people, I mean women who go to wrestling meets, losing pubes? Are they inflicted with thyroid disorders? Are they tugging on their too small undies and snagging their snatches? What the hell. Are you Gretel leaving crumbs to find your way? Are you marking your territory? What? Why? Don't you turn and look at the rim of the toilet before you leave the stall? Why do I have to clean up before AND after I use the toidy? Hells Bells...I see enough pubic hair on my OWN bathroom floor. I thought it was because I had a house full of hairy men! WTF are all those pubes doing in the WOMEN'S bathroom???!!! Please, clean up BEFORE I SEE YOU AGAIN!! I think you know who you are. gag



January 28, 2010

Mental Note To Self

The Devil Wears Nada is NOT THE SAME AS The Devil Wears Prada! Seriously...this was a revelation to me..OR ... a sign that my vision really is in a serious decline.

January 24, 2010

Tit for Tat

What do you do if you want to do better in sports, get faster, reduce resistance?? Chop somthing off, something you don't use of course, unnecessary things. Hopefully then you can win a gold medal and the love of your country. God, what a sacrifice. Just imagine how one could be thrust into the spotlight after singing the Star Spangled Banner! Maybe instead of a cereal box we could put
Jana Rawlinson picture on a box of surgical instruments like sayyyy...scalpels.

January 22, 2010

Slacka daisy winter blues or some thing like that

Haven't posted for awhile. No real reason. Maybe I'm using facebook more. Becoming less verbal. Speaking in short sentences. Trying to put everything into one little "status update" sentence. Every sentence a bit haiku like. The wave of the future...? I wonder. Many people might be happy my rambling nonsensical blog posts have become sporadic but what does that say about me? I hate the fact my posts are so clean lined and flat. I hope this isn't a change that sticks. I'm going to make an effort to blog a bit more. Play word scrabble a bit less. It's true. I'm addicted and driven to beat the high score of a friend on facebook. A score that seems to be unattainable. Somehow I can't believe that anyone can get so high a score without CHEATING!! Also, my daughter has a high score that is jabbing me in the side of my head where my speed typing has become lazy or nonexistent. Too competitive you ask? Yes. Absolutely. However...I may need an intervention as I often dream about words now. Wake myself up saying...RADIATE! and ERASER! and RESEARCHER! and run to the computer to see if I can find the "perfect game". That being the one in which I BEAT THE HIGH SCORE!
Well...almost time to get up now. Lucky for me I've been up for hours. Better go turn off the alarm and get ready to make the donuts...8) Or...maybe I could in a game of word scrabble.................