February 20, 2010

F.M.L

Imagine if you will this: I am floating in a vapor cloud. So it's hard to type, breathe or see. It's very hard to sleep. There are insolent, stanky clouds of farts poofing around this room. Boys are snoring and farting randomly and forcefully. Yes, I am at the State Wrestling Meet. Yes, I am trapped in a room ( small one at that) with my snoring hubby(God love him) and my two boys (stinky and ranky) and a friend of theirs...singing fart boy! My eyes are burning. My ears are aching. I want to scream and slap these stinky stanky snoring machines while shouting SHUT UP YOU SHIT HEADS!!! Is that wrong? Am I stepping over the line here? I don't think so...but I'm biassed...by "biassed" I do MEAN...BIG FAT BUTTED!! damn
My life is perfect! How's yours?

February 13, 2010

5 qualify for State Wrestling!

Upper: We have 5 boys who qualify for the state wrestling tournament. Yes!
Downer: None are mine...8(

Upper: My guys can now eat!
Downer: Track will not start for a few weeks.

Upper: I will not have to get so nervous watching my boys wrestle and worry about them getting injured or hurting someone.
Downer: I FREAKING LOVE WRESTLING !!

Downer: Andrew (my senior)is done now. sigh
Upper: Andrew had two years of full wrestling and no injuries this season! Alec did not get inured nor did he injure anyone!

Downer: Alec has 2 more years left!
Upper: Alec has 2 more years left!

Upper: We are going to Omaha to watch our 5 qualifiers KICK SOME ASS!
Downer: We are only going to be gone for 3 days!

Pubes, in general BELONG IN YOUR PANTS!

Why is it every time I went into the public restroom today(5 times at least as I was at a wrestling tournament all day!) ... I saw pubic hair sitting happily, waving around in the breeze like a pussy willow on the brink of spring...on the rim of the toilet? AND it was NOT not my own!!! "PEOPLE!" I want to scream! "PEOPLE! Either shave it, tuck it in or CLEAN THE HELL UP AFTER YOU UTILIZE THE FACILITIES!" I don't get it. Why are people, I mean women who go to wrestling meets, losing pubes? Are they inflicted with thyroid disorders? Are they tugging on their too small undies and snagging their snatches? What the hell. Are you Gretel leaving crumbs to find your way? Are you marking your territory? What? Why? Don't you turn and look at the rim of the toilet before you leave the stall? Why do I have to clean up before AND after I use the toidy? Hells Bells...I see enough pubic hair on my OWN bathroom floor. I thought it was because I had a house full of hairy men! WTF are all those pubes doing in the WOMEN'S bathroom???!!! Please, clean up BEFORE I SEE YOU AGAIN!! I think you know who you are. gag


beyoches


gross